


Something Tragic and Something so Magic

by Mystical_giggles



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Trans Character, Canon typical drinking and smoking, David is oblivious, David lives with his godparents, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kinda, M/M, Matteo falls head over heals, Matteo’s gay shirt will make an appearance, Referenced depression, Slow Burn, science AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-06-22 20:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 54,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19679563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_giggles/pseuds/Mystical_giggles
Summary: The Keller gymnasium was started by one of the world leading companies in science, engineering and technology, Keller & Co, and it’s purpose is to educate the most intelligent prodigies of Germany. Matteo, an exceptionally skilled programmer running from his past, is doing everything he can to keep up during his third and final year at the school. Then he meets David Schreibner, a fellow student, who happens to be the godson of the starters of the company and school. David is rich, popular, intelligent and values his research above everything else. As Matteo and David spend more time together, Matteo realizes he wants something he cannot have.But just when the pieces in Matteo’s life, against all odds, seem to fall into place, it all brakes apart again as he’s exposed to the dangerous game of business and riches. He soon finds himself in an impossible position that threatens to ruin his life, and his relationship with David, for good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been so much fun to write and I’m really excited to finally post it!
> 
> I’ve taken a lot of liberties when it comes to the science in this fic, but I still tried to make it somewhat believable.
> 
> It isn’t super heavy on the science though so you don’t have to be interested in science to enjoy it.
> 
> It will have six chapters and I will update it every Sunday.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Matteo ran through the empty hallways of the Keller _Gymnasium,_ and tried to remember the way to Biology class. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence since Matteo often had problems with making it to class on time. It was almost more common for him to be late to biology class than for him to be on time. It was always worse in the beginning of the semesters though, when he had all new classes and they were all in parts of the school he had never set foot in. This was also his first class in the morning which meant he couldn’t just follow one of his friends or one of his other classmates to the right classroom.

Matteo was just two weeks into his third and final year at the school and he was already behind in half of his classes. It wasn’t because Matteo was slacking or being lazy, it was because his teachers were evil creatures and wanted him to have no free time. The teachers at Kellers didn’t know anything about easing the students into the work after summer and always made them dive straight into essays, lab reports and a thousand other homework assignments.

Matteo cursed as he realised that he had taken a wrong turn. He took up his phone as he continued running down the hall. He looked at the time and saw that he was almost ten minutes late. He cursed again. He saw that he had gotten a message from his friend Amira but didn’t bother opening it and stuffed the phone back into his pocket. She probably just wondered where he was anyway.

He ran past the big banner which had Mr. and Mrs. Keller displayed on it, in all of their glory. They were both smiling with their white teeth and making eye contact with the camera while looking exactly like the rich people that they were. Next to them on the banner were the words:

_You pave the way for the future and we pave the way for you_

_The Keller Gymnasium, a leading gymnasium in science, engineering and technology since 2009._

The Kellers were the founders of Keller and co, one of the world leading companies when it came to invention and research within science, engineering and technology. Everyone had at least one of their products in their home and it was hard to find someone in Germany who didn’t know who the Kellers were. They had been in the industry for over 30 years but had only started to gain attention the past 20 when they launched a software system that was now used by most airports in the world.

2010 they launched their next big thing, the startup of the Keller _Gymnasium._ It was a school who’s top priority was to educate prodigies in their field and soon people were sending their kids from all parts of the countries to Berlin. Not everyone could get in though since they only accepted around 150 students per year. To get in you had to take an extensive entrance exam that tested you in over ten areas within science, engineering and technology, and you had to be intelligent enough to pass within each area. Otherwise you could kiss your dream of attending the school goodbye. 

Matteo continued his journey through the school and finally came to a halt outside the biology classroom for seniors. He caught his breath for a few second before opening the door as quietly as possible to try to sneak inside. Of course sneaking was impossible and he had barely made it into the room before professor Köhler, a woman in her early 40’s, said with a sarcastic tone, “How nice of you to join us, Mr. Florenzi”

Matteo who had been walking quietly to his seat turned around to look at her.

“I’m sorry for being late Professor,” Matteo answered. He was still out of breath and he could feel his cheeks heat up as all his fellow classmates looked at him.

He caught Amiras stare and she rolled her eyes. He shrugged as if to say, _what?,_ and then looked back at the professor

Professor Köhler waved her hand in Amiras direction. “Take your seat Mr. Florenzi,” she said in a tired voice. Then added, “And try to at least only come five minutes late next time.” His classmates laughed a little at this and Matteo quickly said, “Yeah, sorry”, before hurrying to take the seat next to Amira.

As he sat down and brought out his notebook and pen case, Amira didn’t spare him a look but instead kept her eyes on the paper she was taking notes on and said in a flat tone, “I texted you.”

“I saw,” matteo said. “Very nice of you.”

Amira leaned over and whispered, “how can you be late _again_? This is the third time since the semester started.”

“I got lost,” Matteo whispered back. He started to write down the things professor Köhler had written on the blackboard in his notebook.

“You always get lost,” Amira said and frowned.

“yeah well, I’m not good at orienting myself”

Amira gave him an annoyed look. “If you know you need time getting to class you should just leave earlier in the morning,”she paused and then added, “Or you could have just text me and we could’ve walked to class together.”

“Hey, I was at school early today,” He said in a fake offended voice. Then added, “I just had more important matters to attend to”

“You mean getting high with Jonas”, she said. Matteo shrugged and Amira rolled her eyes again.

They both continued to copy down the things that were written on the board.

After awhile Matteo said, “I’ll text you next time”

Matteo could see the tiniest smile on Amiras lips but then she smoothed out her expression again. She continued her writing as she said, “I’m a very busy person, so we’ll see if I’ll even answer.”

  
  
  


When they finally got out of biology class an hour later, Matteo breathed out a breath of relief.

Biology was his least favorite subject and definitely the one he struggled the most with. He probably would have failed and gotten kicked out of the school had it not been for Amira and her determination to help Matteo even when he was being an annoying little shit.

Matteo was much more looking forward to the class he had next. Scientific computing. Matteo really enjoyed programming so all the classes that involved computers, he tended to like. This was also the one and only class he shared with his best friend Jonas.

Every student at Kellers had 6 classes per day, three before lunch and three after. The students got to pick most of their classes themselves but there were a few classes that were mandatory for each student to take, like certain math, chemistry and biology classes. Matteo’s own choice-classes were basically made up of only programming classes in different areas, while Amira’s own choice-classes where mostly focused on advanced biology. Just thinking about anything related to biology made Matteo shudder. He would never step into a biology lab voluntarily.

He and Amira made their way through the school. Even though just under five hundred people attended the Keller _Gymnasium,_ the school was really big and it took about five minutes to go from one end to the other. The school was filled with research labs, classrooms, auditoriums and other lecture halls, since it was a part of the Keller and co complex. The complex was made up of several buildings that each did research on a different area but a few of the departments also had labs in the Gymnasium building. So it wasn’t only students and teachers that filled the school, but also hundreds of researcher within the company.

Matteo saw Jonas and some of his other friends sit on a bench in the area all the students called the glass hall. The reason it had gotten its name was pretty straight forward. It was mainly made up of glass. Both the ceiling and the walls had large windows that let in light even on the cloudiest of days.

Amira and Matteo walked over to their friends and Jonas gave Matteo a fist bump.

“Hey, bro. Make it to class in time?” he asked. Matteo shook his head.

He and Jonas had met up before school to smoke a joint behind the quantum mechanics building. It was kind of a tradition.

“Nah,” matteo answered. “You?”He sat down next to Jonas on the bench.

Jonas nodded, “I literally made it just in time. And it’s a good thing I did because professor Stein is hard as shit with those things. He gives out detention for just about anything.”

“It’s true!” Abdi, another friend of theirs, said. “He once gave me detention for forgetting to write my name on a homework assignment.”

Their other friend, Carlos, put a hand on Abdi’s shoulder and looked at him with sympathy. “that’s fucked up man,” Carlos said.

Before Abdi could say something else, Kiki, Carlos girlfriend, spoke up. “So, are you guys coming to Alex’s party on friday?”

Alexander Hardenberg was together with one of Matteo’s roommates and also happened to be from one of the richest families in Berlin. There were a lot of rumours going around between the students that Alex’s parents paid the school for Alex to go there, but Matteo knew all of that was just made up bullshit. Alex was a genuinely smart guy and Matteo knew he was really talented with computers. 

As the group continued discussing their plans about the party on friday, another big group of people walked past them and it made everybody stop talking and avert their attention. The big group was made up of the popular kids, or as matteo liked to think of them, the rich kids. He spotted Alex among them, talking to Leonie Richter a girl that Matteo shared a class in Laplace transformation with. And of course, in the middle of the group, Matteo spotted another familiar face.

David Schreibner was talking to a girl named Sara that Matteo shared chemistry class with.

David was the godson of Peter and Naomi Keller and a prodigy in cell biology. Matteo had never talked to him in person but he often saw him around school, and he was always surrounded by his large group of friends.

David had one several awards for his work and was deemed one of the most promising young men in the country. He was sort of like a celebrity and often appeared with his godparents at Galas and other big events. Matteo knew he sometimes went out to other schools and held lectures about his work. He was pretty much the most accomplished 18 year old Matteo knew about.

“I wonder if David Schreibner will be going to the party,” said Jonas girlfriend, Hannah, as they all continued watching the group walk by.

“When has David Schreibner ever been to a party in his life that didn’t serve endless champagne,” Said Sam M’Pelé, a girl with bright blue hair, as she popped a lollipop in her mouth.

Before anyone had time to answer the bell rang and they all started to make their ways to their lockers.

Matteo took out his science computing textbook from his locker. Jonas who had already gotten his stuff leaned on the locker next to Matteo’s and then asked, “so are we going to the party?”

Matteo closed his locker before answering.

“we’re going to the party”

  
  


Matteo felt exhausted as he dragged his feet up the steps to the apartment that he shared with Hans, Linn and Mia. He had moved in three years ago right before he had gotten into Keller, when things with his mom had hit a new all time low. He had been desperate at the time and had been frantically searching for a place to go. Then he had stumbled across an ad online that said that two students that were attending _The Keller Gymnasium_ were looking for two roommates. That had given Matteo hope because this couldn’t just be a coincident. He had planned on applying for Kellers as soon as he heard about it when he was 13 years old.

Matteo had always liked programming and at 12 years old he had been really good at it. The interest had definitely started with him playing video games and that’s what he started making as well. But quick and simple little games soon turned into advanced phone applications and when he found out there was a chance for him to do this in school and actually study it, there was now question about it. He had to get in.

Unfortunately the entrance exam had happened during one of the worst times in his life. His mom had been worse than she had ever been before, and then Matteo’s dad had just left to go to Italy. Matteo didn’t remember much about the exam, only that everything had been too loud and too bright. He didn’t feel hopeful after it and he felt like he was on the brink of giving up all together. That’s when he saw the ad for the flatshare and suddenly he saw a future for himself again. There must be a reason for him to have found this ad because how many students that attended the Keller _Gymnasium_ lived in a flatshare? If he got a room in this apartment and got into the school, everything would work out. He was sure of it. It was what he told himself over and over again those dark days before he moved out from his mom’s. Matteo never liked to think about how close it all was to falling apart or the things he did to stop it from happening.

He opened the door to the flatshare.

“Hello?” He asked, to see if anyone was at home.

“In the living room,” came Hans chipper voice.

Matteo walked into the living room to find Hans doing something that Matteo thought looked like yoga. He only had his hands on the floor and had folded in on himself so that his knees rested on his elbows. Matteo stared at him with an amused expression.

Matteo liked Hans and he would definitely consider the two of them friends. Close friends even. Hans was the first person he came out to and the first person that told him he should seek help from a therapist.

Hans and Linn had been in their last year at Kellers when Matteo and Mia started their first year. They had sort of taken them under their wing. Well Matteo more than Mia, but still. They had told them about which classes not to take, which teachers to avoid and Matteo had drunk it all in, desperate to get everything right for once.

“Is Linn home?” Matteo asked as Hans moved into a new, but equally disturbing, position.

“No she’s still at work”

Linn had specialized in environmental engineering and had immediately landed an internship at a consulting company in Berlin. The internship took up most of her time which meant she wasn’t around much. It was weird not having her around the flatshare, because when she had still been in school, you could almost always count on Linn being home.

“So,” Hans said. “How was school?” He finally got up from doing his weird yoga thing and sat down on the couch that took up most of the space in the living room.

Matteo shrugged. “Good,” he said. “How was spending the day doing absolutely nothing?” 

Even though Hans finished school over a year ago, he still hadn’t gotten a job, or an internship for that matter. Matteo wasn’t sure why, because he knew that Hans had gotten plenty of offers. Just the other week Matteo saw a letter from the Zimmerman company in Hans mail. Matteo had asked Hans several times why he didn’t say yes to any of the offers. _It’s about finding the right one Matteo,_ was the answer he always received. After a while Matteo had stopped asking.

Hans had specialized in bioengineering and he had graduated top of his class, which was a quite big accomplishment considering the brightest kids in the country had been his classmates.

“Now, now Matteo,” Hans said in the same tone you used when scolding a child. “Don’t be like that. I’ve done plenty of things today. I’ve done a lot of soul searching”

Matteo smiled at Hans. “I’m sure you have,” he said and walked into his room.

  
  


He put down his bag on the chair in the corner of his room and opened it to take out all the homework assignments he had gotten that day. He put them on the pile of the already existing homework he had dragging behind him from the first to weeks of school, and collapsed onto the chair at his desk. He opened his computer and logged in. He stared longingly at the different programming software icons that filled his screen.

Each senior that attended the Keller _Gymnasium_ , had to do a project within the field that they specialized in, and in the end of the year they would publish that project in one form or another. Some people would do thousands of pages worth of research, others would build and engineer devices that later went out on the market, but as a programmer, Matteo was expected to make some sort of software program.

He had recently started working on an app that could track your breathing during sleep and that would report any abnormalities. If it worked correctly it could help discover seizures and hopefully even prevent them. Matteo was always working on small programming things or applications, but he was actually quite excited about this one and it itched in his fingers to get back to it.

He looked at the growing pile of homework and sighed loudly. The fun would have to wait.

  
  
  


Mia and Matteo walked together to the party on Friday. 

Alex lived in a gigantic apartment, that probably cost more money than Matteo would ever have, and it was only about a 15 minute walk from their flatshare.

Matteo and Mia, even though they had lived together for over two years, weren’t close by any means. This was probably due to the fact that Mia was almost never home. She was either at the school studying or she was at Alex’s place. It was also probably due to the fact that Matteo found Mia kind of terrifying.

He didn’t really know why and he couldn’t think of anything she had done to make him feel that way. It was just her aura. She exuded confidence and seemed to know exactly what she wanted. She was sort of the opposite of Matteo.

He and Mia made conversation about school most of the way but then seemed to run out of things to say about it. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes before Mia spoke up.

“Have you talked to any of your parents lately?” Her tone was casual as she said the words.

Matteo was surprised. He and Mia rarely talked about these things. No scratch that, they _never_ talked about these things. Matteo knew, that Mia knew the situation with his parents was sort of a difficult one. Even though they weren’t close, you couldn’t go two years of living together and not find out about those sort of things.

“Ehm… Not really,” Matteo answered. He kicked at a rock on the pavement that went scurrying down the path. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I haven’t actually talked to either of them in about a year.” Matteo almost winced at his own words. It was true though. Matteo’s dad hadn’t made much of an attempt to stay in contact with his son since he left the country two years ago. A check once a month was pretty much what their relationship came down to at the moment. Matteo didn’t even have the strength to care anymore.

He did feel guilty about his mom though. She used to send him texts at least once a week, texts that Matteo would always read but never answer. He often fantasized about calling her. What he would say, and what they would talk about. But somehow he never managed to pick up his phone and actually do it. It was like, the more time that passed, the harder it got. It was as if the stakes gotten higher and higher and now so much time had passed that it just felt impossible.

When things had gotten very strained in the Florenzi household a few years ago, his dad had decided he had had enough. Matteo’s mother had desperately tried to make his dad stay with them. It had worked for a few months but then his mom had gotten even worse and Matteo’s dad had filed for a divorce.

Matteo remembered the look on his mom’s face when his dad offered to take Matteo with him. He had never seen her look so heartbroken and pained. Matteo knew he didn’t have a choice in the matter. When Matteo had assured his mom that he wasn’t going anywhere she had held on to him and cried.

Matteo knew what happened hadn’t been his fault but at the time he had been filled with guilt and it had taken a lot of therapy to lessen that guilt. But the guilt from everything that had transpired two years ago had been replaced by this other guilt, and this time it was worse because now it was actually his fault. Because in the end, he had left her. He had left her and then he had ignored her ever since.

Well mostly ignored her. There had been that one night, about a year ago, when he had been unable to stop himself. He had started to get worse again and it really sucked because he had been under the naive impression that he was healthy for good now, after having gone to therapy. One night after a really bad day, when he had stayed in bed for all of it, he had started to think of his mom. That often happened on his bad days. He wondered how she was doing and if she would understand the way he was feeling. He always thought she would. He had taken his phone and opened up the text conversation with his mother. He had stared at the previous message his mom had sent him.

__Mom:_ _

_"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth._

_3 John 1:4_

_I’m always thinking of you, my dear Matteo_

Matteo thought about the things he had done and couldn’t help but think about how ironic that message was. There wasn’t a lot of truth left in Matteo. 

He had stared at the message for over twenty minutes and then, before he could think about it, he typed down the first message in over a year to his mother, and hit sent.

__Matteo:_ _

_I miss you._

Then he had blocked her number and turned off his phone.

Matteo and Mia had now made it to Alexander’s apartment building. Matteo was surprised at the modesty of the building, he had kind of expected Alex’s place to have it’s own doorman and maybe a valet, but the building didn’t stand out that much from the rest of the buildings in the neighborhood.

As they walked the last few meters Mia slowed down and Matteo followed her pace.

“You know Matteo, I know a few things about what it’s like to have a complicated relationship with your parents,” she said and looked over at him.

Matteo wasn’t surprised by this. He had overheard plenty of seemingly not so good conversations between Mia and her parents. Their rooms shared a wall after all.

As they walked up the steps to the building to ring the bell, Mia said, “What I’m trying to say is,”she rang the bell before continuing. “I’m here if you ever wanna talk.”

Matteo looked at her for a second. She was looking at him with a soft expression and suddenly Mia didn’t seem that scary at all. He gave her a warm smile. 

“Thanks Mia”

  
  


Alex’s apartment was packed with people. There were people dancing, playing beer pong, making out and even people throwing up. It seemed like every senior from the Kellers had showed up.

Matteo could see Abdi trying to flirt with Sam over in the corner of the room.

Alex greeted them at the door. He shook Matteo’s hand, gave Mia a kiss and before Matteo had a chance to react, both of them were lost in the mass of people. Matteo searched the room for familiar faces. He didn’t want to interrupt Abdi’s flirtings attempts with Sam, even though they were definitely not working, but he also didn’t want to be alone.

To be honest, parties weren’t really Matteo’s thing. They were too loud, too crowded and too many other things all at once. The only reason he went to them was to avoid uncomfortable questions from his friend about why he didn’t attend. But he mostly kept to himself anyway. Never dancing and never talking to anyone who wasn’t anyone of his friends. Only then could he get through the night without feeling like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. The beer and the weed helped too.

Just as he started to make his way towards Abdi and Sam, he felt a hand wrap around his arm.

“Luigi, you’re finally here!”, shouted Jonas over the loud music. He was wearing a button down shirt that was soaked in sweat and his hair was plastered to his face. He had probably been dancing, Matteo thought and let himself get dragged away from the door by Jonas. He lead Matteo towards the fridge and Matteo gracefully avoided a boy who was trying to make it to the sink in time. Jonas handed him a beer from the fridge and then stared out into the sea of people. 

Matteo opened his beer and swept his gaze over Jonas. He looked good, Matteo thought. And then he thought about how nice it was that he could think those thoughts and not blush all over.

About a month into his friendship with Jonas, Matteo realised that he might have more than friendly feelings for the boy. Matteo had now realised that it was likely due to the fact that he had never had a close relationship with a boy before and having someone’s attention like that had felt really nice and was something he wasn’t used to. During their first semester Jonas started dating Hannah and at first it had driven Matteo crazy. It had gotten to the point where he couldn’t stand being alone with the two of them. But after a couple of months Matteo realised that just because Hannah was Jonas’s girlfriend didn’t mean that Matteo wasn’t Jonas’s best friend. 

Matteo had spent a couple of more months being lovesick but after awhile his feelings had started to disappear and he was left with feelings of only brotherly affection towards Jonas. He didn’t even think he had ever been properly in love with Jonas. Just a confused young boy. Or a confused _gay_ young boy really.

“Where is Hanna?” Matteo asked after a minute. Jonas pointed to the dancefloor and Matteo followed his gaze. Hanna was in the middle of the floor dancing with Kiki and Carlos.

“Don’t you want to go and dance with her?” Matteo asked and sipped his bear. He made a face. It didn’t taste great but he couldn’t really complain since he had gotten it for free.

“Nah, I’d rather catch up with my brother Luigi,” Jonas said and ruffled Matteo’s hair. “Come on, let's go smoke”

They ended up on the balcony in Alex’s bedroom, sitting down on the cold concrete. The traffic of the city was almost drowned out by the loud music coming from inside Alex’s apartment.

Jonas took out a joint and a lighter from his pocket. He lit the joint up and took a drag. 

“So how has life been treating you lately?” Jonas said and passed the joint over to Matteo. He said it in a casual tone but Matteo could sense that there was more behind it.

Jonas knew how much Matteo struggled sometimes and he even knew most of what had happened with his parents. It had been during nights like these, when they were both tired and a little high, that Matteo felt like it was easier to open up.

“It’s been good, I think,” He answered and took a drag. Jonas looked at him and nodded. Matteo liked that Jonas cared about him enough to worry, but it sometimes made Matteo feel like a helpless baby. And he didn’t really feel like going to deep into his feeling tonight, so he added, “though I am a little behind on all the homework.”

“Yeah, tell me about it bro,” Jonas said as Matteo handed him the joint again. “I haven’t even started on the scientific computing assignment yet.” Jonas eyes then lit up as if he had had an amazing idea. “Maybe we can do it together on sunday or something!”

Matteo scoffed and took the joint back before Jonas had a chance to take a drag. “You’re only saying that because you suck at scientific computing and you want me to do all the work,” he said.

“Okay maybe, but that’s what friends are for right? helping each other out?” Matteo couldn’t argue with that so he gave the joint back to Jonas.

Matteo hadn’t known a lot of people in the city, despite growing up there, before starting at Kellers. He had lost most of his friends during the last few years he lived at home when his mental health had started to go south. Not that he had that many friends to begin with. Matteo wasn’t really an outgoing person and he was sort of surprised at the big social group that now surrounded him. Most of that was to Jonas credit though.

Jonas and Matteo had met each other during their first day at Kellers. They had ended up next to each other during rollcall and somehow Jonas had deemed Matteo as someone worth hanging out with. They had pretty much been inseparable since then and Matteo was forever grateful. He had never had a friend liked Jonas, had never experienced a friendship like this. Him and Jonas didn’t just have fun together, Matteo also felt like he could talk to Jonas about everything without having to worry about Jonas leaving him or judging him. It was an nice feeling to have.

“Hey! You guys smoking without us?” Carlos came out on the balcony followed by a sad looking Abdi. Carlos sat down opposite Matteo and dragged Abdi down next to him. He took the joint from Jonas’s hand and gave it to Abdi. “Here bro, smoke your troubles away”

“What happened with you and Sam, did something go wrong?”, Matteo asked as Abdi sadly eyed the joint in his hand.

Matteo shared a look with Carlos. Abdi had liked Sam for over a year now but everytime he was brave enough to approach her, everything always seemed to end up with something going wrong and Abdi looking completely defeated.

“Maybe I should just give up,” Abdi said, miserably. “She obviously doesn’t like me.” If Matteo didn’t know any better, he would say Abdi was about to cry.

“Hey, stop that now,” said Jonas. “You don’t know how she feels. And at least she’s not ignoring you all together.”Jonas gave Abdi a soft nudge with his foot.

Abdi raised the joint to his mouth but then lowered it again.

“it just sucks because soon you all are going to get Married and have babies and move out to the suburbs and get one of those really ugly, but in a cute kind of way, dogs. And me,” Abdi made a dramatic pause and stared off into the distance that was Alex’s room. “I’ll be single forever,” He finished and finally took a drag.

“Hey now, that’s not true. Not all of us will do that,” Jonas said. He gave Abdi another nudge with his foot and then gestured to Matteo “Matteo will be right there with you. That boy can’t flirt for shit.”

Matteo raised his hands. “Um, excuse me?” he said, offended.

“You know I’m right, Luigi. Everytime a boy comes near you, you run the other way.” Matteo punched him in the arm. “I’m just saying,” jonas said as he rubbed his arm. “You’ll never get a boyfriend if you don’t take any chances”

Carlos,who had been nodding along to Jonas’s words, had now taken the joint from Abdi and took a long drag. He pointed the joint at Matteo.

“He’s right you know,” said Carlos. He handed the joint back to Abdi.

Matteo looked at him, betrayed.

“Well Abdi is taking chances all the time and he still has no girlfriend so...” Matteo said.

Abdi raised the joint to his lips and took another drag before saying, “Low blow, Mr Florenzi. Low blow”

  


Matteo decided to leave the party around one in the morning and was now walking home in the chilly october air. Mia was spending the night at Alex’s so he didn’t have her company this time around. The flatshare was on the other side of the Keller complex from Alex’s place, which meant he had to cross over the complex to get home.

Matteo actually liked walking around the area after dark. It was less hectic for sure, but there were still so much movement within each building. He could see people in lab coats, and people by computers, through the large windows. It made him feel less alone in some way.

He walked past the office building.

It was there the _really_ important shit got done and it was also there Mr. and Mrs. keller spent most of their working time. It was an impressive building that stretched 15 stories high and towered over the other buildings at the complex.

As he continued his way across the complex, and was walking past the quantum mechanics building, he saw a familiar figure make their way to the building of biomedicine.

David Schreibner was dragging a big cart behind him with great difficulty. He had a bag hanging from one shoulder and several books in his left hand. His right hand, that he used to drag the cart, also held several folders stuffed with paper documents.

After a few steps he dropped the folders and let out a frustrated sound. He bent down and started to gather them up again.

Matteo didn’t know if it was the buzz of the weed and alcohol or his general curiosity about David Schreibner, but he found himself walking towards the spot David had stopped.

David didn’t notice him come up and looked startled when Matteo cleared his throat.

“Do you need some help with that?” Matteo asked and pointed at the wagon. At first David just stared at him and Matteo got nervous that David would tell him off or tell him to mind his own business. But then David gave him a relieved smile. 

“That would be great, Thank you.”

He gave Matteo the handle and picked up the rest of the folders. They started walking.

Matteo had no idea how to start a conversation with David. Even though they went to the same school, Matteo doubted they had much else in common. David was a known biology nerd and Matteo was a less known biology hater.

After awhile David said, “Are you new here? I feel like I haven’t seen you around”

 _Well this is awkward_ , Matteo thought. “No actually, this is my third year.” 

He shouldn’t really be surprised. There was really no reason for David to have paid notice to Matteo. They didn’t specialize in the same areas and the only classes they had together were the big lecture classes with 150 other students. And then there was the fact that he was _David Schreibner_ of course. He was _way_ above Matteo on the social ladder. 

David gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m really bad at remembering faces.”

“It’s okay, no worries,” Matteo said. They walked in awkward silence for awhile.

David looked over at Matteo and swept his gaze over his outfit.

“Did you come from a party?” David asked him.

Matteo looked down at his own outfit. He supposed he looked a bit party ready. He had on a unbuttoned,printed shirt on top of a long sleeved, black sweater.

“Yeah, you know Alex Hardenberg?” Matteo asked. Of course Matteo knew that David and Alex knew each other, but he was trying to play it cool. He was sort of starstruck. He couldn’t believe he was making casual conversation with _the_ David Schreibner. 

“Oh that’s right, I think i remember him mentioning something about that”, David said.

“But you didn’t wanna go?” Matteo remembered what Sam had said about David not going to parties.

“Um, no. I kinda had other plans,” he gestured at the cart that Matteo was now dragging behind him. Matteo smiled at him and then looked back at the cart.

“What is it, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh not at all. It’s for an experiment I’m doing,” David said and his whole face lit up. “You see, I’m trying to duplicate cells using electromagnetic waves. And this thing here,” he pointed at the big metallic object on the cart. “Is going to help me do it.”

“Sounds cool” Matteo wasn’t really interested in anything that had to do with biology, but using electromagnetism actually sounded kind of interesting.

“It is!” David said. “ Or it will be anyway, if I actually get it to work.” They had made it into the building and were now waiting for the elevator to come.

David seemed to be deep in thought because he was biting his lip and muttering to himself about cell membranes and temperature.

Matteo wondered if he should leave. David probably didn’t want anyone in his lab and definitely not a stranger like Matteo. He was just about to say goodnight and leave when David turned around and looked at him with a hopeful expression.

“Do you want to come up and see it?”

  
  


David’s lab was on the fifth floor in the building of biomedicine and it had an incredible view over the rest of the complex and a large part of Berlin. David pointed to a table at the far end of the lab which was cluttered with things. Matteo counted at least six coffee mugs and four different lab coats.

“You can put the cart over there,” he said and hurried around the lab to turn on the lights. Matteo dragged the cart to where he had pointed and then turned back to David who was now bent over what looked like a metallic ring. He was looking through a microscope at something in the middle of the ring. He waved Matteo over.

“Here you go. Look through this”

Matteo looked into the microscope. At first he couldn’t tell what he was looking at. All he could see was just weird black lines. But then he saw a little blob. 

“Do you see it?” David asked excitedly.

“Yeah,” Matteo looked up at David again who was staring at him expectantly. Matteo didn’t really know what more David wanted him to say. “Sorry I’m not really that good at Biology”

“No, no it’s fine,” David said. He pointed at the the metallic ring. “So this thing here is what’s making the electromagnetic waves that makes the cells duplicate.” He then continued explaining the science behind it all and Matteo tried his best to keep up.

He found the excited way David talked about his experiment, weirdly charming. He had kind of always pictured David as a self absorbed snob, since his parents were billionaires and all, but that’s not the impression he got now as he listened to David talk. He was obviously way too into biology for it to be healthy, but other than that, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Matteo actually believed his earlier statement about being bad at remembering faces. At first he had thought that it was just David being self centered, but now he was starting to suspect David didn’t put anything to memory unless it was some obscure science fact.

“If i get this to work. This would be a much more efficient way to make new nerve tissue. It would be both cheaper and quicker than the ways that are used today,” he finished.

Matteo nodded. He was impressed. Obviously he knew that David was smart, he had several awards to prove that, but it was another thing to experience it first hand. “That’s really great,” Matteo said.

“Right?”, David said with that excited tone again. Then his face got troubled. “Unfortunately, I can’t get it to work properly. But that’s where that thing comes in.” He pointed to the thing in the cart.

“You see,” he continued. “I have no problem with getting the cell to duplicate. What I’m having problems with is to get them to survive once they do.” he went over and looked at the big metallic thing in the cart. To Matteo it looked almost like a gigantic microscope (macroscope?).

“The electromagnetic waves makes the cells heat up to a temperature they can’t survive,” he said. “ But if I can use this thing”, he said and put his hand on the gigantic microscope. “Then it would cool them down and help them keep just the perfect temperature after duplicating.”

He gave the thing a scrutinizing look. “The only problem is that I would have to be here all the time to turn it on and off. And even if I did that, it would be really hard to time it perfectly,” he said.

Matteo spoke up. “Why don’t you just programme it to do it for you?”

David looked at Matteo as if he had forgotten he was there. “Programme it?” He said it as if this was the first time he had ever heard the word. “Hm,” he said and then turned quiet for a second and seemed to be thinking hard. Finally he looked at Matteo again and said. “I’m not much of a programmer, But um, how would one do that?

Matteo couldn’t believe he was about to give _David Schreibner_ advice. “Well you could use an ultrasound sensor to sense when the cells are duplicating and then programme that, uh… thing to turn on at that signal. We do stuff like that all the time in programming and engineering. It’s easy.” 

David looked at Matteo like he had used opened up a whole new world to him and then looked back at the gigantic microscope and whispered to himself, “Easy.”

  
  


The clock was nearing two in the morning, when Matteo left the building of biomedicine behind. He felt strangely good about himself. He had talked to David Schreibner, prodigy godson to Peter and Naomi Keller. And not only that, David Schreibner had valued _his_ opinion. It had felt really good to be helpful in the area he was supposed to be specialized in. It felt like a receipt that, what he was doing wasn’t for nothing and that he actually could have a future in this. He felt excited about that in a way he hadn’t for a long time.

 _And_ , he thought as he cast one last look at the building where he knew David was still working away, _maybe biology wasn’t so bad after all._  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” Matteo asked, annoyed. 
> 
> “Nothing, nothing,” said Amira as she too, picked up their math homework. Then she said, “I just think it’s funny how you’ve never showed any interest in biology whatsoever, but now that you’re hanging out with David…,” She trailed off. 
> 
> Matteo continued to give her an annoyed look and Amira continued to smile.
> 
> “What?” He repeated. 
> 
> Amira shrugged, “I just think it’s cute.”

It was the grand opening of the new department at Keller & Co., which meant that everyone was invited. Teachers, students, researchers,  _ everyone.  _ Of course this meant that Matteo and his friends had to spend their Friday evening dressed in fancy clothes and also had to make pleasant small talk with all the other people that were forced to be there. 

The new department was meant to explore the field of astrophysics and there had been a lot of buzz about it for quite some time. It would create a lot of new job openings at the company and also a new field of study for the  _ Gymnasium.  _ Matteo, who couldn’t care less about astrophysics, planned to get through his evening with as many dinner rolls as possible. 

An event like this would have been out of the question two years ago, when Matteo was at his worst. He used to come up with excuses of why he couldn’t attend them and would instead lock himself up in his room. 

Things had definitely gotten better since then, but these kind of gatherings still weren’t his favorite. It was the same as the parties he attended. To loud and to many people. 

He and his other friends listened to Mr. Keller’s speech about the possibilities that the new department would have and new doors this department would open for the company. Mrs. Keller was also there, standing beside her husband. Behind them, Matteo spotted David. He had a champagne glass in his hand and wore his standard public smile. It was different from the smile that he had worn last week, when Matteo had talked with him. This one was more reserved and didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was still convincing. If Matteo hadn’t seen the real thing, he definitely wouldn’t have thought twice about it. 

He hadn’t talked to David since that night after Alex’s party, but he had seen him in school a few times, always surrounded by his large group of friends. Matteo sometimes fantasized about going up to David, but he knew that it would never happen. He was way to shy for that. He was also kind of scared that David wouldn’t remember him and it would all turn into a big fiasco. But that was probably just his anxiety acting up.

His thoughts about David were interrupted as Peter Keller told them all to raise their glasses and toast to this important milestone in the history of the company. Matteo raised his glass to his lips and watched as David did the same.

  
  
  
  
  


Two hours into the opening, Matteo found himself alone at one of the tables that held big plates stuffed with things to eat. He and his friends had all been talking to one of their professors but Matteo had soon gotten bored and had excused himself to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t like he was contributing much to the conversation anyway, just standing there and occasionally nodding along with everyone else. When he came back from the bathroom, he saw that they were still deep in conversation with the professor, so he had ducked his head and walked to the snack table instead.

“Mr. programmer,” came a voice from behind Matteo as he picked up some weird looking piece of food.

David Schreibner was standing behind him with a friendly smile on his face, a real one this time. He was dressed in a nice navy blue suit with gold buttons. He looked like he fit right in with the rest of the rich folks at the opening. 

“You know,” David said and walked up to stand next to Matteo. “I realized that I never asked for your name the last time.”

Matteo was still just staring at David with wide eyes. He couldn’t believe that David had approached him or that he had just admitted to having thought about Matteo since their last encounter. It was only because he hadn’t asked for Matteo’s name, but still.

David held out his hand. Matteo took it and prayed his hand wasn’t sweaty.

“Matteo Florenzi”

“David Schreibner” 

David gave him another real smile. 

“So,” David said. “You enjoying the grand opening?” He spread his fingers and did little jazz hands. Matteo laughed and took a sip from the glass he was holding. 

“Very much,” he assured David in an over exaggerated voice. David laughed. He leaned against the table and looked at the hundreds of people that filled the hall of the new astrophysics building. 

Matteo tried to think of something to say but David beat him to it.

“So you specialize in programming I presume?”

Matteo nodded. 

“What classes are you taking?” 

This whole conversation felt like something out of a dream for Matteo. Out of all the ways Matteo could have imagined this evening going, talking about something as casual as his school classes with David Schreibner, probably wouldn’t have ended up being one of them.

“Um, this semester I’m taking computer networking, scientific computing,” He started listing the classes of on his fingers. “C omputer Architecture-” David scrunched up his face. 

“Isn’t that the class were you have to make a 50 page long research paper about the differences in programming around the world?” He said and shuddered. 

Matteo laughed. “It actually isn’t that bad. And the teacher is actually really good.” David gave him a sceptical look and it made Matteo laugh again. 

“Well it’s a good thing that at least you enjoy it.”

”You’re not a fan of programming?” Matteo asked. He had never really heard anything about David liking it, but he had seen him in some programming classes so he knew that he at least had tried it out.

“Not really,” David admitted. “I’ve taken plenty, but I’m really shit at it. I don’t think it’s really my thing.”

It felt weird to Matteo that David could be bad at something, since he only ever heard stuff about his excellence. But of course, even David Schreibner couldn’t be good at everything.

“But biology is, right?” Matteo asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m specializing in,” David said his eyes lit up in that special way it did whenever he talked about biology.

Matteo asked him about the classes he was taking and David told him about all the different ones, each one sounding more and more awful, to Matteo’s ears.

“Are you interested in biology?” David asked him. Matteo could hear a hint of hopefulness in his voice and he felt bad about letting him down with his next words.

“Not really, no. I’ve only taken general biology.”

David nodded and didn’t seem too disappointed about this. He asked Matteo if he had any ideas for his final project and Matteo told him about the app he was working on. David seemed very impressed with it all, and Matteo continued to talk about other projects that he was working on. After awhile, Matteo realized that he was rambling and he looked at David who was wearing a thoughtful expression, as he met Matteo’s gaze.

Matteo cleared his throat and decided to turn the conversation back to David.

“So, how is your research going?” Matteo asked. 

A man came up and offered them a tray with new champagne glasses. They both took a new one of the tray.

David’s eyes lit up again. “It’s going,” he said. “I’ve managed to get the temperature scope to work.” 

Matteo guessed that the temperature scope was the correct name for the gigantic microscope that Matteo had helped drag in the cart. 

David had gotten that thoughtful expression back on his face that he had had earlier.

“But I’m having some trouble with the programming part,” David said and eyed Matteo. Matteo shifted under David’s gaze. 

“Do you think you could maybe come help me sometime in the lab?” David asked. “You seem to know what you’re talking about”

Matteo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. David actually wanted  _ his _ help? He thought  _ Matteo  _ seemed to know what he was talking about? Surely David must know a thousand other programmers, much more skilled than Matteo, that could help him out with his project. It just didn’t make sense. David had just met Matteo and here he was, basically asking Matteo to be his research parter. 

Since Matteo was taking so long to answer, David said. “It’s totally okay if you don’t want to. I get that you’re busy with your own stuff and probably-” Matteo interrupted him. “No, I can definitely help you!”

He couldn’t say no to being asked to work alongside  _ David Schreibner. _

David looked at him for a few seconds and then broke into a smile. “Great,” he said. “So, um maybe we can meet up in my lab sometime next week?”

“Yeah, that works,” Matteo said. He wondered if he should ask for David’s number, so that he had a way to contact him, but he didn’t want to seem too pushy or as if he only wanted a famous person's number. But Matteo didn’t have to worry because a second later David said, “Do you want to exchange numbers?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Matteo said and tried to sound like he hadn’t thought about that himself.

David gave him his phone and Matteo punched his number in. He gave it back to David who stared at it for a few seconds before saying, “Florenzi. that’s Italian, right?”

Matteo nodded

“Yeah my dad is from Italy,” he answered. It wasn’t an intruding question but he could still feel himself tense up in the way he always did when talking about either of his parents. 

He was afraid that David would ask him something more about him but David just smirked.

“I bet you really like pasta then?” David said and his smirk turned into a grin. 

Matteo felt relieved.

“Maybe so,” He said and took a sip of his champagne.

David laughed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


The night went on and Matteo continued to chat with David about his research and about school. Matteo hadn’t seen his friends since they were talking with that teacher and he didn’t feel the need to seek them out either. 

He was surprised at how easy it was to talk to David. Matteo often felt uncomfortable around new people and he often avoided ever having to make conversation with someone new. Even with his close friends, he was usually more quiet than the others. But David didn’t make him feel uncomfortable at all. Nervous, yeah, but not uncomfortable. And when Matteo got over the initial shock of talking to a semi celebrity, he started to actually enjoy himself. 

“So,” David said after a while. “What’s your favorite programming language?” he popped a strawberry into his mouth and wiggled his eyebrows at Matteo.

Matteo laughed and was about to answer when a man came up and put a hand on David’s shoulder. 

“We are about to head out now David,” said Peter Keller. 

Matteo felt himself freeze up. He had never seen Mr Keller so up close before. He had mostly just seen him on the big poster at school. There he looked cold, too perfect. But in person he was a kind looking man with warm brown eyes. 

“Oh,” David looked surprised. “What time is it?” He asked. 

“It’s half past twelve”, Mr. Keller said. 

_ Half past twelve? _ , Matteo thought. That meant that he and David had been talking for over one and a half hour. It hadn’t felt that long at all. He looked around and saw that a lot of people already had left and people had started to clean up.

Mr Keller then seemed to realise that David had been talking to someone and turned to Matteo.

“Peter, this is Matteo Florenzi,” David said. “We’re in the same year.” 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Florenzi,” said Mr. Keller and Matteo couldn’t help the shocked expression he got when Mr. Keller repeated his name. 

“Peter Keller,” Mr. Keller then said as he held out his hand for Matteo to shake.

Matteo took it and said in a small voice, “Pleasure is all mine, Mr. Keller.”

_ This night just keeped getting weirder and weirder,  _ Matteo thought.

“Matteo is going to help me with the programming for my research project,” David supplied helpfully.

“Is that so?” Mr. Keller asked and seized up Matteo again. “Well I appreciate you helping David out and hope you two finally get everything to work. He has been driving both me and Naomi mad these past few weeks.” He said the last part with a teasing but kind voice.

David rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll text you”, David said and Matteo nodded. Mr. Keller then put an arm around David’s shoulders and the two of them walked toward the exit.

Matteo didn’t move from the table and as more people started to clear out, Jonas, Carlos and Abdi spotted him and made their way over to him.

“Dude where were you all night?” Abdi asked. “You totally disappeared”

Matteo looked towards the door where David, Mr. and Mrs. Keller stood and thanked the people who were leaving, for coming.

“Oh you know, just mingling” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Why is David Schreibner texting you?”

Hans and Matteo were having breakfast on the Sunday after the opening. Both Mia and Linn were out for the day and both Matteo and Hans had slept until 10:00 that morning. 

Matteo and the boys had spent a quiet evening in the flatshare, just hanging out and drinking a few beers, but the boys hadn’t left his place until about two in the morning. Matteo would probably have slept well into the afternoon if Hans hadn’t come knocking on his door and asked him to have breakfast with him.

Now they were seated opposite each other at the kitchen table and Hans was telling Matteo about the party he had been at yesterday night, when he all of a sudden stopped talking and looked at Matteo’s phone. Matteo had placed it on the kitchen table and it had lit up, displaying David’s name on the locked screen

“No reason,” Matteo said and quickly turned his phone so that the screen was facing down. 

He didn’t know why he had said it was nothing. Maybe he felt like he just wanted to keep this… thing with David between him and David for a little while longer. Well between him, David and Mr Keller.

But of course Hans wasn’t going to let this go

He looked at Matteo suspiciously 

“What’s going on?” Hans asked and put his cup of tea down on the table.

Matteo sighed. He might as well tell him. “He needs a programmer for his research project and he asked me to help him,” Matteo said and took another bite of his sandwich

Hans stared at him with an open mouth.

“Your telling me that  _ David Schreibner _ , godson of Peter and Naomi Keller, asked  _ you  _ to help him with his research project? Hans voice got higher and higher as he spoke.

Matteo nodded.

Hans shook his head in disbelief. “I didn't even know you two knew each other”

“Well, we don’t really,” Matteo said and fidgeted with the juice box that was on the table, then added,” It’s kind of a long story”

Hans got a knowing smile on his face. 

“I’m sure it is,” he said and sipped his tea.

Matteo rolled his eyes and threw a grape at him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Back in the safety of his own room Matteo opened the text from David.

_ David: Hey, thanks again for agreeing to help me. Does Wednesday work for you? _

Matteo’s stomach did a weird flip. This was really happening. Like  _ really  _ happening. He was gonna help David with a project and David was trusting him with something he obviously cared about a lot.

Matteo smiled at his phone and typed out his reply. 

_ Matteo: Wednesday works! _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo, the boys and the girls were all sitting at a table in the big glass hall between first and second period. Carlos, Sam and Hanna were playing some card game, while Abdi was telling the others about something that had happened in his analytical chemistry lab. 

“And I asked him like five times if he had made sure that the pH level was at  _ exactly _ 8 before starting the titration. But then when I came back from diluting the hydrochloric acid, it was still at fucking 11,” Abdi said in an exasperated tone.

“And it was good thing I checked, because otherwise we would probably still be stuck in there,” Abdi buried his face in his hands and muttered, “I fucking hate being lab partners with photoshop Markus.”

Jonas rubbed Abdi’s back in sympathy and Matteo had just opened his mouth to say something, when something else caught his attention. 

David and his friends had entered the hall and they all seemed to be listening to something Sara Adamczyk was saying. 

Matteo caught David’s eyes and did a little head nod in greeting. David raised his hand at Matteo and said something to his friends while pointing in Matteo’s direction. Then David did something that really surprised Matteo. He broke off from his group and started walking over to where Matteo was sitting with his friends.

As he approached them, he adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder and gave Matteo a shy smile.

“Hey,” David said. He looked at Matteo’s big entourage and nodded at them in greeting before returning to look at Matteo. “Everything good?” 

It was weird to see David without his usual confidence and Matteo wondered what had caused it. He hadn’t acted like this the day in the lab or at the opening. Maybe it was because Matteo’s friends were present this time? Either way, Matteo found his awkwardness really charming. 

Matteo’s friends exchanged looks of disbelief and Matteo saw Carlos mouth,  _ what the fuck,  _ to Jonas. Matteo ignored them and instead answered David. He was almost just as shocked as his friends were, that this was actually happening but managed to let out a squeaky: “Yeah I’m good, you?”

“Yeah,” David answered. “Well as good as one can be from having spent an hour listening to Mr Becker talk about the evolution of the microscope,” he then added with a smile. 

Matteo laughed

“Sounds like it was amazing,” he said 

“Oh, it was,” David said with wide eyes and nodded enthusiastically. They both laughed and Matteo became painfully aware of his friends who were all watching their exchange with big interest. 

He tried to ignore them and instead asked David, “So, we still on for Wednesday?” 

“Yeah, if that works for you,” David answered. “I’m pretty much in the lab everyday anyway, so if you wanna come over another time that works as well”

Matteo shook is head a little. “No, Wednesday is fine.” 

David smiled at him. “Great.” He turned back to where his friends had stopped and were all waiting for him.

He looked at Matteo and gestures to the group and said, in an apologetic tone. “I should probably go.”

Matteo nodded. “Yeah of course.”

“I’ll see you on Wednesday then,” he said as he walked backwards, still looking at Matteo. 

“Yeah, Wednesday,” Matteo said and stared as David went back to his friends and they all started walking out of the hall. Matteo turned back to his friends, who were all staring at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Matteo asked them 

“Dude, since when do you know David Schreibner? Sam asked, lollipop in hand. 

“Are you guys, like friends? Kiki asked in an incredulous voice. 

Matteo shrugged and told them about David asking him to help with his project

“That is so cool,” Abdi exclaimed. “David is famous.” He slapped Matteo on the arm. “You’re friends with a famous person!”

Matteo shook his head at him and smiled at his friends reactions. They were all taking this way to seriously.

“Think about it, what if his project goes well and gets published.” Carlos said. “And then he wins another one of his awards for it. And this time you are up there with him.” Carlos had started to sound more and more excited. 

“Hold your horses man, I’m just doing some programming. It’s still David’s research project,” Matteo said and held up his hands.

“Yeah David’s research project, that  _ you’re  _ helping him with,” Carlos said.

“It’s really not that big of a deal”, he said.

They were kind of making him nervous and he really didn’t want to mess everything up.

“Just don’t forget about us when you’re all famous, is all I’m saying,” Carlos said and spread his arms.

Matteo rolled his eyes. “You guys really need to stop.” 

Carlos winked and gave him an amused smile.

“Whatever you say, superstar.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


On Wednesday evening, Matteo road the elevator up to the fifth floor of the biomedicine building. He had basically been forced to run from the boys or else they probably would have followed him to see David.

_ Ask him about which celebrities he’s met!,  _ Carlos had shouted as Matteo left the classroom they had been studying in.

And then Abdi had shouted,  _ Ask him about Obama! _

Matteo had given them both the finger before closing the door.

He walked past the many doors to other research labs before he made it to David’s. He knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Came a voice from the other side.

Matteo opened the door and walked inside.

David was seated on a chair on wheels and no back. He was wearing a lab coat and safety goggles.

“You made it!” He said and took of his goggles. 

Matteo walked further into the lab.

“Everything good?” David asked him.

“Yeah, everything’s good. And with you?”

“Fantastic,” David said with a huge smile.

His easy confidence was back and Matteo could feel the excitement rub off on him. 

“Let me show you around,” David said and stood up from his chair. “Do you drink coffee?” 

Matteo told him that he did and David walked up to a table in the corner of the room and poured each of them a cup from a coffee pot.

He then showed Matteo around the lab and told him what each device did and how to use it. 

Matteo had to admit that David’s lab was very well equipped. It had several microscopes, fume cupboards, scales and everything else you could possibly need. There were several long tables that had documents and used pipettes spread all over them. One of the desks seemed to be more of a creative space because it was filled with notebooks and papers with little doodles on them. On the back of the table was a picture frame with a photograph in it that showed 4 people smiling into the camera in front of the Eiffel Tower. Matteo recognized David, though he was much younger in it. Matteo also recognized a much younger Mr. and Mrs. Keller in the photo. Matteo hadn’t seen the last person in the photo in person but he still recognized her from all the different events that she had attended with the others.

He pointed to the photo. “That’s your sister right?” He asked David.

David looked at where Matteo was pointing.

“Yeah that’s Laura,” David said, his face full of fondness.

Laura was less public than David and Matteo didn’t really know much about what she did.

“Is she a researcher as well?” 

David snorted.

He leaned back against the table opposite the desk and crossed his arms.

“No, research isn’t really Laura’s thing. I suppose she’s sort of the black sheep of the family.” 

“What does she do then?” Matteo asked.

“She works for a charity organization. She’s currently in Africa helping towns get fresh water”

“That’s cool”

David nodded.“Yeah, it is.” He was quiet for a few seconds then pursed his lips and said, “But it means that she isn’t really home much anymore”

Matteo looked from David to the photo and then back to David again and asked, “Do you miss her?”

David nodded and said, his voice soft, “Yeah very much.” He uncrossed his arms and rubbed the back of his neck. “We’ve always been very close.”

He stared at the photograph again before turning to Matteo and asked, “Do you have any siblings?”

Matteo shook his head, “No, it’s just me”

“And your parents?” David asked. Matteo must have looked confused because he then clarified, “Are you close, I mean?”

Matteo shook his head again. “No, not really.”

David was clearly waiting for Matteo to say something more because he was looking at him expectantly. After awhile Matteo cleared his throat and said. “They got divorced a few years ago, and after that, our whole family sort of fell apart.” 

David still didn’t say anything and instead just kept looking at Matteo.

“My dad moved to Italy and I moved in with some other students.” Matteo continued. 

He ran a hand through his hair and then over his face as he said, “I don’t really talk to either of them anymore”

David gave him a look of sympathy. “I’m sorry” 

“Yeah well, it is what it is,” Matteo said and decided he didn’t want to talk about parents anymore. His voice had started to sound strained to his own ears and he really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of David. He turned back to the photograph instead, and looked at the much younger versions of Mr. and Mrs. Keller. 

“You’ve been living with Mr. and Mrs. Keller for a long time, right?” Thankfully his voice seemed to have gone back to normal.

David nodded and stepped away from the table he had been leaning against to look at the photo with Matteo. “Yeah, since I was about ten”

Matteo studied him for a few seconds before saying, “Must be weird, growing up in the spotlight like that”

David bit his lip “Yeah I guess,” he said and then shrugged and went back to leaning against the table again. “I don’t really have anything to compare it too though”

“That’s true” 

Matteo hadn’t really thought about it like that before. David had grown up in the spotlight, always attending galas, award shows and charity events. He had traveled all over the world and been to places Matteo couldn’t even dream about going. He and Matteo had had very different lives.

They stood in silence for a minute until David stood up straighter like he had just remembered something.

“Oh! I haven’t shown you the temperature scope”

  
  
  
  
  


When he had finished explaining the basic functions of the temperature scope to him, David turned to Matteo and said, “If there is anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask. Anything you need, I can get for you”

“I think I’m all set,” said Matteo and gave his computer bag a pat with his hand.

“Perfect,” David said and gestured with his arm to nothing in particular. “You can set up wherever you want, just move anything if it’s in the way”

Matteo nodded. 

David looked at him for a few more seconds and then rubbed his hands together. 

“So,” He said. “Should we get started?”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo scanned his biology text book for any important information. He had decided to spend his free period in the library too catch up on some homework, but instead found himself looking into more stuff concerning David’s research. 

He had spent three more evenings with David in the lab and each time it had gotten more and more clear how little he actually knew about biology.

Matteo felt this strange need to impress David and he didn’t really know why that was. He had spent three hours, before going to bed, reading up on the already existing studies that had been done in cell duplication. In the end he had only stopped because Hans had come in and told him that his endless tinkering with the keyboard was driving him crazy. 

There weren’t a lot of students in the library at the moment since most of them where in class, so Matteo had a whole table to himself. He had spread out his things all over it and had gotten a dirty look from the librarian that sometimes came by to put a book back on one of the shelves. 

“What are you reading about?” Came a voice behind him. He looked up from his textbook to find Amira bent over his book and peering at it. “RNA?” She said incredulously.

Matteo quickly closed his textbook. “No,” he said and picked up the paper for the homework assignment he was supposed to be doing. Amira held her hands up in surrender but she had a big teasing smile on her face. She walked to the other side of the table and sat down. 

Matteo continued with a math problem but stole a quick glance at Amire who still had a smile playing on her lips.

“What?” Matteo asked, annoyed. 

“Nothing, nothing,” said Amira as she too, picked up their math homework. Then she said, “I just think it’s funny how you’ve never showed any interest in biology whatsoever, but now that you’re hanging out with David…,” She trailed off. 

Matteo continued to give her an annoyed look and Amira continued to smile.

“ _ What? _ ” He repeated. 

Amira shrugged, “I just think it’s cute.” She looked up at him again and Matteo rolled his eyes. He could feel his cheeks heat up for no reason at all.

“It’s not like that,” Matteo said, and he meant it. David was really nice and he was obviously very good looking, but Matteo didn’t have more than friendly feelings for him.

Amira didn’t look convinced.

“Whatever,” he said and continued with his homework. He didn’t really have the motivation to argue with her nor did he really care what she thought.

Amira seemed pleased with this reaction and began working at her homework as well.

After a while Matteo said, ”You know, you’re really not one to talk because I know for a fact that you only signed up for fluid mechanics because Mohammed’s in that class.”

He met her gaze again and this time Amira was smiling no more. She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“No i didn’t. I’m  _ plenty _ interested in fluid mechanics,” she said in an almost threatening tone. 

Matteo let out a choked laugh and raised his eyebrows. “Sure you are,” he said sarcastically.

Amira continued to stare at him with a penetrating gaze but Matteo didn’t back down. After a few seconds Amira looked away. “Oh shut up,” she said and Matteo laughed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Matteo had told David about the programming that had to be done, he had said that it would be easy, but as he sat working on it now, late one sunday night, he started to realise that might not be so true. It seemed almost impossible to get the temperature scope to activate in the exact right moment to get the cells to cool down. Either it activated to early and ended up freezing the cells. Or it activated to early and made the cells burn up in a millisecond. 

“Sorry, this is taking so long,” Matteo said after almost an hour of silence.

David was bent over the metallic ring doing some kind of adjustments. 

Matteo had been at David’s lab six times the past weeks and he hadn’t made much progress with the temperature scope. He felt kind of guilty for not being able to do it faster and he also didn’t like the feeling of letting David down. Not that David had said anything about it.

David looked up in surprise at his words.

“Why would you be sorry?” He frowned and then said, “I’m the one that’s should be sorry for keeping you held up in here when you probably have better stuff to do,” He scooted closer to Matteo on his little office chair. His words soothed Matteo’s worries a little,but he still felt a bit guilty.

“It just a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Matteo said. Then addressed the last thing David had said. “And the only other thing I have to do is homework and this,” he pointed at the scope. “Is definitely better than that.” 

David didn’t seem convinced. 

“You know,” he said hesitantly.”I could probably get one of the Keller & Co. employees to help me if you’re having trouble with keeping up with school and-“ 

“No!” Matteo interrupted him, his voice high. He cleared his throat and tried again. “No, really it’s fine. I usually do my homework really late anyway and this is actually the first time in a long time that I’m actually  _ not  _ behind on it,” Matteo said, desperately not trying to be replaced. “Besides, my grade in biology is better than ever thanks to you.”

David studied him for a long time and Matteo shifted under his gaze. Matteo was scared that David would try to argue with him even more, but instead he said, “I’m really thankful for your help, Matteo.  _ Really _ ,” David sounded very sincere as he said it and Matteo felt a strange feeling in his stomach. 

He and David had spent a lot of time together during the past weeks and Matteo had started to think of David as a friend. When David first had asked him to come and help with the project, Matteo had mostly done it because it had felt really cool to help someone that was as successful as David Schreibner. But now that he had gotten to know David more, he had started to not think of him as a celebrity, but instead thought of him as a dorky scientist guy. And Matteo must say that he preferred dorky scientist guy over the celebrity persona he had made up in his head,every day of the week.

David was not only really intelligent, but he was also really funny. Matteo often found himself doubled over in laughter under their sessions in the lab. 

David also made Matteo himself feel intelligent and funny. David always laughed at his jokes and he always complimented Matteo’s work even if what he had done wasn’t that hard.

“It’s no problem,” Matteo said and felt his cheeks heat up. “I actually like helping you and it’s a really cool project.” The smile that David gave him was brighter than the sun.

_ No, it’s not a problem,  _ Matteo thought to himself, as he looked at David who went back to his work on the metallic ring.

_ It’s really no problem at all _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo and David were walking together through the cafeteria. It was David who had suggested they’d had lunch together and of course Matteo had agreed. They had just purchased their food and were now walking with their trays, searching for somewhere to sit.

The cafeteria was always really cramped because even though it was mainly for the students and teachers, other employees at Keller & Co. often ended up having lunch there.

“Matteo!” Came a voice from a table in the middle of the cafeteria.

Matteo looked over to find Jonas, Abdi and Carlos waving him over. 

He really wanted to avoid sitting with them now that David was with him and would much rather find a table for just the two of them. 

Matteo loved his friends but they could be real idiots sometimes, and he wasn’t sure his and David’s friendship was strong enough yet to survive their idiocy.

He hoped David hadn’t noticed them but of course he wasn’t that lucky.

“Should we go sit with you friends?” David asked and pointed to where the boys were seated.

Matteo pressed his lips together and then slowly said, “Sure.”

They walked over toward the boys and they all greeted them enthusiastically. 

“David! What’s up,” Carlos said. “How nice of you to join us”

Matteo gave the boys a look that he hoped conveyed,  _ do  _ not  _ embarrass me,  _ and sat down at the table with David. 

David smiled politely at them.

“So,” Jonas said. “How’s the research project going?” He took a bite of the hamburger that was on his plate and looked at David

“It’s going good actually!” David answered. “Matteo’s been helping me out a lot and he’s been a real life saver.”

Matteo flushed and focused on his food.

“That’s great” Jonas said. 

“What is it that you’re doing now again? Carlos asked 

David went on to explain the basics of the project and all the other three boys stared at him in awe as he spoke. Matteo knew how they were feeling. When David spoke about something he cared about it was almost impossible not to want to hang on to every word that came out of his mouth.

“So do you guys have any plans for your final project?” David asked the boys.

He first looked at Abdi but Abdi just stared at him with wide eyes without answering, so instead he turned to look at Carlos.

Carlos shrugged. “I haven’t really begun thinking about it yet,” he said. That didn’t surprise Matteo at all. As long as he had known him, Carlos had always been one not to think too far ahead. “But I’ll probably end up doing something about chemical engineering”

David nodded, “cool,” he said and then looked over at Jonas 

“And, you?”

Jonas nodded and struggled to swallow the food in his mouth. “ Yeah, I’m doing a research project in quarks and their effect on dark Materia.”

“Wow, that sounds really interesting,” David said and he sounded like he actually meant it.

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it”, Jonas said and smiled at David.

When Matteo listened to David and Jonas talk, he felt like two of his worlds were colliding. Jonas had been his best friend for almost two and a half years now and though he had only just recently started to hang out with David, he still considered him a close friend. Seeing Jonas and David get on and talk about their interest made him feel a warmth in his chest and he was suddenly glad that he and David had sat at their table. 

They all continued eating under comfortable silence.

After a while Abdi, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the whole exchange, spoke up and Matteo silently took back the thoughts about being happy that they had decided to eat lunch with them.

“Hey David, have you ever met Obama?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


One evening when they were working late in the lab, David said something so unexpectedly that Matteo almost choked on his own spit.

They had brought food from the little chinese restaurant close to Matteo’s apartment and had eaten it while swinging their legs from the lab tables. Then they had spent over an hour in a food coma and had both laid down next to each other on one of the tables. Matteo had been almost asleep when David had spoken.

“Hey, you know I’m trans right?” He hadn’t moved to look at Matteo as he said it, but instead kept his gaze firmly on the ceiling. Matteo did his best to not start coughing.

Matteo did know that David was trangender. David had been out to the public for several years now so it wasn’t really a secret. Other than being a biomedicine prodigy, David was also a big advocate for LGBT+ rights. He often organized fundraisers to raise money for LGBT+ youths and other charitable causes. It kind of made Matteo feel like crap about himself since he had done exactly zero for his community. If you didn’t count making out with random guys at parties which Matteo was pretty sure you didn’t. 

“I did,” he answered and kept staring at the ceiling. He could see David nod his head in the corner of his vision.

Matteo was about to say something more when David said. “Yeah, well. It isn’t exactly confidential information. But i just wanted to make sure you knew,” he tried to make it sound casual but Matteo could hear the nervousness in his voice that he had heard from David the first time he had approached him in school.

Matteo had always thought of David as someone with unwavering confidence. Not because David had ever acted bratty or like he was superior to anyone, but he just felt like someone that was comfortable with himself and didn’t really care about anyone else’s opinion of him. Matteo liked that about David because it meant that David was always himself. But hearing David speak now unleashed some feeling of relief in Matteo. Somehow that hint of uncertainty that was in David’s voice now, made Matteo like him even more. It made David feel more real and more like Matteo. 

Matteo once again started to think about something to say but he couldn’t come up with anything that wouldn’t sound incredibly cheesy. 

He and David continued to stare at the ceiling in silence and for Matteo it felt awkward, but Matteo had noticed that David didn’t really think of anything as awkward. He was to wrapped up in his own head to ever feel awkward and awkward silences didn’t really exist with him since David was constantly having a silent dialogue with himself. 

As if to prove Matteo right, David then started muttering something about mitosis. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Oh my god, David Schreibner is in our living room!”

Hans had just walked into the room and had spotted David on the couch with Matteo. They had been at the lab all afternoon and then Matteo had said he had to leave for game night with his roommates.

“You guys have game nights? That’s so sweet,” David had said and looked up from his work.

Matteo had nodded and hadn’t known if he would regret saying his next words.

“Yeah, but it’s been a while now,” he had hesitated a few seconds more. “Would you like to come?”

David had said no at first, claiming he didn’t want to impose and that he really should continue his work in the lab. Matteo had told him that he wouldn’t impose at all, and that it was already late and David had done enough for the day. 

David had put up some more effort, but had eventually agreed to come. Matteo hoped David didn’t regret that decision now as Hans stood staring at him in the doorway.

Linn and Mia stood behind him, peeking over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the person on their couch.

Matteo cringed a little at Hans’s words and silently prayed that Hans would regain some of his cool for the rest of the evening. He stood up and gestured to the three people in the doorway. 

“Um, David these are my roomates, Hans, Mia and Linn.”

David stood up and shook hands with all of them. He gave them all warm smiles and Hans looked about ready to pass out from it all. 

“I was thinking that David could join game night for today,” Matteo said.

“If that’s okay with you guys?” David said.

“Of course!” Hans squeaked. Mia and Linn nodded and gave him friendly smiles.

They decided to play Trivial Pursuit and divided up into two teams. Matteo, Hans and Mia against David and Linn. As it turned out, David was  _ really  _ competitive and it was something Matteo hadn’t noticed about him before. He was also extremely good at the game and answered almost every question correctly.

“How is it even possible that you know when Van Gogh was born?” Matteo asked with narrowed eyes.

David had a satisfied smirk on his face and shrugged. “I guess I’m just that smart,” he said and put a purple piece into the round game piece.

Matteo narrowed his eyes even more. “Not possible.” 

David laughed. “I was really into art when I was younger. I was basically obsessed with it and I even wanted to be an artist when I grew up,” he admitted.

It was weird for Matteo to imagine David doing anything else than biology. He was so dedicated to the subject that it was hard to see him being passionate about something else. Especially something so different as art. He remembered the doodles he had seen on David’s desk and wondered if it was still something David dreamed about doing.

They ended up having a really good time and Matteo was once again amazed at how easy David fit in with people. He never had to worry about it being uncomfortable or about David not having a good time. 

Hans didn’t make any other weird exclaims about David being there. He and David started to trash talk each other playfully and David and Linn got into deep discussions about their answers. Matteo watched it all happen with a smile on his face. He liked seeing David fit so perfectly into his life.

They finished the game and David and Linn won big time. Hans was a really sore loser and immediately started to ask for a rematch.

“I’m sorry, but I really need to get home,” David said apologetically and got up from his chair.

“Okay, but another time Schreibner. I’m not letting you get away that easily,” Hans said and pointed his finger at him.

“Do you really wanna go there?” David said and raised his eyebrows challengingly. “You know you’ll just lose again.”

Yeah, David was really a little shit when it came to games.

Hans brought his hand to his chest and faked being offended.

“My teammates ruined it for me!” He exclaimed and Mia elbowed him.

David laughed and got up from his chair.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Do you think you would still be into biology if it weren’t for your godparents?” Matteo asked as he and David made their way down a deserted street.

Matteo decided to walk David part of the way home after the game and they had only made it a few hundred meters until Matteo asked the question.

He still had the conversation about David’s art in his head. 

David was quiet for awhile and seemed to really think about his words. Finally he said, “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know if I would have ever been exposed to it in the same way as I have, if it weren’t for them.” He paused for a few more seconds before continuing. “But I know I really love it and there is nothing I would rather be doing.”

Matteo nodded. 

“You know,” David said. “It really bugs me when the Media portrays it as if my godparents forced me to attend their school and to pursue science.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Because it’s not true at all. Obviously my godparents love that I’m really into it, but they’ve never pushed me to do anything I wouldn’t want to do. Like with Laura, she isn’t interested in anything like that and they never once tried to steer her towards it. They have supported the two of us equally in everything we do.”

His voice had gotten more and more frustrated as he spoke, and his face had gotten a grim expression.

Matteo listened intently as he spoke. It was the first time that David had spoken about this. That being a public figure bothered him to some extent. When Matteo had asked him about it in the lab almost a month ago, he had dismissed the idea of it. But now Matteo was starting to think that maybe it bothered him more than he let on. It couldn’t be easy hearing people make assumptions about you when they didn’t even know you.

“Well, whoever thinks that,” Matteo said, wanting to lighten the mood. “Obviously haven’t met you. Or they would know that no one can fake being that nerdy or into biology.”

David’s face relaxed into a smile and he gave Matteo a nudge in the side.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo had a class in computer networking right before lunch and it was one of the classes he was enjoying the most so far this semester. It wasn’t a popular one so there was only Matteo and five other students in the class, which worked out great for him since he didn’t really like big classes anyway. 

A strange occurrence on this fine monday and a rather nice change, was that Matteo actually walked into the classroom five minutes early. The class actually started 10:15, but there he was 10:10, like a whole new man. There was only one other student in the classroom. A girl named Lisa who Matteo had never talked to during his two years at the school. He thought he might remember her being friends with Kiki but he couldn’t be sure. 

Lisa looked up from where she was already logged into one of the school computers. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” Matteo said and took a seat at the opposite side of the table so that Lisa was hidden between both of their computers. He grabbed his water bottle and notebook from his backpack and put them on the table. He used his student ID to log onto the computer and flipped through his notebook as the screen loaded. 

Lisa’s face appeared to the left of his screen and she gave him a thoughtful expression. She rested her chin in her hand and said, “You hang out with David Schreibner right?” It didn’t really sound like a question coming from her mouth but Matteo answered her anyway

“Yeah I suppose,” he said carefully. Then he added, “Or well I know him, like we’re friends and we-” he realised he was rambling nonsense and shut his mouth. 

It still surprised Matteo that people knew he and David were friends. In the beginning of their friendship they had pretty much only hung out in the lab but now they spent a lot of time at school together as well and he probably shouldn’t be shocked that the girl had seen them together. David would sometimes have lunch with Matteo and his friends in the cafeteria, they walked to their shared classes together and would talk to each other by their lockers.

Lisa gave him another scrutinizing stare before saying, “You and him are not together, right?” Matteo felt his cheeks heat up 

“No,” he managed in a choked voice. 

She nodded. “But do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” She continued. 

Matteo felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden. He didn’t want to talk about this at all, didn’t want to think about David seeing anyone, ever.

“What?” he said and he winced at how horrified he sounded when saying it. 

“Like, is he single?” 

She continued to stare at him and Matteo realized that he would actually have to answer her something. His mouth felt dry. 

He cleared his throat and tried to sound as casual as possible when answering. “I don’t think he is,” he said and then, when he realized his words didn’t really make anything clearer for her, he said, “ Seeing anyone that is. Or at least not that I know of.”

The thought made him sweat. What if David was seeing anyone without Matteo’s knowledge? It was possible right? Even though Matteo and David had spent most of their time together the past month, didn’t mean that David couldn’t be seeing someone. Maybe he had a hot partner off in Sweden that he hadn’t told Matteo about. Matteo tried to not let his thoughts continue to run wild.

Lisa was looking pleased with his answer and hadn’t seemed to notice Matteo’s internal freak out. “Great,” she said and disappeared behind the computers again as the rest of the students filed into the classroom.

  
  
  
  
  


Later that day, when Matteo was riding the elevator up to David’s floor, he thought about the conversation he had had with Lisa. He didn’t like the implication of the jealous feeling he had gotten when she implied that she wanted to ask David out. That feeling only meant trouble. 

He guessed he should’ve seen it coming. David was basically every person's dream, charming, intelligent, kind and attractive. Matteo wasn’t any more immune to those things than anyone else was and it had probably only been a matter of time before Matteo had fallen for him. And there was also the fact that David made Matteo feel seen and appreciated and just generally calm and happy whenever he was around him. 

During the past month his feelings for David had changed from ones of wonder and admiration to something much deeper that Matteo couldn’t put into words. David was so much more than what was presented in the media and Matteo felt incredibly lucky to have gotten to know him the way he had. He felt like David trusted him as much as he did David.

But David was still  _ way  _ out of Matteo’s league and there was literally no way that David would ever fall for someone like Matteo. There was also the fact that the thought of telling David about his feelings, also made Matteo want to puke, so that would definitely not be happening. Which meant that there really was no point dwelling on the whole thing anyway.

And there was also the fact that Matteo couldn’t live with knowing that Amira had been right all along. He could basically see her satisfied smirk in his head when she found out about his crush.

Matteo shook his head to clear his thoughts as he stepped out at the fifth floor. He passed the other research labs and made his way down the end of the hallway. He had just made up his mind that this whole feeling-things-for-David-thing, would pass and was definitely not worth risking their friendship for, when he opened the door to David’s lab and stepped in.

And then he spotted David and basically all the thoughts about continuing a platonic friendship, fell away in less than a second. 

David had fallen asleep at one of the lab tables a book still open before him. One hand was resting in the book and the other was stretched out over the table and was supporting David’s head. His impossibly long lashes rested against his cheeks and his lips were slightly parted.

Matteo had trouble breathing. 

David had always been beautiful, Matteo knew that and he had heard several people talk about his good looks around school, but in the last few weeks it was as if he had gotten hyper aware of David’s attractiveness. When he looked at him now, sleeping, Matteo’s heart speed up an embarrassing amount at the softness that was displayed on his face.

And it speed up even more when David sleepily blinked his eyes and looked up at Matteo with a apologetic smile. “Sorry, guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night,”he said. He let out a little laugh which might have been the most beautiful sound Matteo had ever heard. “Or the last month,” he continued. Matteo swallowed and nodded.

_ This might be starting to become a bit of a problem _ , Matteo thought as his heart continued performing circus acts in his chest. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas stayed silent and studied Matteo, then he said, “Is it David?”
> 
> Matteo let out a choking sound and then started coughing. “What?” He managed between coughs. 
> 
> “You can’t lie to me Luigi, I know you to well," Jonas said and took a drag from the joint. "And I know you like him”

Matteo and David were having their first argument in the history of their friendship. Well, it wasn’t as much of an argument as it was David, trying to get Matteo to leave the lab and go to a party.

It was Saturday night and Matteo had spent the majority of the day catching up on homework with Jonas in the library. After four hours of looking at equations, Matteo texted David to see if he was in the lab even though he already new the answer. Leonie Richter was having a party that night and Matteo had thought about going but now that thought didn’t seem intriguing at all. He would much rather spend a quiet evening helping David in the lab.

So that was where he was currently at, sitting on one of tables in the lab and reading some article about ATP, as David was desperately trying to drive Matteo out the door and to the party.

“You should go to the Party!” David was saying while looking through one of the microscopes. “Didn’t you decided to go to this several weeks ago?”

David had his lab coat and safety goggles on and was in the process of adding some weird looking substance to a small plastic square with a pipette.

Matteo took him in. He studied the soft slope of his nose, the slight parting of his lips and the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

He had a smudge of something on his cheek, probably some oil from the temperature scope, and Matteo pictured himself reaching forward and wiping it away with his hand.

David looked up from his work and Matteo realized that he hadn’t answered David’s question since he had been to busy staring at him.

 _What had they been talking about, again?_ He blinked a few times to clear his head

“I didn’t decide anything,” Matteo finally said, and then shrugged. “And even if I did, I’m allowed to change my mind.”

Any hope that his feelings for David had been a one time occurrence had been obliterated the week following his encounter with Lisa, since everything David did, seemed to get to Matteo in a way that it hadn’t before.

He would blush whenever David gave him a compliment about his work, and whenever David smiled he would turn into a gooey mess. David hadn’t seemed to notice though, which he guessed was a good thing.

“You’re missing out on the teenage experience! It’ll do you no good to be kept up in here with me every night,” David said, ignoring Matteo’s words.

Matteo scoffed. “You’re one to talk, you’ve never been to a party in your whole life”

David looked up from the microscope and furrowed his eyebrows.

“That’s not true ,” He said and pointed the pipette in his hand at Matteo. “I got to parties all the time.”

Matteo rolled his eyes at this. “Fancy dinner parties with your godparents do not count,” he said.

“Sure they do,” David said and then put down the pipette and took off his safety goggles. “Come on Matteo, go to the party,” he said in a pleading voice. Then he gestured out the window as if to point in the direction of the party. “You never know what you might be missing out on. What if you were to meet a girl there?”

“I’m gay”

David didn’t miss a beat.

“A boy then!”

Matteo rolled his eyes again and tried to appear annoyed but on the inside he was feeling all sorts of emotions. He had known that David wouldn’t think the fact that he was gay was a big deal, so that wasn’t why he felt upset all of a sudden. He felt upset because, when hearing this news, David didn’t seem at all bothered at the idea of Matteo dating a guy that wasn’t him.

Matteo didn’t know why he said the words he said next, because if he didn’t want to talk about his _own_ dating life, he definitely didn’t want to talk about _David’s_ dating life.

“Well, you’ll never find anyone either, being locked up in here all day long.”

David snorted. “Me, dating?” He shook his head. “I would never have time for any of that.”

“Never?” Matteo asked. He really didn’t know why he was doing this to himself. 

David had put on his safety goggles again and continued working with his pipette. When he answered Matteo, his voice was full with feeling. “This work means more to me than anything. I would never have time to date someone as well.” He shook his head a little to himself and continued, “I don’t think I could ever prioritize a person over my work, it’s just too important to me.” He looked up at Matteo. “And it just wouldn’t be fair to that person. Boy or girl.”

Matteo nodded his head slowly as if he understood David’s words, and he did in a way. But they also felt like a punch to his stomach. It hurt just as much as the other times David had said something that clearly hinted that he didn’t have any sort of romantic feelings toward Matteo. He should be used to it by now. This was just another reminder that there was never gonna be a future for him and David. At least not the one that Matteo had hoped for.

He decided to change the subject.

“Okay let me give you this then,” he said and then pointed to himself, “ _I_ will go to the party if _you_.” He pointed to David. “Come with me,”

David snorted just like Matteo knew he would and then said, “No way,” just like Matteo knew he’d say.

Matteo smiled and put his feet up on a chair and leaned back against the wall.

“Guess I’m staying here then.”

  


When Matteo had come out to Hans about a year ago he hadn’t really planned it at all. They had been watching a movie in the living room, some cheesy romcom, and it had been only the two of them. Mia had been out with her friends and Linn had just started her new internship and was working late. Jonas, Carlos and Abdi were having a few beers at Jonas’s place and had asked Matteo to come. Matteo had been having a sort of rough time at that point and hadn’t really felt like socializing to much, even if it was just with the boys. So he had found himself seated next to Hans on their living room sofa this fine Saturday night. 

They had reached the climax of the movie and the main character was sobbing away in a Taxi. Matteo hadn’t looked away from the TV when he said the words.

“Hans?”

Hans had made a humming sound.

“I think I’m gay”

Being Hans of course meant that he had had a perfect reaction. He had smiled at Matteo and told him how proud he was over him and that if he ever needed to talk he could always come to him.

And that had been that. Matteo had come out to someone for the first time in his life and nothing terrible had happened. The world wasn’t coming to an end and life continued as usual. A few months later he had come out to Jonas, and a week after that he had come out to the rest of the boys. Jonas had reacted similarly to Hans with a loving smile and words of encouragement. Abdi and Carlos had also taken it well but they had been definitely more shocked than the other two. 

Matteo had felt such immense relief every time he had come out, but coming out to Hans had been special, because it was the first time he had ever acknowledged his feelings out loud. 

He and Hans hadn’t really talked about it since that night, because it had never really become relevant

It wasn’t as if either of them were ignoring it, there just wasn’t much else to say about it. Matteo hadn’t needed any advice and there wasn’t as if he had any boys to tell Hans about. It just hadn’t come up and they hadn’t had a proper conversation about it since.

Until today.

Hans was seated in the kitchen when Matteo walked through the door of the apartment. He had been at the lab with David all afternoon and things had actually gone okay for once. But Matteo still felt exhausted when he came home.

He walked into the kitchen and collapsed on one of the chairs at their kitchen table. 

Hans who had been scrolling through his phone while eating lasagna, looked up at him and asked, “Where have you been?”

Matteo shrugged

“At the lab with David”

Hans raised his eyebrows and nodded his head while he continued scrolling through his phone. “Ah, of course.” Hand said it in a tone that indicated he wanted to say more, but he stayed quiet.

“What?” Matteo asked. 

Hans shrugged.

“It’s just that you’ve been spending a lot of time together, right?”

“Yeah?” Matteo said carefully. He didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“I just think it’s nice,” Hans said and looked up at him with an innocent smile.

Matteo frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you like him don’t you?” Hans said it casually as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Matteo felt himself tense up.

How could Hans tell that Matteo had feelings for David? It’s not like he had spent any time with them since Matteo realized his feeling for David, and even if he had, surely Matteo wasn’t that obvious.

He thought back to the game night they had and tried to skim his memory for anything that may have hinted at his feelings for David. He couldn’t come up with anything but what did he know? Maybe he had spent the whole evening ogling David. Maybe Matteo had liked David longer than he himself had realized.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Matteo sputtered and avoided eye contact with Hans.

He desperately hoped that Hans couldn’t see the blush that he could feel spreading from his face to his neck.

Hans put his phone down and looked at him with kind eyes.

“Look, Matteo you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I’m here for you _and_ that you can talk to me”

Matteo considered Hans words. 

The feelings he had for David felt big and scary and Matteo really had no idea what to do about them. And the thought of telling Hans about them didn’t seem like such a bad idea. He _was_ his gay guru after all.

“Okay, I do sort of have feeling for him,” he said and bit his lip. “But you can’t tell anyone,” he then added hastily.

“Of course not.” Hans smiled reassuringly. He picked up his glass of water and brought it to his mouth. “I’m guessing you haven’t talked to him about it,” he said and eyed Matteo thoughtfully.

Matteo snorted 

“But what if he feels the same way?”

Matteo shook his head. “I already know that he doesn’t”

“How can you be sure?” Hans insisted.

“Well for example, when I came out to him he basically tried to kick me out of the lab and told me to go to a party and try to get a boyfriend,” Matteo said bitterly.

Matteo looked away from Hans and ran a hand through his hair. He suddenly felt the annoying urge to cry. 

He had been trying to tell himself that it wasn’t that big of a deal and that being friends with david was enough, and really it was. He thought that just like with Jonas, the feelings would slowly but surely go away and then he could continue his life as usual without having his heart stop whenever David smiled at him or laughed at one of his jokes. But as time went on, Matteo realized that this time it was different. The feelings that he had felt for Jonas were nothing like the feelings that he had for David. With David, Matteo felt like he was constantly up in the air soaring through the sky. He felt like he could to anything he wanted, be anyone he wanted, and he knew the feelings he had for David weren’t about to go away. 

Hans sighed. “Look Matteo, I don’t know if David likes you in that way or if he ever will like you in that way,” Matteo wondered if these words were supposed to be uplifting and gave Hans a skeptical look. 

Hans continued, “But obviously David cares about you a whole lot. Why else would he put up with your annoying ass?”

That made Matteo let out short laugh.

Hans got serious again and put his hand over Matteo’s. “And that should count for something, right?” Hans said softly.

Matteo nodded slowly. He knew that Hans was right. David was an amazing guy and Matteo was really lucky to be friends with him. He really didn’t wanna lose this friendship even if it meant that he would spend the rest of it hopelessly in love. 

Hans released Matteo’s hand and cut up another piece of lasagna and picked it up with his fork. Right before he put the piece in his mouth he stopped and looked at Matteo with a teasing smile and said “So, David Schreibner, huh?” 

Matteo let out a frustrated groan.

  


“You know you don’t really need me anymore right?” Matteo said as he sat on one of the chairs in the lab. He was playing with one of David’s pens that was filled with erasable ink. 

It was nearly ten in the evening and Matteo knew he should probably get going because it was his turn to clean the kitchen and he was already three days late on doing it. It was only a matter of time before Mia left a passive aggressive note to remind him. 

He looked up from playing with his pen to where David was working hard at one of the tables. He had the tip of his tongue stuck out from his mouth in concentration.

Matteo had now been helping David for almost two months in the lab but had finished the programming that needed to be done over two weeks ago. 

But David still asked him to come and help him and Matteo still continued to say yes.

He never did anything useful though. Once in a while David would need an extra pair of hands with something or ask Matteo to go and grab something for him from one of the cupboards, but mostly Matteo just sat and watched as David worked.

David looked up at Matteo as if he hadn’t considered this before. His eyes went a little wide.

“It’s totally okay if you want to leave or don’t wanna help out anymore,” David said.

“No, no that’s not what i meant,” Matteo said hastily, not wanting David to get the wrong idea of what he was trying to say. “I just feel like I’m slowing you down and aren’t really contributing to the project much,” Matteo said and rolled the pen back and forth on the table.

David shrugged.

“Yeah, but I like having you around,” he said and continued on with what he was doing.

Of course Matteo would much rather have David say that the reason he kept asking Matteo for help was because he was madly in love with him and couldn’t stand the thought of not being near him at least four hours of every day, but he guessed that might be too much to ask for. But still, it was nice to at least hear that David liked his company. When it came to David, Matteo would take anything.

Matteo smiled at him and continued to look on as David worked.

  


”I can tell something is bothering you, Matteo,” his therapist, Susanna, said.

He hadn’t been to see her in a while because he felt like it didn’t really do much for him anymore. He had gotten a lot better since his first year at Kellers and it had been a really long time since he had experienced an episode. Still, he knew it was important to keep up with his sessions so that he could continue to do well. Therefore he found himself at Susanna’s office, Tuesday after school. 

David had asked him if he wanted to help him in the lab but Matteo had made up some excuse about having to go grocery shopping with Hans. He wasn’t ready to tell David about seeing a therapist. That conversation would just open up a million others, about all the things that were wrong with Matteo. He didn’t want David to look at him and see the total fuck up that he actually was. Then Matteo really would have no chance at all with him. Not that he seemed to have a chance anyway. Which was kind of the reason he was at his therapists in the first place.

“Is it your parents?” Susanna asked.

Matteo thought that Susanna’s favorite topic to talk about had to be his parents. Every time he went to see her she would always find a way to bring them up, and every time Matteo would try to find a way to not talk about them. It didn’t usually work though, since most of his problems were connected with the shitty relationship he had with his parents. So she did get her way a few times, since he knew that if he wanted to get better he would have to deal with the source of the problem. 

This usually resulted in an hour long session where Susanna tried to ask him questions about them and Matteo would nod or shake his head and try to say as little as possible. Just because Matteo knew it was for the best didn’t mean was easy for him.

But this was one of the few times that the source of the problem weren’t his parents. This time it was someone else entirely. This time the source was a boy with long lashes, red cheeks and an extremely nerdy personality.

He couldn’t believe that he was about to talk about boy problems with his therapist.

Matteo shook his head at Susanna’s question. 

“Um… it’s actually something else,” he paused and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Susanna waited patiently for him to continue. “It’s about someone I like. A boy.”

Matteo had come out to Susanna about a year prior. It had made most of their sessions a lot easier now that he didn’t have to hide such a big part of himself. He had even ended up telling her about his crush on Jonas and she was the one who had really helped him sort through his feelings. 

Matteo actually liked Susanna and he thought she was a good therapist. He had shared most of his personal problems with her and he almost always felt better after seeing her. In the beginning, Matteo had been to see her once a week and they had spent countless of hours talking about the time before he had moved out from his mom’s place. She was one of the few people that Matteo had told everything to. Or almost everything. There were still things that he had done during that time, that he hadn’t told anyone about. 

But even though Matteo liked her, there were times, when he had one of his bad days, that he wished she would just stop bringing certain things up and that she really got on his nerves. He would get snappy with her even though she was just asking casual, none invading, questions, and he had even ended up leaving right in the middle of a session a few times. He knew that wasn’t fair since she was only doing her job but Matteo couldn’t really think rationally during these times. 

Today was different though, he actually really wanted her help to sort out this mess.

“Okay,” Susanna said and nodded slowly. “Is this boy someone from school?” 

She crossed her legs and adjusted her glasses.

“Yeah,” Matteo said and picked up a stress ball from the table beside his chair. He turned the ball around a few times in his hands before continuing.

“A boy from school,” he said. He left it at that.

He knew there was a high possibility that Susanna knew who David so he decided to not tell her his name. It didn’t really seem fair to expose David if he was going to talk about some of the more personal conversation they had had.

He told her about the project they were working on together and about how he had started to develop feelings for David and about the conversation they had about relationships.

“But he doesn’t like me in that way and I guess…” He didn’t really know how to finish that sentence without sounding like a complete idiot. “I guess I’m having problems being around him without feeling like my chest is going to explode,” Matteo finished and leaned back in his chair with a sigh. 

Susanne looked at him for a few seconds before she spoke.

“Having unrequited feelings for someone, can be really hard to deal with.”

 _No shit,_ Matteo thought and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“But we can’t force someone to fall in love with us, Matteo. This boy seems like a very nice guy and a very good friend to you.”

“He is,” Matteo said quietly and fiddled with the ball in his hand. 

Susanne studied him for a few seconds again but Matteo didn’t meet her gaze. He saw, in the corner of his vision, how she put the notebook, she had been writing in, down on the table.

“If you feel like it’s too hard to maintain a friendship with him, maybe it’s for the best that you spend some time apart, until you feel comfortable again. But I also want to tell you this, Matteo.” She leaned forward in her chair. “Being in love can be amazing, but friendships are just as important as romantic relationships,” Matteo looked up to meet her gaze. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.” She leaned back in her chair. “And you never know how the future will turn out.”

Her words reminded him so much of what Hans had said to him and Matteo knew both of them were right. Having David in his life, even if it would only ever be as a friend, was worth the heartache he was currently experiencing. It didn’t matter if this thing with David would never go anywhere further. He also knew that he didn’t really want to take some time apart from him so that option was out of the question. 

He looked down at his lap, where his hands were still playing with the ball, and nodded.

Susanna waited a few seconds longer before picking up her notebook again front the table.

“So let’s talk some more about your parents,” she said and adjusted herself in her chair.

Matteo didn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes this time.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“The impossible has happened!” Alex announced and spread his arms as David and Matteo walked through the door of his apartment. “David Schreibner is attending a party.”

David rolled his eyes at him as he took of his jacket. 

The room was once again filled with students from the Keller _Gymnasium_ and Matteo recognized several of his fellow seniors who all seemed to be having a good time. 

“I can’t believe you convinced him to come, Matteo,” Sara said as she came up to stand beside Alex.

“Believe me, it wasn’t easy,” Matteo said.

“The important thing is that he’s here now,” Alex said and put an arm around David’s shoulder. “Now, let us get you something to drink.”

The two of them walked toward the kitchen which meant that Matteo was left alone with Sara. An awkward silence filled the space between them as Matteo tried to think of something to say.

The thing was, Matteo had always kinda had the feeling that Sara was into him and it meant that he always felt really uncomfortable whenever they were alone together. Not that anything had ever happened between them, but she always laughed really loud at Matteo’s jokes and always found excuses to touch him. 

“Do you wanna dance?” Sara asked and gestured to the dance floor.

Matteo hesitated. “Um…” He tried to come with some excuse to get out of the situation.

Sara rolled her eyes. “I’m not gonna try anything Matteo. I know that you’re not into me.”

“Oh,” he said surprised. 

“And David’s one of my best friends anyway so it would be a really shitty thing to do anyway,” she said. She grabbed Matteo’s arm and dragged him onto the dance floor.

As they danced, Matteo couldn’t stop thinking of her words. Why would making a move on Matteo be a shitty thing to do to David? Him and Matteo weren’t together? Shouldn’t David be happy if two of his friends got together?

Matteo tried to not get too lost in his thoughts and tried to focus on the rhythm of the music instead as he danced. It didn’t really work though. He looked around to see where David had ended up and spotted him the kitchen.

It had taken a lot of pleading and coaxing for David to finally to be convinced to come to the party. He had tried to get out of it by saying that he really had to spend the night in the lab but then Matteo had pointed out that David couldn’t really do anything at the moment because he was still waiting for new material. David couldn’t really argue with that but that didn’t mean that he hadn’t tried.

“I just don’t think I’m going to end up having a good time,” he had said in an attempt to get out of it.

“How can you say that when you haven’t even once gone to a party?”

David hadn’t seemed to be able to come up with a reply to that so he had remained quiet.

“Look, if you don’t like it, we can go home or to the lab or whatever,” Matteo had said. “ I just think you might have more fun than you think you will. And I know that your friends would be really happy if you came.”

Matteo hadn’t really been excited about the party either, but his friends had started to complain about him never coming along anymore. So he had decided to make the most of the situation and drag David along with him. 

David had sighed and then agreed to come and at least try to have fun.

It didn’t seem as if he had to try that hard though because when Matteo looked over at him now, he could see David laughing hysterically at something Mohammed Razzouk was saying.

Matteo tried not to stare at them to much as he danced.

  
  
  


Matteo was leaning over the bar counter in Alex’s kitchen, when Amira made her way over to him. She had a red cup in her hand and she leaned down to mirror Matteo’s position. 

“Hey,” she said. 

Matteo barely cast her a glance when he answered her, “Hey,”

He looked back to where he had been staring at David, who was talking to one of their classmates. When Amira didn’t say anything else, he looked over at her. She met his eyes with hers.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at a party,” she said.

Matteo shrugged. “I’ve had better things to do,” he said and looked back at David. It was sulking hours up in here.

Amira followed his gaze and then said, “no progress on the pining front, huh?”

Matteo didn’t even bother denying it. He felt he really didn’t care if Amira knew about his crush or not. It was probably a testament to how drunk he was.

He took a swig of his bear. “Not, really,” he said. He looked over to the dance floor to where Mohammed was dancing with a few of his friends, and then over to Amira again. “And you?”

Amira took a swig of the liquid in her cup and then pressed her lips together. “Nope,” she said.

They stood in silence for a minute and Matteo looked over at David again. He looked really good tonight. He was wearing one of his genuine smiles, one that lit up his whole face, and Matteo couldn’t help but wish that it was directed at him and not at the person David was currently talking to. 

He snorted at himself.

Amira looked over at him and looked at him as if she knew exactly what he had been thinking. She let out a short laugh and then said, “We really are pathetic, aren’t we?”

“Yep,” Matteo answered and ran a hand through his hair. 

He raised his beer bottle in Amiras direction. “Here’s to being hopelessly and pathetically in love.”

Amira raised her glass and knocked them together. 

  
  


After almost three hours of dancing and drinking, Matteo and David found themselves sitting on the balcony in Alex’s bedroom.. 

For being someone who probably hadn’t had more than two glasses of champagne to drink in one night, David could handle a lot of alcohol. But even he didn’t seem to be able to handle the countless number of shots they had drunk tonight. His words were a little slurred as he spoke to Matteo

Matteo looked at David as he spoke and leaned his head against the wall behind him. David wasn’t looking at him and was instead turned toward the street below them. This meant that Matteo could get away with letting his eyes linger on David. David’s cheeks were flushed from the alcohol, his hair messy and all Matteo wanted to do was to bury his hands in it and pull him close.

“I sometimes feel like I’ll never live up to everyone’s expectations of me,” David was saying.

Matteo stared at him and tried to focus on the actual conversation instead of imagining what David’s hair would feel like between his fingers.

“What are you talking about? You’ve already done more than probably any other 18 year old in the country,” Matteo said. He could tell that his words were a bit slurred as well.

David stared off into the night with a solemn expression on his face.

“It still doesn’t feel like enough though”

This was the second time that David had ever shown any kind of sign that he struggled with having grown up in the spotlight. Matteo tried to come up with something to say that would make him feel better.

“Imagine how I feel then, I haven't amounted to anything big in my life”

At this, David turned his head and looked at Matteo.

“Are you kidding me?,” he said. “You’re like one of the smartest people I know”

Matteo scoffed. “Yeah right” 

David turned so that his whole body was facing Matteo. “I mean it, Matteo,” he said. “I could never had done the things you’ve done on the project even though I have taken almost as many programming classes as you”

Matteo didn’t say anything because he knew that it was true. David was worthless when it came to programming. 

David looked at Matteo as if he was searching his face for some answer he didn’t have. 

“You wanna know why I asked you to help me with the project instead of some employee?” He asked.

Matteo didn’t answer him but gave David a nod to indicate that he should continue.

“Because I could tell that you liked programming as much as I like biology,” David said. “You talked so passionately about it that night at the opening and I really liked that. You’re not just doing it because you have to, you’re doing it because you care.”

David had never told Matteo this and he could feel his cheeks heat up.

“You’re a very special person Matteo Florenzi,” David said and didn’t break eye contact. “And don’t you ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

He spoke the words so softly that it made Matteo’s insides turn to goo. The butterflies in his stomach were worse than they had ever been.

Matteo swallowed and nodded. David reached out a hand and brushed away the hair on Matteo’s forehead.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” David whispered and continued to hold Matteo’s gaze. It was so intense that Matteo wanted to look away but he found that he couldn’t. 

Right there and then, David was the only thing in the universe. He _was_ the whole universe.

The hand that had brushed Matteo’s hair away, instead went to gently run over his cheek. The eyes that were looking at Matteo was filled with something that made blood roar in his ears. 

He knew that he had stopped breathing.

Everything that happened next went by so fast that Matteo didn’t know if he had imagined it or not. He thought he could see David move toward him and see his eyes flicker to Matteo’s lips but the next second Abdi came tripping out on the balcony and David and Matteo jumped apart.

Abdi was followed by Carlos and Jonas. Jonas gave Matteo an apologetic smile when he saw him and David. 

“Guys! You’re not going to believe what happened between me and Sam,” Abdi said and he was slurring even more than David had been.

“What?” Matteo asked and hoped no one noticed the red on his cheeks.

“She was all over me on the dance floor,” Abdi said and sat down on the floor of the balcony. The other two boys followed his lead.

“Okay, that’s not exactly true,” Carlos said and jumped into a story of what had happened.

Matteo tried to focus on his worlds but his ears were still ringing from the moment between him and David. Matteo desperately hoped that he didn’t read to much into it. He silently cursed the boys for interrupting whatever he and David were about to do. 

He looked at David to see if he was as affected as Matteo was. David was looking at Carlos and seemed to be listening intensely. Matteo thought he might see a slight redness on his cheeks but it might as well be from the alcohol he had consumed. Other than that he didn’t show any sign of being flustered. Matteo blinked and looked away. 

He focused on the story Carlos was telling because if he spent one more second imagining what could have happened if the boys hadn’t interrupted him and David, Matteo thought he might go crazy.

  
  
  
  


Hey.” Jonas nudged him with his foot. “You alright?”

Matteo and Jonas were seated behind the Quantum mechanics building passing a joint between them. It was chilly outside, and people were saying that it would snow later this week. 

Matteo couldn’t stop thinking about David and hadn’t been paying much attention to what Jonas had been talking about. Something about quarks, he thinks. 

“Yeah, sorry,” he said and tried to clear his thoughts. “What were you saying?”

Jonas stayed silent and studied Matteo, then he said, “Is it David?”

Matteo let out a choking sound and then started coughing. “ What?” He managed between coughs. 

“You can’t lie to me Luigi, I know you to well," Jonas said and took a drag from the joint. "And I know you like him”

Matteo thought about denying it but couldn’t see the point. Jonas was right, he did know him, and Matteo kind of wanted to keep it that way. He stared of into the distance where he could see people walking across the big complex. Some were running, probably late to a meeting or some other appointment. Some were walking with their colleagues and were, it seemed to Matteo, in heated discussions.

He took a drag of the joint and held it in for a few seconds before breathing it out. “yeah,” he said. “I do” 

“Have you told him?”

Matteo let out a short laugh. “No”

“Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t matter how I feel,” he could hear the bitterness in his own voice. “David has been pretty clear about where he stands. He doesn’t want a relationship with me or anyone else.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Jonas said and looked at Matteo with a look that made Matteo feel like Jonas’s knew something Matteo didn’t.

“What do you mean?”

Jonas shrugged. “I think he might feel the same way, is all.” he took another drag and stared off into the distance with a thoughtful expression. “It’s something about the way he looks at you. It’s different from how he looks at everyone else.”

Matteo felt like someone was squeezing his heart. He desperately wanted Jonas’s words to be true but also didn’t want to get too hopeful. 

“I’m just saying,” Jonas said after a minute. “It might worth talking to him about it”

Matteo pondered this. If he told David about his feeling and David reciprocated those feelings… Matteo couldn’t even imagine how amazing it would be. But if David didn’t feel the same as Matteo… Matteo could end up losing David and everything they had. He couldn’t risk it. 

“yeah, okay” Matteo said even though he knew he would never go through with it. 

  


“Do you like Jonas?”

David’s words took him by such surprise that he stopped walking. 

Matteo had spent another afternoon catching up on some homework with Jonas in the library. Or that had been the plan but Matteo had fallen asleep with his face in a book about thirty minutes in and had only woken up when Jonas had thrown a pen at him over an hour later. David had met up with them and he and Matteo had been on their way to the lab when David suddenly asked the question. 

“What?” Matteo said, eyes wide.

David shrugged and didn’t meet his eyes.

“You spend a lot of time together is all”

 _Not as much as I do with you,_ Matteo thought. Out loud he asked, “Where is this even coming from?”

David shrugged again. “I was just wondering.” He continued walking and after a few seconds Matteo followed him

The whole conversation had thrown Matteo for a loop and he didn’t know at al what to make of it. David and him hadn’t talked about dating since that day that Matteo came out to him. 

He wanted to believe it was a good sign that David had asked him about Jonas, but with David he could never be sure. 

David had been very clear that he wasn’t looking for a relationship whether it was with Matteo or with anyone else. But it was things like this that made Matteo question what David had said. And this added with what Jonas had said about David, made Matteo more confused than ever.

Matteo looked at David but the boy had a blank expression on his face.

“I do not like Jonas,” Matteo said slowly

“Okay,” David said. “Great”

Matteo had no Idea what to make of that. 

  
  


The students of the Keller _Gymnasium_ were all seated next to the other associates of Keller and Co. in the schools biggest auditorium. Everyone was nicely dressed in suits and dresses, as they all watched the people on the stage. 

Mr. and Mrs. Keller were both up there with four other people. 

Every year Keller and Co. gave out awards to four of their employees they thought had contributed greatly to the company’s success or development. The evening always started in the auditorium where they all got to walk up on the stage and receive their award and then listen to Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s speech about the importance of innovative thinking and research. After that, the attendees were escorted to a big room that had been decorated to look like a ballroom and they received a very fancy dinner. It was a popular event and one that many of the students looked forward to during the year and one you didn’t want to miss. But it seemed as if one student didn’t really care if they missed it or not.

Matteo looked around to see if David was somewhere in the audience but he knew that it was pointless. If David wasn’t on stage it meant that he wasn’t there at all, since he was supposed to stand next to Mr. and Mrs. Keller as they handed out the awards.

“What’s wrong?” Jonas asked as he watched Matteo crane his neck to watch behind him.

They were seated next to each other in one of the front rows with the rest of their friends. 

“David isn’t here,” Matteo whispered back.

Jonas cast a look around the audience but didn't seem to find him either. 

He turned back to Matteo.

“Have you texted him?” 

Matteo nodded. “He’s not answering”

“I’m sure everything is fine,” Jonas said reassuringly. “Something else probably came up.”

Matteo nodded as if he agreed but he still couldn’t relax. 

David had been acting strange the past two weeks and had been missing several days of school, which really wasn’t like him.

Matteo had kind of gotten the feeling that David was avoiding him. But that was probably just Matteo being paranoid because he couldn’t think of a reason for David to be doing it. They hadn’t fought or had any kind of an argument.

But still, something was definitely going on. Matteo had asked David about it but he had just dismissed it and said that he was only stressed about the project since it hadn’t really been going great for the past weeks. 

They hadn’t been making much progress and the cells still couldn’t survive more than a few milliseconds before dying and David had been growing increasingly more frustrated each day they couldn’t get it to work.

He cast a look toward the stage again as if David would just suddenly walk out from behind the stage. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jonas said. “I’m sure he’ll text back soon.”

Matteo nodded and gave Jonas a smile before turning his attention back towards the stage.

But David didn’t text back soon, and three hours later Matteo still hadn’t heard anything from him. 

They had gotten to the dinner part of the evening and everyone had been randomly seated at the tables. Which meant that Matteo wasn’t sitting with any of his friends and therefore actually had to put energy into having a conversation with the other people at his table. He tried listening to the researcher he had on his left but found himself get lost on his thought about David’s whereabouts time after time. 

Matteo looked towards the table where Mr. and Mrs. Keller were seated. They didn’t seem to be worried at all about David not being there and where happily chatting away with their seated neighbors. Did they know where David was? Had they heard from him? 

After a while he excused himself from the table and went out of the room and clicked call on David’s contact. It went to voicemail.

“Still no answer?” Jonas walked up to him with his hands with his pockets. He must have seen Matteo leave the room and followed him.

Matteo shook his head. “He haven’t even read the texts.” He said and worried at his bottom lip with his thumb. 

“Think you know where he is?” Jonas asked.

There was only one place David could be.

He nodded.

Jonas smiled at Matteo.

“Then, go to him”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo found David exactly how he thought he would: in the lab, bent over the metallic thing as he adjusted things on its control panel.

Matteo walked inside and leaned against the table opposite the one David was working at and crossed his arms. “So how’s it going?” He asked casually.

David didn’t even look up from his work as he answered Matteo. ”Fine, I just have to fix a few things” he said. He sounded distracted and stressed. He went over to a cupboard in the corner to get something and stopped short when he finally looked at Matteo. “Why are you dressed up?” He asked in confusion.

Matteo couldn’t believe he was being serious. 

“The award ceremony?” He said and looked at David with wide eyes. “Remember?” When David still didn’t react he added, “You were supposed to be there and hand the awards out.”

David scrunched up his face.”Was that tonight?” 

He still sounded like he wasn’t entirely present in the conversation.

“Yes!” Matteo said, exasperated. _What was going_ on?

“What time is it?”David said and looked up at Matteo where he was still leaning against the table.

“Eleven,” Matteo answered and ran a hand through his hair.

“Oh,” was all David said and then he walked back at the control panel and continued working. 

“What is going on with you?” Matteo asked in an incredulous tone and shook his head. David had always been really passionate about his project but it had never been _this_ extreme.

“Nothing!” David said defensively. “I’ve just really had to work on the project.” He said and shrugged.

“Well you need to stop,” Matteo said and pushed away from the table so he was no longer leaning against it. “You haven’t left this place in days. You’ve been missing all your classes.” He could hear his voice getting higher but he didn’t care. David was acting weird and Matteo needed to make him understand that he couldn’t continue like this.

“But I’m making progress,” David said like that would excuse him from not going to school.

“Yeah but _this_ ,” Matteo pointed to where David was standing, “is not healthy, David”

David dropped the screwdriver he had been using with a loud thud on the table and let out a frustrated sound. 

“Why are you being so difficult about this all of a sudden?” David asked and he too, was obviously getting annoyed because he had raised his voice to match Matteo’s.

Everything felt off. Him and David rarely had any types of arguments and they _never_ shouted at each other. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

“Because I care about you,” Matteo said and lowered his voice so that David could understand that he really didn’t want to argue with him.

David brought his hand to his face and pinched his nose. He breathed out. Matteo looked at him for a few second before he said, in a much gentler tone than before, “I know there is something else going on. It’s not just the research that’s making you like this.”

David looked away and sighed. All the frustration seemed to run out of him and he slumped against the table.

“Please,” Matteo pleaded. “Talk to me.”

David looked at him and then shook his head a little as if to clear his thoughts. He ran a hand over his face and then said, in a quiet voice, “I’ve just been confused over a lot of things lately.”

When he looked at Matteo, something in his eyes were different from before. Matteo felt like David was staring into his soul. He could feel his heart rate speed up.

“Confused about what?” Matteo’s voice was no louder than a whisper

David didn’t answer and instead just continued looking at Matteo. There was a tension between them that had never been there before and Matteo was scared that if he did anything, it would disappear before he had the chance to figure out what it was. 

Then, so fast that Matteo didn’t even have time to react, David took two steps forward and kissed him.

Matteo was so surprised at first, that he froze, but when David’s hands found their way to his waist he melted against the touch and started to kiss him back. He brought his hands up to tangle in David’s hair as David backed Matteo up so that his back was pressed against the lab table. Every thought that had been going through his head before David had kissed him was long gone.

Matteo had fantasized about kissing David for over a month but he could never have imagined how it would feel to actually have David’s lips move against his. He felt like every inch of him was on fire and the more he kissed David, the more it felt like he would never be able to stop. 

_This boy,_ Matteo thought as he buried his hands in David’s hair and pulled him closer, _this boy is going to be the death of me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next weeks update will probably be on Friday instead of Sunday, since I will be moving abroad on Saturday!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, man. I’m sorry for not telling you about me and David.”
> 
> Abdi slouched in his seat. “No, it’s alright. I just can’t believe I’m the only one who didn’t see it coming”, he said defeatedly.
> 
> Jonas gave Abdi’s shoulder a little shake and then a pat. 
> 
> Carlos then said, “What I can’t believe is that, out of all of us, Matteo is the one that got the rich one.”
> 
> Abdi slouched down further in his seat and got a pout on his face.
> 
> “Life isn’t fair”

Matteo couldn’t believe that this was happening. He was kissing David, and it was better than he ever could have imagined. Matteo thought he might combust right then and there. 

David was pressing him into the desk behind him, his hands on Matteo’s waist, and Matteo had his arms wrapped around David’s neck to pull him impossibly closer.

Blood roared in his ears as the kiss got deeper and deeper. The pressure of David pressing him into the desk driving him mad.

Then, in a second, all of it was gone.

David released him and took several steps back.

“I’m sorry,” he said, out of breath. “I shouldn’t have done that.

Matteo still felt dizzy from the kiss and at first he had trouble to concentrate on David’s words. He gripped the table tightly, not sure that his legs would be able to carry him. “No really it’s fine,” he said. His words sounded choked and he was breathing hard.

“No it really isn’t,” David said and ran his hand through his hair, that was pointing in every direction after Matteo had been running _his_ _hands_ through it. “This,” he gestured between them. “Can never happen.”

The dizziness disappeared in a second at David’s words. Matteo was really confused at the mixed signals that David was sending him. Did David realize that it was _he_ who had kissed _Matteo_ , not the other way around. “Um, okay,” he said slowly. “And why is that exactly?”

“Because I don’t do relationships,” David said and started to pace around the room. “They take up to much time. _Time_ that I don’t have,” he finished.

“You do realize we basically spend all of our time together anyway?” Matteo said in a hesitant voice.

David didn’t look up from his pacing and instead muttered, “I’m really bad at relationships. I’m to much in my own head, I don’t like talking about feelings, I spend way to much time in the lab-“

Matteo interrupted him. “And you think I know what I’m doing when it comes to relationships? I’ve never been in one. _Ever”,_ he said. 

Usually he would feel embarrassed admitting that to someone, but now he felt he didn’t care. He needed David to listen to him. And it seemed to have worked because David stopped pacing and instead turned to look at Matteo as if he had forgotten he was there. 

“Yeah, but you’re you,” he then said.

Matteo frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

David pinched his nose and let out a long breath

“I just mean that I would be really shit at it. And you’re an amazing person Matteo and you deserve better than that”

Matteo couldn’t help the next words that came out if his mouth.

“That’s bullshit.” David’s eyes widened and Matteo quickly added, “Can’t I decide for myself what I don’t and do deserve?” 

David’s words were crazy anyway, because David could definitely do way better than Matteo. David just continued to look at him and Matteo could feel himself to start getting frustrated.

“You know what I think David?” Matteo took a step towards him. “I don’t think this is just about what you’ve been saying. I think this is mostly about you being scared to let people in. Because when you let people in, it really hurts when they leave you.”

David looked away, but Matteo didn’t miss the vulnerable expression on his face. He felt his frustration run away and be replaced with such deep affection that it almost took his breath away.

Matteo took another step forward and took David’s hand in his.

“Look, it’s okay if don’t want to be with me,” he said and drew their hands close to his chest. “But I need you to know that I would never leave you like that and I would never do anything to hurt you.”

David stared at their hands for a long time before replying in a soft whisper, “I do want to be with you, more than anything”

Matteo felt warmth and relief spread through his entire body. “Then please, why can’t we just try this?” He said, matching David’s soft whisper.

David looked up at him and Matteo felt like he had never seen such vulnerability in his eyes. It was as if, for the first time, David was letting Matteo see all of him. All his secrets and all his terrors.

Matteo could see him making up his mind.

“Yes, let’s try it”

He pulled Matteo toward him and kissed him slowly. After a minute Matteo broke them apart and grabbed David’s hand again. 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked. 

David looked at him with blown pupils. He nodded and said, “Yes.”

Matteo held David’s hand tighter and didn’t let go as they left the lab.

  
  
  
  
  


Matteo woke up the next morning to his phone buzzing on his night stand. He stretched sleepily and then turned around in his bed to grab his phone. He froze as he saw David laying there, still sleeping soundly, and last nights events came rushing back to him. Him and David screaming at each other, him and David kissing each other, and lastly, him and David falling asleep together wrapped up in each other’s arms.

He stared at David’s face as he slept and couldn’t help but reach out a hand to gently touch his cheek. The phone buzzed again on the nightstand and Matteo carefully reached over David and grabbed it. He had two text’s from Jonas.

_Jonas: Yo, luigi how did everything go last night?_

_Did you find David?_

Matteo looked over at David and then back at his phone.

_Matteo: Yeah I found him_

_Jonas: was he okay, had anything happened_

_Matteo: no everything was okay, he had just lost track of time._

Matteo pondered if he should tell Jonas what had happened. A part of him wanted to keep it to himself a little while longer but another part of him desperately wanted to share it with Jonas.

He wanted Jonas to know and to be happy for him. He wrote out a text and hit send.

_Matteo: we kinda kissed last night_

_Jonas: What?????!!!!_

Matteo smiled to himself as he imagined Jonas in his room, freaking out over the text.

_Jonas: that’s amazing!!! I’m so happy for you_

_Jonas: can I call you??_

_Matteo: I can’t really talk right now, David is here and he’s still sleeping_

_Jonas: wow so he slept over_

_Jonas: get it Luigi_

Matteo rolled his eyes and was trying to come up with a reply when David shifted beside him.

“Good morning,” Matteo said and watched as David yawned and rubbed sleep away from his eyes. 

David looked at Matteo and his face broke into a smile. He pulled Matteo toward him and wrapped his arms around his neck as he gave him a long kiss. When they broke apart, David kept his hold on Matteo and whispered, “Hi.”

“Sleep good?” Matteo asked and brushed the hair back from David’s face.

David nodded and let out a content sigh. He released Matteo’s neck but took a hold of his hand instead. Matteo lay back down on his side and held himself up on his elbow as he looked at David.

Matteo thought that the sight in front of him might have been the most wonderful thing he had ever witnessed. Sunlight came in from the window and lit up David’s messy hair so that it looked like a halo around his head. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he said and looked at his and David’s laced hands.

He leaned in to give David another kiss and after, he leaned their foreheads together. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” Matteo whispered and bit his lip.

“Me too,” David whispered back and ran his hand over Matteo’s arm.

Matteo let out a breathless laugh.

“Well you did a good job hiding it,” Matteo said and sat up. 

He thought about all the conversations they had had when David repeatedly dismissed the idea of ever being in a relationship.

David bit the inside of his cheek and then said, “Yeah, but like you said last night, I was scared.” David shifted so that he was sitting up as well.

Matteo nodded. “I can understand that,” he said and took David’s hand in his again. 

David traced patterns on Matteo’s arm with his free hand. “You were right last night. I mean, my work is really important to me and it has definitely been a factor in how I view relationships, but I’m starting to think it is possible to have both be important. You and I have basically spent every minute together for the last two months and it’s been going just fine, and I mean my godparents managed both so…” Matteo had never really interacted with Mr. and Mrs. Keller at the same time, so he couldn’t really tell if they were happy together or not. He knew there were sometimes some gossip magazines that wrote about how their marriage was falling apart, but from what David had told him, they actually seemed like they were really good together and loved each other. “But letting people in has always been scary for me. I just feel like I always end up alone,” David continued and looked down at his lap. “And even though Laura isn’t gone for good, it's been really hard not having her around.” He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly before continuing, “So when I got these feelings for you, I guess I tried to suppress them or something.”

“You were trying to protect yourself,” Matteo said, understandingly. 

David looked up to meet his eyes and nodded. Then he said, “But sometimes it’s worth taking a risk.” He squeezed Matteo’s hand. “I really want this with you Matteo, and I really want this to work.”

Matteo felt his heart flutter at his words and he couldn’t help the smile he got on his face. 

“Me too,” he whispered and leaned in for a short kiss. 

“Do you have anywhere you have to be today?” Matteo asked. He desperately hoped that David could spend all day in his bed with him.

David winced. “Yeah, I’m going to a charity event with my grandparents around eleven.” He didn’t sound like he looked forward to it.

Matteo buried his face in David’s neck and let out a displeased sound. 

“I’m sorry.” David said and ran his hands over Matteo’s back.

Matteo nodded and decided that, if David had to leave soon, he really ought to make the most of the time they had together.

He started to kiss his way from David’s neck to his lips. When he captured David’s lips with his own, David responded immediately and the kiss soon got heated. After a few minutes, David slipped his hands under the hem of Matteo’s shirt. The skin to skin contact became to much for Matteo and he had to break away for a second. He rested their foreheads together and took a couple of deep breaths.

“I thought I would never get this with you,” he said in a raw voice. “It killed me everytime you talked about not wanting to be with anyone.”

David looked down. “I’m really sorry,” he said and he actually sounded very pained at the idea that he had hurt Matteo.

“No it’s okay,” Matteo said. He didn’t want David to feel guilty. Matteo knew that David hadn’t said any of it to hurt him. They were quiet for a moment but then Matteo said, “and I want you to know that I would never do anything to stand in the way of your work. I know how important it is to you.” 

David gave him a soft smile. “I know you wouldn’t.”

He wrapped his arms around Matteo’s neck again and pulled him in for a long kiss. When they broke apart, David had a teasing smile on his lips.

“So you’ve liked me for a really long time, huh?” He said and wiggled his eyebrows.

Matteo felt his cheeks heat up. “Oh, shut up,” he said and rolled his eyes but didn’t move from David’s embrace.

David chuckled and pulled him in for another long kiss.

When they inevitably had to break apart, David whispered, “I really like you Matteo Florenzi.”

Matteo smiled.

“And I really like you David Schreibner.”

  
  
  
  


When the time came for David to leave Matteo’s apartment, he walked him to the door and didn’t miss out on the chance to steal some more kisses. Even though they had spent the last hour making out in Matteo’s bed, he just couldn’t get enough of them. David’s kisses were sort of addictive. 

“Do you really have to leave?” Matteo whined as they stood by the door.

They had their fingers laced between them and were playing a sort of push and pull game. 

“I’m sorry, but I really have to,” David said apologetically. “Peter and Naomi are going to kill me if I’m not at the event on time. Especially since I missed the award ceremony last night.”

Matteo pouted and David smiled at him 

“I can come over later tonight though,” he said and raised his eyebrows at Matteo.

Matteo made a disgruntled sound and David laughed. He pulled at Matteo’s hands to get him closer so that He could give him a quick kiss on the lips.

“I’ll text you later,” David said and started to reach for the door handle but Matteo pulled him back by his jacket for one last kiss.

David put his hands on Matteo’s waist and pulled him closer. When they both had to come up for air David rested his forehead against Matteo’s and said, “Okay, now I really have to go.”

He released Matteo and stepped out the door. 

Matteo watched as David hurried down the stairs and gave him a wave before closing the door behind him. He turned around and fell back against the door and then saw Alex standing in the doorway.

Alex wasn’t around the flatshare much, he and Mia usually spent most of their time at his place, but of course he had to be here _today_. It was just Matteo’s luck.

“Good morning,” Alex said with a teasing smile.

Matteo blushed when he realized that Alex probably had heard most of his and David’s exchange and probably seen some of it too.

“Can I help you with something,” he asked Alex, trying to seem annoyed and not flustered.

“No, no,” Alex said innocently. ”I’m just here admiring the new plant that Mia bought.” He gestured to a big green plant in a blue pot that stood in the hallway right outside the kitchen.

Matteo rolled his eyes and walked past Alex into the kitchen. Alex followed him.

Matteo went to the fridge to take out cheese and butter for a sandwich and then went to the counter where Alex was now leaning.

He could tell that Alex wanted to say something more so he kept quiet and waited for him to speak up.

“So, you and David huh?” Alex said and wiggled his eyebrows 

Matteo opened the bag with bread and took out to slices. He didn’t turn to look at Alex as he answered.

“What about me and David”

Alex continued smiling at Matteo and shrugged before saying, “I’m just surprised, David has always been a work-only sort of guy”

Even though David and Matteo had talked about exactly those things and cleared everything out, it still hurt to hear someone else say it.

“Yeah, well things can change,” Matteo said with an edge to his voice, and spread butter on his sandwich.

Alex raised his hands as if to make peace.

“Hey, Matteo I’m happy for you guys,” he said sincerely. “And I think the two of you seem really good together.”

Matteo looked up from spreading butter on his sandwich in surprise.

“Oh,” he said. “Thanks, I guess” 

Alex raised his juice glass, and gave Matteo a nod of his head before leaving the kitchen.

  
  
  


Walking into school on Monday, hand in hand with David, didn’t go unnoticed to the rest of the students of the Keller _Gymnasium_. 

Matteo could feel their eyes on him as they walked through the school entrance and it made him feel a little uneasy. He wasn’t used to this much attention. Matteo liked to keep in the background where he could go unnoticed. That is probably why David hadn’t even known he excited until a few months ago.

He could hear a few whispers and even someone who shouted, “get it Florenzi.” And somehow that made Matteo feel a million more times self conscious than when Jonas had said it. 

“How are you not freaking out about this?” He asked David in a hushed voice.

David looked around him as if he just now had noticed the people that were whispering and staring. He gave Matteo a shrug. “I guess I’m kinda used to people talking about me.”

This of course, made perfect sense, since David had literally grown up in the spotlight. It was just one of the many things that set David and Matteo apart. People always whispered things about David and Matteo always tried to make himself as invisible as possible. That didn’t seem to be working for him today though.

Matteo nodded but continued to awkwardly look around him as they walked towards his locker. He opened it and took out his biology textbook for first period. 

David leaned against his locker and studied him for a while before speaking.

“Are you okay?” David asked with such genuine worry that Matteo felt like his heart was being squeezed. He nodded and gave David a smile that he hoped looked reassuring. It seemed to have worked, because David got a relieved look on his face. He started to move a little forward but then stopped to make sure Matteo was okay with what he was doing. Matteo leaned forward the rest of the way so that their lips touched. 

“I’ll see you after class, okay?” David said. Matteo nodded and David leaned in to gave him one last kiss before hurrying of to class.

Matteo kept staring after him with a dreamy expression on his face and didn’t look away until he heard someone clear their throat beside him.

He turned around to see Amira smirking at him.

“You ready to go to class?” She asked.

Matteo closed his locker and adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “Yeah, of course.”

They started to make their way toward biology class in silence.

“So, when did that happen?” Amira asked as they turned one of the corners. 

“When did what happen?” Matteo asked.

Amira gave him a look.

Matteo rolled his eyes at her but then answered.

“Not that long ago,” he admitted. They had made it to the door but instead of opening it, Amira turned to Matteo.

“Well I’m happy for you,” Amira said and it sounded like she meant it.

Matteo smiled at her. “Me too,” he said.

She gave his arm a half hearted punch and said, “You were really pining away there for a while. It was getting kinda embarrassing.” 

Matteo rolled his eyes again but didn’t say anything because he thought she might be right.

“Don’t know if the way you stared after him today was any less embarrassing though”

Once again, Matteo thought she might be right.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Bro, why didn’t you tell us about you and David?” Were the first words that Abdi said as he sat down next to Matteo in the school Cafeteria with his tray. He was soon followed by Jonas and Carlos who both carried similar looking trays. 

It seemed like the word about David Schreibner dating Matteo Florenzi had made it around the school quickly. Matteo had been the subject of many whispers and stares all day, but he was doing his best to try and ignore them. 

Lisa, in his computer networking class, had given him a dirty look when she sat down by her computer opposite his and hadn’t spared him another glance the rest of the class.There were even a few people who had come up to him and asked about it which had completely caught Matteo off guard. It wasn’t any of their business if David and him were together or not. Did these people not know anything about privacy? He didn’t tell any of them that though and instead just made up some excuse about having to leave and quickly hurried away. 

“I guess it slipped my mind,” Matteo said and put a fry in his mouth and continued scrolling through his phone. 

Abdi looked at him in disbelief. “It slipped your mind?” Matteo shrugged and put another fry in his mouth. He looked at Jonas who gave him a smirk. 

Abdi continued to stare at him. “So let me see if I got this right,” he said. “It slipped your mind to tell is that you’re dating David Schreibner, godson to the richest people in the country?”

Matteo shrugged again. “I don’t know what to tell you man.” He knew he was pushing Abdi’s buttons and was sorting enjoying himself. 

Both Jonas and Carlos let out burst of giggles and Abdi quickly turned to them. 

“Why am I the only one freaking out about this? Why aren’t _you_ guys freaking out about this?”

Carlos looked at Abdi with narrowed eyes as he chewed his hamburger. “Are you kidding me, man? It was totally obvious, they were giving each other looks all the time.” Matteo felt his cheeks heat up at this but thankfully no one was paying attention to him anymore. 

Abdi turned to Jonas who took a sip from his coke and said, “Luigi already told me.”

Abdi massaged his temples and closed his eyes. “So you’re telling me I’m the only one who didn’t see this coming? And I had to find out from fucking photoshop Markus?” his voice got higher and higher as he spoke. 

The other three boys laughed at him. Abdi got a miserable expression on his face and Matteo decided that he had suffered enough.

When he had stopped laughing Matteo turned to Abdi and said, “Hey, man. I’m sorry for not telling you about me and David.”

Abdi slouched in his seat. “No, it’s alright. I just can’t believe I’m the only one who didn’t see it coming”, he said defeatedly.

Jonas gave Abdi’s shoulder a little shake and then a pat. 

Carlos then said, “What _I_ can’t believe is that, out of all of us, Matteo is the one that got the rich one.”

Abdi slouched down further in his seat and got a pout on his face.

“Life isn’t fair”

  
  
  


Matteo and David being a couple didn’t have a great impact on the research project since they often, instead of actually working, spent their time in the lab making out. Which was exactly what they were doing this Thursday afternoon. 

Matteo felt a little guilty about it at first but David assured him that he was ahead of schedule anyway so it wasn’t really a problem. 

They had been dating for three weeks and most of the whispering at school had stopped but they still got a lot of looks when they walked through the corridors. It didn’t really bother Matteo that much anymore and even if it did, he would just look to his side at the amazing boy beside him. David could drown everything else out.

Matteo was sitting on David’s desk and David was standing between Matteo legs, his hands on Matteo waist. Matteo had his arms around David’s neck and kissed him hungrily. 

After a few minutes when they both had to come up for air David asked, “Do you want to come over for dinner at my house tomorrow night?” He still sounded breathless as he spoke.

Matteo looked at him. “You mean like with Mr and Mrs. Keller?”

“Yeah,” David replied and ran his hands over Matteo’s back. “I want you to meet them.”

Matteo didn’t know what to say. He looked at David with big eyes and David hastily said, “it’s completely fine if you don't want to.”

“No it’s not that,” Matteo said and played with the short hair at the nape of David’s neck. “It’s just…. they know about me?”

David nodded and said, “Yeah they know. I’ve told them .” They were both quiet for a moment before David asked, hesitantly, “Was that not okay?”

Matteo was still so shocked from his earlier statement that he took some time before answering. It always surprised him when David did or said things like this. Things that showed Matteo, that David was as into this relationship as he was. 

“No, it’s completely fine,” he said and gave David a smile to show that he meant it. “I was just surprised, I didn’t know you talked to me to others.” He raised his eyebrows at David.

David huffed, but a smile crept onto his face, “Yeah well, don’t let it get too much to your head.”

Matteo smiled wider and pulled David in for another kiss. He was always so amazed at how perfectly him and David fit together, and he hoped that feeling would never go away.

After a few more minutes of kissing David seemed to realize that Matteo never answered his question so he pulled away again and rested his forehead against Matteo’s.

“So, will you come?”

Matteo looked into David’s eyes and knew that he would agree to anything David asked him to do in that moment. 

It felt like a big step, meeting your boyfriend's parents, and Matteo could feel himself getting nervous at the thought. But it also warmed his heart to know that he and David were moving forward and becoming more and more _them_. 

He nodded. “Yes, I’ll come.”

  
  
  
  
  


”It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Matteo,” Mrs. Keller said the day after, as she opened the door to their house.

It was a beautiful old house and could probably fit three of Matteo’s entire apartment building. The outer door opened up into a big room with marble floors and a stair case that followed the curve of the room. In the ceiling hung the biggest crystal chandelier Matteo had ever seen.

Matteo shook her hand and answered, “Thank you for having me, Mrs. Keller.”

Mrs. Keller smiled. “Please, call me Naomi.”

Matteo smiled nervously and was about to compliment her home when a voice interrupted him.

“Mr. Florenzi, so we meet again,” Mr. Keller said and walked up to where Mrs. Keller and Matteo were standing by the door.

Matteo shook his hand. “Mr. Keller.”

“I must say I was quite surprised when David told us that he had started seeing someone,” Mr. Keller said. “I thought, oh they must be really smart if they can keep up with our David.” He gave Matteo a warm smile. “I should've realized that of course it was Matteo Florenzi. The Keller _Gymnasium’s_ most talented programmer,” he finished.

“Oh I don’t know about that, sir,” Matteo replied and felt his cheeks turn red. 

Before anyone else could say something more, David came running down the staircase toward them. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you ring the bell,” he said and went over to Matteo and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Matteo smiled at him, immediately feeling more calm at his presence.

“It’s fine David,” Mr. Keller said. “We were just talking about Matteo’s impressive programming skills.”

Mrs. Keller clasped her hands together and said, “Maybe we can talk about that during dinner, that should be ready any second now.”

“Of course,” Mr. Keller said and put his arm on Mrs. Keller’s waist and started walking further into the house.

  
  


Mr and Mrs. Keller had chefs that worked in their kitchen so of course the food was amazing.

They made pleasant small talk while eating and Mr. Keller asked Matteo about school and his involvement in David’s project. Mrs. Keller asked about Matteo’s childhood and about where he had grown up. There was an awkward moment when she told Matteo that he should invite his parents over for dinner sometime, but thankfully David jumped in and changed the subject before things got too awkward.

They were much easier to talk to than Matteo had expected and they both had funny and interesting stories to tell. He often found himself laughing at a joke Mrs. Keller had made or an entertaining story Mr. Keller was telling. 

When they had all finished the main course Mrs. Keller spoke up.

“I’m gonna go check on the dessert.” She stood up and put down her napkin on the table.

“I’ll come with you dear,” Mr. Keller said and walked out of the room with his wife.

David immediately turned to Matteo. “This seems to be going well.”

“Yeah, it does,” Matteo answered. Then asked, “Why, were you worried that it wouldn’t?” He gave David a smirk.

“No,” David said a bit too fast. Then he sighed and admitted, “Okay, maybe a little.”

He took Matteo’s hand. “But not because of you. It was more because of them,” he said and nodded his head towards the door that Mr and Mrs. Keller had just disappeared through. “They can be sort of protective.”

Matteo nodded. He could kind of understand why they would be.

“Will you stay the night?” David asked in a low voice. 

Matteo cast a look towards the kitchen and David followed his gaze.

“They won’t care,” he assured Matteo and squeezed his hand.

Matteo looked at David and thought, just like yesterday, that he would do anything David asked him at that moment.

“Then yes, I’ll stay,” he said and gave David a kiss.

  
  
  


After that night Matteo and David started to sleep at David’s house a lot more since it meant that they got more privacy since it was much bigger than Matteo’s apartment. There was also the fact that it didn’t have three other roommates snooping around.

It made it a lot easier to get away with more…intimate activities, like the ones they had done this morning. After, David had put his head on Matteo’s chest and they had been lying in blissful silence for a few minutes when David spoke up.

“Do you ever think about the future?” He ran his hand over Matteo’s chest.

“Huh?” Matteo said. He was still sort of out of it.

“About what you want to do after school and stuff, like obviously you want to do programming bu do you know _where_ you want to work?”

Yeah, Matteo had thought about those things. That and David were pretty much the only things he ever thought about. There was a company in Berlin that created software for medical purposes, their main focus on mental health. It was pretty much Matteo’s dream job and he felt excitement run through him whenever he imagined a future of working there. 

He didn’t tell David any of that though and instead he nudged David off his chest so that he was laying on his back and started to kiss his neck.

“I won’t have to work, I have you,” Matteo said between kisses and David made a sound of pleasure and dug his nails into Matteo’s back. “You’ll keep doing your research and then you’ll win the Nobel prize, and neither of us will have to work,” he said against David’s skin.

David laughed. “Slow down there.” He brought Matteo’s face up so that he could look at him. “The Nobel prize? I’m not _that_ smart.”

Matteo narrowed his eyes as if he was considering this, then said, “Yeah your right, you’re not that smart.”

David tried elbowing but it was hard in the position they were in. He scoffed and said,”How rude!”

He pushed Matteo off of him so that Matteo lay beside him again.

“You know what?” David said. “Maybe I’ll break up with you and just date some other programmer prodigy.”

Matteo went back to kissing David’s neck and David did nothing to stop him.

“Is that so?” Matteo asked as he started to leave kisses further and further down David’s body. David buried his fists in the sheets and breathed heavily.

“uhu,” He panted and then, when Matteo kissed a particularly sensitive spot, he added, “Of course, I’ll probably keep you around for other services.”

“That works for me,” Matteo said and ran his hands over David’s side. “I was only in it for the money anyway so I can just go get me another rich boy.”

David kicked him in his side and flipped Matteo so that David now was towering on top of him.

“You ass,” David said but then bent down to capture Matteo’s lips with his.

Matteo tugged on David’s hair as David’s hands moved to touch every part of Matteo’s body they could reach.

They kissed lazily for a few minutes and Matteo laced their fingers together.

After awhile David pulled away to catch his breath, rested his forehead against Matteo’s and whispered, ”I don’t want to share you with anyone else.”

Matteo looked into David’s dilated pupils. He didn’t want to share David with anyone else either. He wanted all of this. The closeness, the laughter, the intimacy and everything else.

“I guess I can live with that,” Matteo whispered back and pulled David in for another kiss.

  
  
  
  
  


About two months into dating David, Matteo accompanied the Keller’s to a gala that celebrated the huge success and developments within the field of science, engineering and technology. He had been really nervous about it since Mr. and Mrs. Keller had asked him to come, but he hadn’t been able to say not to them. 

Laura was home from Africa for a couple of days and was also attending which had Matteo even more nervous about going to the gala, since he hadn’t really met her before. It felt important to him that Laura approved of him since he knew how close David and Laura were. 

They were seated in a big room at round tables with some of the most successful people of the country and Matteo watched as they one after one went up on stage to hold speeches and accepted big rounds of applause. 

During one of the breaks Matteo found himself standing alone with Laura in a corner of the room. They hadn’t really had a proper one on one conversation yet and an awkward silence filled the space between them. 

“So,” Laura finally said and inspected Matteo.

“So,” Matteo responded and shifted a little under her gaze.

“You, know,” Laura said. “Your now exactly what did I expected.”

She continue to consider Matteo.

Matteo found Laura very hard to read. She kind of reminded him of Mia in that sense. She had this look about her, as if she was in on some inside joke that he wasn’t and it made him feel a little unsettled. 

“What were you expecting then,” Matteo asked. Not really knowing if he wanted to hear the answer to that.

“I don’t know,” Laura said. “But definitely not a computer nerd.” 

Matteo snorted at that. 

Laura took a sip from her glass. “I think I always expected David to fall for someone who was as obsessed with biology as he his,” she said and smiled at him.

When she smiled she suddenly looked a lot more approachable and she reminded Matteo a lot more of David. 

“But you seem to make him happy, Matteo,” Laura said. “And it’s nice to know that someone cares about David as much as I do when I’m not here.”

Matteo nodded in understanding.

He was about to say something else when David, Mr. and Mrs. Keller showed up and joined them.

They talked for a few minutes but then a man came up to them and he and Mr. Keller embraced.

He was tall, with broad shoulders and had dark hair combed back from his face. 

“It’s been to long Peter,” the man said and then turned to give Mrs. Keller a kiss on the cheek.

“Well we’ve both been very busy, Simon,” Mr. Keller replied. He gestured to David and Laura. “You remember by kids?” 

“Of course, David and Laura.” He kissed Laura’s cheek and shook David’s hand. “Though you have grown quite a bit since I last saw you,” he finished and gave them a smile.

David and Laura smiled politely but Matteo got the feeling that they both really wanted to roll their eyes at his words.

“And this is Matteo Florenzi, David’s boyfriend,” Mr. Keller said and gestured to Matteo. 

The man looked at Matteo with interest and held out his hand for Matteo to shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Florenzi.”

Matteo took his hand. “Likewise, Mr…”

“Zimmermann. Simon Zimmerman.”

“Simon is the head of the Zimmerman company,” Mr. Keller explained.

Matteo recognized the name. It was one of the biggest companies in the industry. Not bigger than Keller and co, but they were still a big name in the field. He knew some of Hans’s friends from school had done internship years there.

“Me and Simon actually used to work together,” Mr. Keller continued. 

“Oh, really?” Matteo asked. He had never heard about this before.

“Yeah, But then he replaced me with this beautiful woman over here,” Mr. Zimmerman said in a joking tone. 

“Can you blame me?” Mr. Keller joked back and but his arm around his wife’s waist.

Someone on the stage let the everyone know that the break was over and asked everyone to kindly be seated.

They said their goodbyes to Mr. Zimmerman and went back to their seats. The evening continued like before and Matteo felt himself relax more and more and he ended up having a really great time. 

He was having a conversation with Laura about her work in Africa when he looked up and found Mr. Zimmerman, who was two tables away, looking at him. 

Mr. Zimmerman raised his glass to Matteo and then looked back at the man who was seated next to him who seemed to be talking to him.

Matteo got a weird feeling in his stomach but he tried to tell himself that it was nothing. Mr. Zimmerman had probably not realized he was staring at him until Matteo had seen him.

His eyes still lingered on Mr. Zimmerman for a few more seconds before he turned his attention back to his conversation with Laura.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo and David stumbled through the doorway to Matteo’s apartment. Matteo had basically had to carry David up the stairs since he sort of lacked all control of his own limbs. He was giggling uncontrollably and Matteo had to hush him several times so that they wouldn’t wake up any of his roommates.

They had been at Leoni Richter’s apartment at a party and everything had sort of spiraled out of control. They had played a drinking game and David had ended up winning big time. Being the one that won, usually meant you had to drink the least amount of alcohol but that was not the case for this particular drinking game. For this drinking game, the reverse was true and David had therefore managed to get completely wasted.

Matteo helped him take his jacket off and lead David to the toilet. 

“Tonight was fun,” David said as Matteo placed him on the toilet seat and put toothpaste on his toothbrush.

“Yeah,” Matteo agreed. “A little to fun maybe”

David ignored him and stood up beside Matteo and started brushing his teeth. Matteo could see David staring at him through the mirror. After a minute David but his arm around Matteo’s shoulder and pulled him close to him so that there cheeks were pressed together. 

He continued to stare at them both in the mirror and then took his toothbrush out of his mouth and said, “God, you’re so pretty” 

Matteo tried to get out of David’s grip because it was kinda hard brushing his teeth in the position they were in. David didn’t release him though and instead tightened his grip.

“Like really pretty”

Matteo snorted and finally managed to make himself free from David’s hold. 

“And you’re really drunk” 

David didn’t seem to have heard him because he then continued, “And your nose is just the cutest”

He brought his hand up and bopped Matteo’s nose with his finger, almost missing it altogether. 

Matteo rolled his eyes, turned back to the mirror and continued to brush his teeth. David was still looking at him but this time it wasn’t through the mirror but instead directly.

After awhile he said,” I love you”

Matteo froze. 

Neither of them had ever said those words to each other before. Matteo knew he loved David, no doubt about it, but it still felt big and scary to say it out loud. Matteo had always felt like it had to be the right moment. And here David was, saying it drunk and right after Matteo had spent ten minutes rubbing David’s back as he threw up in a bush outside Matteo’s apartment.

“Okay you’re really, really drunk,” he said and took the toothbrush from David’s hand.

“No I mean it Matteo” David said and tugged at Matteo’s shirt

“That would sound more believable if you weren’t slurring your words,” Matteo said and turned to run both of their toothbrushes under water. 

“Why are you not listening to anything I’m saying?” David said and pouted.

The crazy thing was, Matteo actually believed him when he said he loved him. He knew that what they had between them was real and that David cared just as much for him, as he did for David. But it really wasn’t the right time to start making love confession, especially since there was no chance that David would remember this conversation in the morning.

So instead he said, “Yeah, yeah I heard you. You love me and I have a cute nose.” He turned David around and gave him a little nudge in the direction of his bedroom. “Now go take off your binder, and go to bed” 

David swayed and almost crashed into Mia’s new plant. 

  


“There is a letter for you on the counter,” Hans said as Matteo walked into the kitchen the next morning. David was still asleep and Matteo guessed that he probably would be spending most of the day in bed.

“Oh, thanks,” Matteo said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He picked up the letter.

“Have fun last night?” Hans asked with a tease to his voice.

“Not as fun as David,” Matteo said and sat down opposite Hans. 

Hans laughed.

”Is he hungover?” He then asked as he spun the spoon around in his tea.

“Probably, I don’t know yet, he’s still sleeping.”

Hans nodded and then said, “There is a bucket in the cleaning cupboard that might come in handy.”

Matteo snorted. “Good to know.” Hans smiled at him and then went back to looking at his phone.

Matteo looked at the letter that he had gotten but didn’t recognize the name of the sender. He tore the envelope open and started reading.

_Dear Matteo Florenzi_

_We, here at the Weber company, are pleased to inform you that we consider you a potential candidate to our newly developed internship program. We are looking for young, talented people within the field of computer programming and are very impressed with your track record at the Keller Gymnasium. We are therefore sending you an early request._

_To confirm that you are right for the program we would like to make an appointment for an interview on Thursday at 15:00 at the address written on the back of the letter._

_Since the program has not officially been launched we must kindly request you to keep this information to yourself for the time being._

_We thank you for your discretion and hope that you consider our proposal_

_Sincerely, the Weber company._

Matteo frowned. He had never heard about the Weber company before. He wondered how they had even found him since there must be a thousand other programmers that were much more suited to the program. 

He also found it strange that he couldn’t share the information written in the letter, but then, Matteo didn’t really know much about how companies work and wasn’t really qualified to say what was weird or not. 

He considered their proposal. An internship would not only look good on job and university applications but they could also be a great way to make important connections. Matteo knew a lot of his fellow students were already involved in programs at different companies so obviously it was possible to do it while still in school.

“Who’s the letter from?” Hans asked and Matteo looked up to see him staring at Matteo.

Matteo looked down again. Should he tell Hans? He didn’t really understand why it would be bad to tell him. But there must be a reason why they had specifically asked him not to tell anyone about it, so Matteo decided to keep it to himself, at least for now. He didn’t really want to get in trouble.

“Just some advertisement,” Matteo said and put the letter back in the envelope. Hans looked at him for a few seconds then nodded and went back to his phone.

They both looked up again a few minutes later when they heard the door to Matteo’s room open and hurried steps towards the bathroom and the sound of David emptying his stomach.

Matteo sighed and got up from the chair. He gave Hans a little salute.

“Duty calls”

  
  
  
  
  


Five minutes to three on Thursday Matteo stood in front of the building the address on the back of the letter had led him to. It was an impressive building compared to the rest in the neighborhood with big clear windows and was at least 7 stories high. Matteo walked up the steps and went to the reception that was located near the entrance. He told them what he was looking for and she directed him to the elevators and told him to take it to the fourth floor. He thanked her and walked towards the elevators. 

As he road up he looked at the names written by each floor. He recognized a lot of the names as different German companies and came to the conclusion that this building must have a lot of offices to accommodate for all the companies. 

He only had time to read the names up until the third floor until the elevator made a sound and the doors opened to the fourth floor.

He walked out and looked at the sign right outside the elevator and saw the name of the room his interview was supposed to be in, on the list. He walked down the hall and came to a stop at the door. 

He had suddenly gotten nervous and needed a moment to calm himself down. He tried to tell himself that there was really no reason for him to feel this uneasy since he didn’t really want this internship that bad anyway so it didn’t matter if he screwed this up or not.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He didn’t hear anything from the other side but after a moment a man swung the door opened. Matteo looked up and was shocked at who he saw. 

Simon Zimmerman of the Zimmerman company stood in front of him, a classic business smile on his face. Matteo was confused. Had he knocked on the right door? He looked at the sign outside the door again and then back to Mr. Zimmerman. 

Simon Zimmerman opened his mouth and said, ”Ah, Mr. Florenzi. Right on time.” He stepped back so that Matteo could walk past him into the room and closed the door behind him. 

Okay so he was in the right room. But Matteo was still just as confused. Was Mr. Zimmerman working for the Weber company? Had the Zimmerman company switched names to the Weber company?

Mr. Zimmerman gestured to a chair in front of a desk. “Please, take a seat,” he said and walked around the desk to sit opposite Matteo. Matteo looked around the room. There wasn’t really much to look at to be honest. No bookcases, no painting on the walls, not anything really except for the desk and two chairs. The uneasy feeling that Matteo had had when he knocked on the door grew.

“I’m afraid that I have to inform you that the information in the letter wasn’t entirely truthful,” Mr. Zimmerman said when they were both seated.

Matteo shifted. “ Okay,” He said slowly. “So you don’t want to offer me an internship?”

Matteo really had no idea what was going on. 

“Oh no! That part was true. Or at least in a way” Mr. Zimmerman said quickly and leaned back in his chair. “I want you to help me with something, call it an internship, a favor, whatever you want.”

Matteo didn’t like the sound of that at all.

“Okay…,” He said hesitantly.

“You see, I think you could help me a great deal actually, in the position you’re in.” Matteo wasn’t really sure which position Mr. Zimmerman was referring to so he remained quiet. 

“There has been a lot of talk lately in the business world, about the Keller company and their next launch,” Mr. Zimmerman continued. “No one but them knows what it is, of course. But it is said to be really big.” He leaned forward and rested his hands on the desk. He gave Matteo an intense look. “And I believe that you, Mr. Florenzi, can get me exactly what I want.”

Matteo cleared his throat. “And what exactly, is it that you want?” Matteo asked even though he already had a pretty good idea.

“What I want, Mr. Florenzi,” Mr. Zimmerman said and and clasped his hands on the desk. “Is for you to figure out what their planning.”

Matteo just stared at him. 

This was crazy.

“Mr. and Mrs. Keller don’t talk to me about that sort of things so I’m afraid I can’t help you,” Matteo said.

“Oh I don’t need them to tell you anything.” Mr. Zimmerman assured him. “I just need someone that has access to their house”

Matteo swallowed.

“Mr and Mrs. Keller keep a computer in their office at home with all of their confidential information, and who is better than their godsons boyfriend to go in and get me the information on it,” he made a gesture with his hands like it was the most obvious solution in the world. “It’s the only computer that contains all the information so it’s the only way to make sure that I don’t miss anything.”

“How do you even know about that?” Matteo asked and frowned at him.

“You forget that I and Mr. Keller used to be colleagues. I know how he thinks almost better than anyone.” Mr. Zimmerman leaned back in his chair again. 

“Do we have a deal Mr. Florenzi?”

_Was this guy being serious_

Matteo almost wanted to laugh and him for suggesting something so crazy but he didn’t think that would go home well. Instead he opted for a more serious approach. “No we don’t have a deal, sir.” He looked at him in contempt. “What makes you think I would even help you with this. I don’t even know you.” He was starting to become really frustrated. Why was Mr. Zimmerman acting like he had all the power here? Didn’t he understand that Matteo would go directly to David and tell him everything?

“Oh, I had forgotten about that part,” Mr. Zimmerman said. “You see, Mr. Florenzi. If you don’t get me the information I want, I will personally make sure that you have no future in the programming field, or any other for that matter.”

“And how would you do that?” Matteo asked and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Oh that’s easy,” Mr. Zimmerman said and waved his hand. “Faking documents is not hard. I can make it look you’ve done things that would get you in prison.” 

Matteo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Now Mr. Zimmerman was threatening him? 

“They won’t believe you,” he said but there was hesitation in his voice now. Even he knew ways to make fake documents look like real official documents. He no longer felt like laughing and had started to get actually scared. 

Mr. Zimmerman looked at Matteo for a few seconds and Matteo felt himself shrink in on himself. “Don’t you know Matteo,” Mr. Zimmerman then said and Matteo flinched at his first name being used. “That the best lies are built on truths?”

Matteo looked at him, confused.

“I know about you cheating your way into the Keller _Gymnasium,”_ Mr. Zimmerman said. “You might be talented with computers Mr. Florenzi but I have people to. People that have looked into you and they’ve done their research quite thoroughly.”

Matteo felt like ice was spreading through his veins. He held his breath.

“And as they did their research they stumbled upon something really interesting and that didn’t look exactly like it should,” Mr. Zimmerman said and searched Matteo’s face for any sort of reaction to his words.

“I know that you changed your results on the biology part of the entrance exam. We both know that’s the only reason that you are where you are today. And I don’t think the school would be so happy if they found out about this.”

“And if you’ve done this,” he said and gestured at nothing in particular. “Who’s to say that you haven’t done more things against the law.”

Matteo didn’t know what to say to this. He had made it almost three years without anyone finding out about him hacking into the school system and changing his results. 

When he had gotten the email that said that he had failed his entrance exam he had panicked. It had been the one thing he had hung onto during those dark months after his dad had left them. 

Matteo knew that he hadn’t done great on the exam, he had been too depressed to even try to study for it, but he had never let himself ponder the possibility of not getting in. If he had, he might of had broken down completely.

It had been a quick decision, hacking into the system, done out of desperation. And he had felt such guilt about it that he hadn’t been able to eat for several days afterwards. 

But then he had started at Kellers and he had gotten better and he felt like he truly belonged there. He knew that he was meant to go to that school, or at least that was what he told himself to try and make him feel better about himself. He had still felt paranoid during those first few weeks that someone would find out what he had done, but no one ever did. 

Until now.

“Why are you doing this?” Matteo asked, his voice no louder than a whisper. 

“Because if I get my hands on that information I would increase my company’s wealth noticeably.” Mr. Zimmerman said.

Matteo narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re already one of the wealthiest men in the country.”

“Yes,” Mr. Zimmerman said. Then he smiled and added, “but this might very well make me one of the wealthiest men in the world.”

He leaned forward towards Matteo. “So I ask you again Mr. Florenzi. Do we have a deal?” 

Matteo didn’t answer. He wasn’t even able to form one word because surely this couldn’t be happening. It felt like a really fucked up dream.

Mr. Zimmerman sighed and patted the table with one of his hands. “Okay, So here is what we are going to do,” he said. “I’m going to give you one week to get me the information.” He looked at Matteo to see if he was paying attention. “And if you haven’t contacted me in that time. I’m going to release information about you that will mean no more school, no work and no future whatsoever within Science, engineering and technology. Okay?”

Matteo heart was hammering in his chest but he managed to nod.

“Great!” Mr. Zimmerman said as if Matteo hadn’t just agreed to steal information and be blackmailed .”Take this,” he held out a black hard drive to Matteo. “And load everything you can find on the computer onto it.”

Matteo took it hesitantly.

Mr. Zimmerman gestured at the door. “I believe you know your way out.”

Matteo stood up on shaky legs and walked towards the door. Just as he was about to close it Mr. Zimmerman said, “Oh and Mr. Florenzi. If you say a word about this to anyone, and I mean _anyone_ , I’ll make sure to make your life a living hell.”

Matteo shut the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wiped his hands on his napkin. “I actually met someone,” he said. His own voice sounded strange to his own ears, as if something was covering them.
> 
> His mom looked at him with joyful surprise. “Oh that’s wonderful Matteo. What’s her name?” 
> 
> Matteo cringed. Then he took a deep breath and said, “ His name is david.”

As Matteo walked from his meeting with Mr. Zimmerman, he felt the panic start to set in.

His breathing got heavy, his heart rate picked up and he suddenly felt very nauseous. He walked to a tree on the other side of the road and rested his hands on it as he emptied the content of his stomach.

He didn’t know what to do.

He new what he should do of course. He should go to David and tell him about what had happened and about being blackmailed by Mr. Zimmerman. Then David could tell Mr. and Mrs. Keller and they would be able to confront Mr. Zimmerman about everything. 

And then Mr. Zimmerman would forge documents to make it seem like he was a criminal and Matteo’s life would be ruined. 

Everything he had ever worked on would be pointless if people believed the accusations and of course there was the fact that Matteo would get thrown out of school, though that would probably be the least of his worries.

Maybe he could just tell David and not Mr. and Mrs. Keller?

He knew that David would keep the whole thing to himself if Matteo asked him to, but what would be the point of that? They wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, without Mr. and Mrs. Keller help. And telling David meant that Matteo would have to tell him about his entrance exam, and he really didn’t want to do that.

But if Matteo didn’t tell David and he found out what he had done… David would never forgive him for that. 

Matteo looked around at the people going about their day. No one seemed to have done a double take at him throwing up. A little boy and his mom were crossing the road a few meters away. The boy was jumping from one of the lines on the road to another, while his mom tugged on his hand. Matteo couldn’t believe that people’s life’s were continuing like nothing had happened when his was completely falling apart.

Matteo wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and started to walk home.  
  
  


Matteo ended up laying on his bed and smoking a joint. He desperately wanted to forget about the meeting with Mr. Zimmerman and just ignore the whole thing, but he also knew that he couldn’t. 

What the fuck was wrong with this guy, anyway? He was already disgustingly rich but he still felt the need to blackmail someone to be even more rich? 

Matteo sighed and rubbed at his face.

In his head there were two options. 

Option 1: He did what Mr. Keller asked and stole the information, and didn’t say anything to anyone about it. If everything went according to plan, no one would find out about it and then Matteo could continue on with his life as if nothing had happened. 

But if they did find out… Then Matteo would definitely be exposed and he would definitely lose David.

Option 2: He played the good guy and told Mr. and Mrs. Keller about the blackmailing. Mr.Zimmerman wouldn’t end up getting the information and Matteo wouldn’t have done anything illegal. 

That option definitely sounded better than the first but Matteo couldn’t help thinking about what could go wrong if he went with that option.

If they weren’t able to prove that Mr. Zimmerman had done something wrong, Mr. Zimmerman would still be able to wreck Matteo’s life completely. 

Matteo groaned and put out his joint.

He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. This stuff only happened in movies, not to people in real life, and definitely not to someone like Matteo. Why couldn’t Matteo just get to be happy with his boyfriend? Was that really too much to ask?

Matteo pulled up his laptop to distract himself from the war that was going on inside his head. His mouse hovered over the google chrome icon but he couldn’t help but look at the icon for the program he used when making his app. 

He had spent a lot of time on that app over the past few months and working on it almost felt like therapy to him. Whenever he had a bad day he could distract himself by doing something he loved. And he was good at it as well. Like really good at it. Matteo knew that he could make things that could potentially change lives. The app he was working on was only the beginning of what he could do and the thought of not being able to continue to do that, of having to give it all up... it made Matteo feel like he couldn’t breath.

There was a small voice in Matteo’s head that told him that he could get away with it. He could steal the information and give it to Mr. Zimmerman and no one would have to find out. Even if there were a hundred different voices that screamed at him that it was impossible and wrong, Matteo decided to drown all those other voices out and only listen to the one that told him that he could have it all. Then he would have David  _ and _ the future he had always dreamed of and worked so hard for his whole life.

Matteo thought about Mr. Zimmerman’s words. __

_ If you don’t get me the information I want, I will personally make sure that you have no future in the programming field, or any other for that matter. _  
  


Matteo closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

He couldn’t give that up.

Matteo closed the laptop and texted David that he was coming over.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Later that night, when David was sound asleep in the bed next to him, Matteo quietly slipped out of the room.

He had waited until he was absolutely sure that Mr. and Mrs. Keller had gone to bed and that all the people that worked for them had all gone home. 

Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s study was on the first floor of the house near the kitchen. Matteo stopped outside Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s room to listen for any sings that they might still be awake, but when he heard none he continued down the hall. 

He walked down the stairs, the hard drive tightly clutched in his hand and before he knew it he was standing outside the study. He stopped outside.

He wondered, not for the first time, what it was that he would find on the laptop. Mr. Zimmerman obviously thought it was worth a whole lot of  money and blackmailing a teenager for, so Matteo could only imagine. 

He cast a look behind him before putting his hand on the handle and opening the door.

He hesitated for a moment, listening. He had kind of expected loud alarms to go of when he opened the door that would wake everyone in the house, but there was only silence.

He let out a breath and walked inside.

The study looked exactly like Matteo had imagined it would. The walls were covered with books from floor to ceiling in dark brown bookcases. In the Middle of the room was a large desk with big piles of paper on it. Matteo walked around the desk to stand by the old chair and saw the thing was looking for. The laptop.

It was laying there in the middle of the desk. Not in some secret safe that needed five locker combinations to open and why would it? Mr. and Mrs. Keller didn’t have a reason to distrust anyone in the house and therefore probably didn’t feel the need to take any extra security measures. Matteo winced a little at the thought. 

He pressed his lips together and opened the computer. 

As he waited for the computer to start he looked around the desk and spotted a picture frame in the midst of all the documents. It held a picture of David and Laura on top of a snowy mountain in full winter gear. Matteo remembered David telling him about a trip they took to the french alps.They looked so happy in the picture that Matteo smiled and momentarily forgot about the horrible thing he was about to do. Then the computer lit up and asked him to log in to an account. 

Matteo cursed silently. 

If he had had his computer with him he would have easily have made it past the log in without any problems whatsoever, but his computer was still in his room back in the flatshare. 

He tried both David’s and Laura’s name but with no success. He then tried Mrs. Keller’s maiden name but that didn’t work either. He continued to make several other attempts each crazier than the next and even went as for as to write in Frank, the name of Mr. Keller’s childhood dog. When ten minutes had passed with no progress, Matteo was starting to give up. He would just have to come back with his own computer another day and try again. But then he got one last idea even though he wasn’t too hopeful that it would work. He tried it in anyway and wrote in Laura’s and David’s birthdays into the laptop. He clicked enter and the words  _ welcome Mr. and Mrs. Keller,  _ appeared on screen. Matteo breathed out a sigh of relief and then rolled his eyes at himself for trying Mr. Keller’s dog before his kids birthdays. 

He plugged the hard drive into the USB outlet of the laptop and looked at the different folders that filled the screen. Matteo realised that he had no idea what he was looking for. It wasn’t like there would be a folder named  _ super secret information _ . Matteo breathed out another sigh and sat down in the chair. He guess he had no choice but to get to work 

He went through each of the folders but couldn’t find anything that looked like what Mr. Zimmerman had been talking about. Each folder just contained information about stuff Matteo already had seen or they just contained half finished sketches of ideas that didn’t make any sense. 

Then he saw a folder that caught his eye. The name just a few numbers, a date. The date was two month from now.

He clicked the folder and as soon as he opened it, he knew he had found what he was looking for. 

The folder contained information about something that was supposed to be launched in two months at a big gala and there was so much information that Matteo didn’t know where to begin. It seemed to be some type of software system that could be used by companies and if he was to believe what he read, it would help companies with finance, employment, health care and a several other things. Matteo scrolled through one of the thousand documents and read on in amazement. He soon remembered what he was supposed to be doing and started to transfer the files onto the hard drive. 

He let out a frustrated sigh when he saw that the transfer would take over 7 hours. There was not a chance that he would be able to do this in just one night. Just as he thought this he heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Matteo froze. If someone walked in on him now, there was no way he would be able to come up with an explanation that didn’t sound suspicious. 

He looked at the countdown that still read over 7 hours. He held his breath and then unplugged the hard drive. 

He made his way to the door and listened to see if he could here anyone outside. There was still sound coming from the kitchen but other than that he couldn’t hear anything. 

He opened the door and walked out of the study. He closed the door as quietly as he could and tiptoed down the hall. He had just made it past the doorway to the kitchen when he heard Mrs. Keller’s voice.

“Matteo, is that you?”

He closed his eyes and cursed himself silently. He turned around and walked into the kitchen to see Mrs. Keller with a teacup in her hand.

“Yeah, sorry. I was going to get a glass of water but I didn’t want to disturb you,” he said and hoped that she couldn’t notice his voice shaking.

“Don’t be silly, come here,” Mrs. Keller said and gestured him into the kitchen. “I just made myself some tea, do you want some?”

“No, I’m good,” Matteo said and then hastily added, “but thank you.”

He went over to one of the cupboards and took out a glass. 

He could feel Mrs. Keller’s eyes on him as he went over to the sink and started to fill his glass.

“I’m really glad that David met you, Matteo,” Mrs. Keller said from nowhere. Matteo was so surprised that he didn’t even notice when his glass was starting to fill over.

“I’m really glad I met him too, Mrs. Keller,” he answered and tried to smooth his face into something that resembled a smile. 

Mrs. Keller smiled warmly at him and then went to the dishwasher to put her cup down.

Matteo leaned against the counter and drank his water. 

As Mrs. Keller walked past him, she put her hand on Matteo’s shoulder and said, “You’re a good boy Matteo. And I think you’re very good for our David.”

Matteo tensed up with the guilt he felt at her words. 

_ If she only new, _ he thought.

He gave her a nervous smile and nodded.

She squeezed his shoulder before letting go and then walked out of the kitchen.

Matteo let out a breath and slumped against the counter. 

  
  
  


As he lay in bed he could still feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. There was no way he would ever put himself through that again. 

He thought about the hard drive, that was now buried deep in his school bag, and of the information that was on it. He hoped it was enough to satisfy Mr. Zimmerman. It would have to be.

David shifted in his sleep and reached for Matteo.

“Where did you go?” He said. His voice thick with sleep 

Matteo pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head.

“I just went to get some water,” he whispered.

David made a humming sound and Matteo listen to his breathing becoming slower and slower.

Matteo decided to push all the thoughts that had anything to do with Simon Zimmerman out of his head and to instead focus on the calming presence of the boy in his arms.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Is this all?” Mr. Zimmerman asked almost a week later.

Matteo had just given him the hard drive and Mr. Zimmerman was now looking through it on a computer he had brought.

It wasn’t only him and Matteo this time around. Two men, that had checked Matteo for bugs when he came in, now stood positioned at the door as if to stop Matteo if he ever got the idea to run for it.

“It was all I was managed to get,” Matteo replied as he stood in front of the desk. “Mrs. Keller almost caught me so I didn’t have time to transfer it all.”

Matteo hadn’t dared to go back to Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s study after that one night when he almost got caught. 

“Well it isn’t enough,” Mr. Zimmerman said. “I asked you to get me all the information Mr. Florenzi. So now I ask you again to please go back there and get me the rest of the information.”

Matteo had been expecting this but he had also secretly hoped that the information he had gathered would be enough for Mr. Zimmerman to let Matteo go and not to ruin his life. 

But of course Matteo had no such luck. He felt completely exhausted all of a sudden.

“I can’t do this no more. I’m done,” Matteo said and held up his hands. 

Mr. Zimmerman looked at him closely and then said, “sit down Mr. Florenzi,” and gestured to the chair opposite him. 

Matteo looked longingly at the door but did as he was told.

Mr. Zimmerman closed the laptop in front of him and clasped his hands on top of it. 

“I’m not sure you understand how this works, Matteo,” Mr. Zimmerman said slowly. “ _ You _ don’t have any power here and  _ you  _ don’t get to decide when your done. You’ll go back there and you’ll get all the information I want. Understand?”

Matteo didn’t answer.

“I asked, do you understand, Mr. Florenzi?”

Matteo shook his head.

“I won’t do it,” he said with as much confidence as he could muster. 

Mr. Zimmerman sighed and leaned back in his chair. “You’re making this a lot harder than it has to be, Mr. Florenzi. I’ve already told you what happens if you don’t do as I say. Then you can kiss your future goodbye”

“I’ll go to Mr. and Mrs. Keller and I’ll tell them about what you’re trying to do,” Matteo said in an attempt to scare Mr. Zimmerman into releasing him but it obviously didn’t work because a mocking grin spread over Mr. Zimmerman’s face.

“And what makes you think they’ll believe  _ you,”  _ Mr. Zimmerman said. “Me and Mr. Keller have been friends for decades and he would believe me over some stupid, young boy any day.”

Matteo didn’t know if this was true or not but he didn’t argue.

“And it’s not like you have any evidence to support you claims,” Mr. Zimmerman continued. 

He was right and Matteo knew it. He didn’t have anything that he could show Mr and Mrs. Keller to make them believe him. It was Mr. Zimmerman’s word against his.

“But I can tell David,” Matteo said in one last desperate attempt. “He’ll believe me and Mr. and Mrs. Keller will believe him.”

Mr. Zimmerman considered this for a moment and Matteo suddenly felt hopeful again.

“That might very well be true Mr Florenzi,” Mr. Zimmerman said and then he added, “But do you really think that your boyfriends family can protect you?” 

The little hope that Matteo had gotten quickly went out at his last words.

To be honest, Matteo knew that it would be impossible for the Keller’s to do anything to help Matteo once Mr. Zimmerman had planted the documents. If they even wanted to help him after finding out what he had done to get into their school. 

Mr. Zimmerman could obviously see that what he had said had gotten to Matteo so he gave him an sneering smile again.

“I suggest you really think about what would happen to you if you went ahead and told them.”

And with those words Matteo knew that Mr. Zimmerman had won once again. 

“Fine, I’ll do it,” he said and started to stand up from his chair.

“Wise choice, my boy,” Mr. Zimmerman said and handed him the hard drive. “Next week I want you back here with  _ all _ the information. Understand? And after that I want you to swipe that computer clean of all the information that you have gathered.”

Matteo nodded and made his way to the door. 

One of the men standing there opened it for him and Matteo walked out.

Just before the door closed behind him, he heard Mr. Zimmerman say,” it’s always a pleasure to make business with you, Mr Florenzi.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


One night later that week the boys came over to Matteo’s flatshare to drink some beers. They were all sat on the couch to watch Naomi Keller’s appearance at a german chat show where she was about to promote the book she had written. 

It was a sort of autobiography that focused on the early years of the company and Matteo knew she had worked on it for over seven years. Matteo had been given and early copy of the book and he had to admit that it was an interesting read. Naomi had written about the challenges she experienced as a woman of colour in the field and about how different she and her husband had been treated when approaching fellow researchers. 

As the interview started, Hans, Linn and Mia, all came into the living room and sat down to watch it with them. Hans was basically glowing from the fact that they all were home at the same time.

The host introduced Naomi and she walked out as the audience applauded. Matteo tried to see if he could catch David sitting in the audience but he didn’t see him. Matteo wasn’t sure if David even was in the audience or if he was backstage. 

“I can’t believe that’s your future mother in law,” Abdi said and stared at the screen in wonder. Matteo felt his cheeks heat up but before he could answer Hans hushed them. 

“I want to hear what she’s saying,” he said with a scolding tone. 

The host and Naomi were making pleasant small talk on the screen and Naomi even told a few jokes here and there.

“She’s funny,” Linn said in a flat tone that, had it been anyone other than Linn, Matteo would have taken as sarcasm.

Carlos nodded but he didn’t look away from the screen. “Yeah, she is.”

After awhile the host started to talk about her book and asked questions about it. 

“So is it true that you started writing this book seven years ago?” The host asked in an amazed voice like he couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah that’s true,”she said and nodded her head. “Seven years.”

“Seven years is a very long time,” the host said.

“Well I had very much to say,” Naomi said and there was some laughter coming from the audience. “And I’m also a very busy woman, I’ve had a company to run, children to raise.”

“Oh yes, that’s right,” the host said with an intrigued tone. “You have to children, right?”

“Well two godchildren,” she corrected him but then added. “But they’ve been living with us from a very young age so they definitely feel like our own.”

“Of course,” the host answered. A photo popped up on screen. 

It was a photo of both the Kellers and Schreibners, but it was a really old one. Both Laura and David were wearing toothy smiles. Matteo recognizes it from the mantle in Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s living room.

The audience all simultaneously went,  _ awww _ . 

Abdi elbowed Matteo in the side and said, “Hey that’s your boyfriend.” Matteo couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.

“Oh there you all are”, the host said and looked at the picture. “That’s really sweet. But this was quite long ago, right? How old are they now?”

Naomi was still smiling at the picture but then looked back at the host when she answered. “Laura is 20 and David is 18”

“And am I correct in saying that David is following in your footsteps and pursuing science?” The host said. 

“Yeah he is. He’s a very talented researcher within biomedicine,” she said proudly. Then added, “And he is currently doing a research study about cell duplication.”

“So just normal teenage stuff then,” the host said sarcastically and both the audience and Naomi laughed. 

“Yes exactly, just normal teenage stuff,” she joked back. “No, but he actually does a lot of normal teenage stuff as well. He’s about to graduate school soon, he’s taking his driver's license and he’s dating.” At her last words the people in the living room all started whooping. 

“Yeah he is!” Carlos shouted at the TV. 

“And how are you and Mr. Keller handling that?” The host asked. 

She crossed her leg and smoothed out her skirt. “Oh very good,” she said, an over exaggerated amount of confidence in her voice. The audience laughed. 

“No but really,” she said in a more serious tone. “David has always been very independent, so we haven’t really ever had anything to worry about.”

“Has he ever taken a date home and introduced them to you guys,” The host asked curiously.

“He has,” Naomi answered. She bit her lip and nodded slowly. 

The host turned to the audience this time and said. “Immagine showing up to meet your boyfriend’s parents and then Naomi and Peter Keller opens the door? The poor person must’ve had a terrible shock”

The audience laughed again and so did Naomi. 

“Fortunately, David gave him a heads up in advance, so he wasn’t all that shocked,” She assured them all. “And now I think enough time has passed for him to get used to us.” She put a hand to her chest before continuing, “And I know both me and Peter consider him part the family.”

The people in the living room all whooped again. 

Matteo knew the words should make him happy. He should be happy that Mr and Mrs. Keller thinks so highly of him that they consider him a part of their family, but all he felt was guilt. If they knew what he was doing they would hate him. 

Matteo could feel his friends looking at him so he tried to smile despite the heavy feeling in his stomach

  
  
  
  


Matteo had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night and it didn’t help that David wasn’t in bed next to him. Matteo had gotten used to fall asleep to the soft sound of David’s breathing and his comforting, warm presence.

He tossed and turned for over three hours before finally giving up all together. He bent down to his bag that was on the floor next to his bed and picked up the hard drive. He had managed to get all the information on Mr. Keller’s laptop and even though he should probably feel relieved, all he could feel was overwhelming guilt. 

He desperately wanted someone to talk to and then he realized that there was only one person he actually wanted to talk about this to.

He picked up his phone and stared at the contact he had blocked over a year ago.

  
  
  
  
  


Matteo couldn’t stop staring. There was no way that the woman in front of him was his mom. The woman in front of him looked younger, much younger. Her hair, that before had lacked any sort of luster whatsoever, was now falling in big beautiful brown curls over her shoulders. The eyes, who always looked sad and empty, was now filled with light. The only thing that was exactly the same, was her smile. When Matteo’s mom smiled, which didn’t happen a lot during the last years he spent living with her, Matteo got feeling that everything would work out. 

She gave him this smile now, as she said, “So tell me what you have been up to these past years. I want to know everything.” She put away her menu and focused her attention on Matteo.

They had met up at a restaurant near his mom’s apartment. It was a restaurant that Matteo and his mom had been to several times before and it tugged at Matteo’s heart when he saw that his favorite dish was still on the menu.

Matteo cleared his throat. “Well I’m studying programming at Kellers” 

His mom knew how much he had wanted to get into that school. He had talked about it constantly when growing up.

She smiled widely. “You got in.” Matteo winced at that. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Matteo nodded slowly. He didn’t have the heart to tell her what he had done to get in or about how there was a big possibility he wasn’t gonna be there for much longer.

His mom asked him about his classes and she looked prouder and prouder as Matteo talked about everything. She asked about his friends and Matteo told her about Jonas, the boys and his roomates. When their dinner had come and they had both finished, his mom asked, ”So any other big news you wanna share with me?” 

Matteo knew what he needed to do and he could feel his hand start to sweat. He felt scared. 

It had been a long time since he had come out to someone and he and his mom had just reunited. He didn’t want to say anything that would mess up this fragile thing they had between them.

But he also really wanted to tell her about David.

He wiped his hands on his napkin. “I actually met someone,” he said. His own voice sounded strange to his own ears, as if something was covering them.

His mom looked at him with joyful surprise. “Oh that’s wonderful Matteo. What’s her name?” 

Matteo cringed. Then he took a deep breath and said, “ His name is david.”

His mom gave him a shocked look, blinked a few times and then her face broke into a loving smile.

“David,” she said softly. “That’s a beautiful name.” 

Matteo nodded 

“How did you two meet?” She took a sip from her glass of wine. 

Matteo couldn’t believe that was it. No look of disappointment or a verse from the bible. He couldn’t help his smile. 

“At school,” Matteo said and also took a sip, then he cleared his throat. “ he’s actually the godchild of Mr. and Mrs. Keller” 

His mom got the shocked expression back

“You mean David _ Schreibner _ ?” She asked incredulously.

Matteo nodded. 

“Yeah.” 

She kept staring at him. “You’re telling me, my son is dating  _ the  _ David Schreibner?”

“Yeah,” Matteo said. Then mumbled, “probably not for long though.”

As he said the words he realized how true they were. There was no way that Matteo could go his whole life without telling David what he did. He had tried telling himself that he wouldn’t have to tell him, but now guilt colored every interaction he had with David and that guilt would eventually consume him. He knew he would have to tell him. The thought made Matteo want to throw up. 

His mom got serious again and gave him a worried look. “What happened.” Her voice was full of sympathy. 

Matteo could feel tears prick at his eyes. “I really messed up mom,” his voice broke.

His mom seemed to hesitate for a moment but then she stood up and went over to him. She pulled him into a hug. Matteo buried his head in his hair and smelled her perfume. He had missed that so much. Even though he and his mom had gone through a rough time, he always associated that smell with safety and love.

“So watch yourselves. “if your brothers or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” his mom whispered. Matteo recognized the verse but couldn’t remember the name of it. 

His mother kept whispering reasurances in his ear as she ran her hand through his hair. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered and even though he was wrapped up in the comfort of his mother’s arms, Matteo couldn’t believe her.

  
  
  
  
  
  


David walked up to Matteo in school while he was taking out the textbooks for his class in computer science. 

“Hey,” He said and readjusted his grip on the books in his hands. 

Matteo glanced at him. “Hey.” He continued to look through his locker even though he already had everything he needed.

“I was gonna go to the lab after school and check up in some things, wanna come?” David asked.

They were almost finished with the project and just had a couple of more things to do before David would start to compile the report.

Matteo gave him a quick apologetic smile. “Sorry I can’t. I have to study.” He turned back to his locker but didn’t miss the furrow of David’s eyebrows.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. 

Matteo presser his lips together. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Why?”

David leaned against the locker next to Matteo’s.

“You’ve been acting kinda strange lately, is all,” he said.

Matteo froze. He knew that David was right. He felt like he could never relax and was constantly jittery. He had been avoiding David as much as possible which was really hard since they spent all their nights together. But he was afraid that if they spent too much time talking, he would accidentally say something about the information he was stealing. And then there was also the fact that he felt incredible guilty whenever he looked at David. 

Matteo tried to give David a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, really,” He said and then shrugged. “Just stressed about school.” 

David looked at him like he didn’t completely believe him, but nodded slowly.

“But I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” Matteo asked and kissed David’s cheek. He didn’t even stay around to hear David’s answer and instead took off down the corridor.

  
  
  
  
  
  


A few days later Matteo, once again, found himself sitting opposite Mr. Zimmerman as the man looked through the hard drive.

“And this is everything you could find?”

“Yes, sir,” Matteo said. 

Matteo had gone back to the study every night the past week to work on the transfer. He couldn’t be gone too long because then David would realize that he wasn’t in bed. 

Since Matteo had to wait for everyone in the house to go to sleep he had had very little sleep during week and had found himself falling asleep in class, multiple times. He had even accidentally taken his own hard drive down to the study once and hadn’t realized his mistake until it opened up and he saw a folder named “Abdi-Drunk photos.”

But now, everything was done. 

“Nothing else?” Mr. Zimmerman asked.

“Everything I know is on the hard drive sir”

“And you deleted everything about this from the computer?”

“Yes, sir. Just like you asked.”

Mr. Zimmerman nodded and Matteo held his breath. 

“I think your work is done, Mr Florenzi.”

He let out the breath.

“You can leave,” Mr. Zimmerman said and gestured toward the door. 

Matteo didn’t have to be told twice. He got up and walked out of the building as fast as he could and never looked back.

  
  
  


Matteo threw himself on his bed as soon as he came home. 

He thought he would feel some sort of relief after handing over the hard drive but all he felt was overbearing guilt. 

How could he have done this to Mr and Mrs. Keller? How could he have done this to David? Matteo let out a pained sound and pulled at his hair. 

He picked up his phone and saw that he had a couple of texts from David. Matteo didn’t even open them and instead thru the phone on the chair in his room.

He didn’t think he could face David right now. He wouldn’t be able to act normal in front of him and David would notice that something was wrong. He always did. 

Matteo knew that David knew something was going on with him. He sometimes could feel David looking at him strangely as if he was studying him. David had even tried bringing it up with him a few times, but Matteo had always deflected. He had gotten very good at deflecting over the years.

Eventually David had let it go, but Matteo knew that if he saw him now, he wouldn’t give up until he had gotten an explanation for the state that Matteo was in.

When Matteo had met up with his mom he had decided that he would tell David the truth about everything, but he didn’t think he would be able to at the moment. 

The thought of telling him made him want to throw up and right now he just kind of wanted to sleep and forget that any of this ever happened.

  
  
  
  


After a few hours Matteo decided that he had sulked enough for the time being and went out of his bedroom to get something to eat. 

When he walked past Hans’s bedroom he could see Hans laying on his bed with headphones on, staring on the ceiling.

Matteo knocked on his doorframe. Hans took out his phone and stopped the music but didn’t look at Matteo as he asked, “what?”

When he said it, he sounded so unlike the Hans Matteo was used to, that he didn’t know what to say for a second. His usual chirpy tone was gone and in its place was a flat tone, that Matteo usually associated with Linn.

“You okay?” He finally asked and walked further into the room.

“Oh so now you suddenly care,” Hans said with an unkind tone. 

Matteo was once again taken aback. Hans always spread such joy around him so it was strange to see this other much darker version of Hans. Matteo didn’t like it one bit.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Matteo asked.

Hans finally took of his head phones and pushed himself up on his elbows. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to reconsider and closed it again. He sighed and lay back down again.

“Whatever,” He said.

Matteo hadn’t seen much of Hans for the past few weeks, since he had spent most of his nights at David’s house, so he couldn’t understand what he had done for Hans to be angry with him.

“Hans, come on tell me what’s wrong,” Matteo said. 

“No it’s fine,” Hans said even though it obviously wasn’t. He gestured toward the door. “You probably have someplace better to be anyway.”

_ Ah, there it was _ , Matteo thought. Matteo should have realized that the reason Hans was upset wasn’t because of something Matteo had done but instead because of something he  _ hadn’t  _ done.

Hans was upset that Matteo hadn’t spent much time at home lately.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around that much lately,” Matteo said.

Hans opened one of his eyes to look at Matteo.

“You mean not at all,” he said and then closed his eye again.

Matteo winced. “At all,” he corrected himself. “Look, I’m going to try to be here more.”

Hans say up in his bed and looked at Matteo like he didn’t really believe him. “You promise?” He asked.

Matteo nodded. “Promise,” he confirmed.

Hans breathed out a sigh of relief and pulled Matteo into a hug. “Thank god,” Hans said and squeezed Matteo.

“It just got so lonely without you,” Hans said. “I mean, I don’t like it that Mia is spending all her time at Alex’s or that Linn is always working but at least I used to have you.” 

He released Matteo.

“But then you got together with David, and don’t get me wrong I’m so happy for you Matteo, but it also meant that you started spending all your time with him.

Matteo knew he was right. He had been spending almost all his free time with David lately.

“How about we have a game night on Friday?” Matteo asked. “Just like old times. We’ll even force Mia and Linn to be home as well.”

Hans smiled. “I’d really like that.”

And then his smile disappeared. He grabbed ahold of Matteo’s arm.

“But I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose between me and David,” Hans added hastily. “He’s your boyfriend after all.”

Those words suddenly got Matteo to remember the conversation he and David had yet to have.

“though that may change soon” Matteo muttered miserably.

“What? Why?” Hans asked and now it was his turn to sound worried. 

Matteo released a breath.

“I haven’t been that good to him lately,” Matteo said and looked down at his hands.

“Well, whatever is going on with you two, I’m sure you can work it out,” Hans said and he sounded so sure of his words that Matteo almost believed him. “David loves you so if you just tell him what’s wrong, I’m sure he would understand.”

Matteo didn’t know about the last part. What he had done couldn’t really be excused by a simple conversation.

But he knew that Hans was right about one part. He had to tell David what he had done. He just hoped that he wouldn’t lose him in the process.  
  
  


It turned out that telling David was easier said than done. One and a half month had past and Matteo still wasn’t anywhere close to even knowing where to start.

Every time he was about to bring it up, he managed to think of an excuse of why not to do it. And now it had started to seem like he wouldn’t have to.

The time for the Gala was here and it was even grander than the last one. Matteo had once again been asked to join them and he was now seated between Laura and David at a big round table.

They watched as the heads of different companies walked up on stage and received awards or talked about some new invention they were launching. 

Matteo looked at Mr. and Mrs. Keller as they whispered between them. He knew that they would be the last ones to take the stage and he desperately hoped their presentation went on smoothly without any unwelcome interruptions of a certain someone. 

But, as it turned out, Mr. and Mrs. Keller didn’t even make it to the stage before Mr. Zimmerman completely butchered their plans.

It was the Zimmerman company’s turn to take the stage and as the head of the business, Mr. Zimmerman was the one to do it. 

Matteo immediately got an uneasy feeling.  _ This couldn’t be good. _

He thought about saying something to Mr. and Mrs. Keller but didn’t get the chance before Mr. Zimmerman’s obnoxious voice filled the room.

“It’s a very special evening for the Zimmerman company tonight,” he started to say. “We have something we are going to present for the first time.”

There were murmurs around the crowd.

“Do you know what it is?” Matteo heard Mrs. Keller ask Mr. Keller but he only shook his head.

“We have been working on this for a very long and let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy.”

There were laughter coming from some of the seated tables. Matteo wasn’t one of them.

He dreaded what was about to come. 

“And it is my pleasure to present to you, the Zim.1000.” He clicked on something he was holding in his hand and a picture popped up on the screen behind him. 

Matteo cringed.

He hadn’t even bothered to change the logo.

He looked at Mr.and Mrs. Keller and saw that they were both wearing equal shell shocked expression and they only got worse as Mr. Zimmerman continued talking about the Zim.1000. 

Matteo wanted to disappear through the floor.

  
  
  
  
  
  


After Mr. Zimmerman’s presentation there was a short break in the tight gala schedule. Mr and Mrs. Keller got up and Laura and David both stood to follow them. Matteo didn’t really know what to do but David quickly grabbed his hand and dragged Matteo after him as they went backstage.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mr. Zimmerman was saying as Matteo, David and Laura approached the others. 

They had obviously missed the first part of the conversation.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Mr. Keller said and pointed his finger in Mr. Zimmerman’s face. “You stole our design!”

“Well either way, you can’t prove it.”

“I’ll show them my documents and they’ll see the time stamps on them,” Mr. Keller said.

Mr. Zimmerman rolled his eyes. “You’ve always underestimate me Peter. Don’t you think I’ve thought about that? There is nothing left on that computer of yours.”

Mr. Keller stared at him with an open mouth.

“How is that even possible?”

“Well certain people definitely proved useful,” Mr. Zimmerman said and looked at Matteo.

Mr. Keller stared confusedly between Matteo and Mr. Zimmerman. 

_ No, no, no, this can’t be happening, _ Matteo thought. This wasn’t how everyone was supposed to find out.

“You’re lying.” David spoke up. “Matteo would never do that.” He looked back at Matteo. “Right Matteo?”

David sounded so sure of his words that Matteo felt them like a punch to his gut. 

Matteo couldn’t meet his gaze and stayed quiet.

“Matteo?”

David’s voice was less sure when he said Matteo's name this time.

Matteo finally looked up to meet his eyes and his heart broke at the horrified look David was giving him.

“I’m sorry-“ Matteo began but stopped as David shook his head, turned around on his heal and ran out of the room. 

Matteo could hear Mr. Keller and Mr. Zimmerman still arguing but it was like he was underwater and couldn’t quite hear what they were saying.

He ran out after David.

  
  
  
  
  


David had made it outside of the venue that the gala was held at, when Matteo caught up to him.

“Please let me explain,” Matteo said. Desperation evident in his voice. 

He touched David’s arm but David tore it out of his grip.

“Don’t touch me,” David said and continued walking down the street.

“David please listen to me!” Matteo yelled after him.

David stopped. Matteo could see him taking a deep breath before turning around and saying, “okay, I’ll listen.”

Matteo didn’t know where to start. Should he tell him about the blackmailing, the cheating or the stealing. 

He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

“I thought so,” David said and continued to walk away.

“No, wait-“ Matteo began to say but David turned around and interrupted him.

“I don’t understand how could you do this to me?”

Matteo hated the way that David looked in that moment. Hurt and so, so, betrayed.

“I never meant to hurt you,” Matteo finally said. “I…” He trailed of again, not knowing what to say. 

“And this?” David asked and gestured between them. “You and me? Was all that just pretend?” He almost spat the words out but Matteo could hear the hurt behind them.

“No! Of course not.”

Matteo looked at him shocked...Surely David could not think that. He must know how Matteo felt about him and that Matteo…

“David I love you.”

Neither of them had said it since that night when David had gotten drunk. Matteo was pretty sure that David didn’t remember it. And now Matteo had went and said the words with even worse timing than David had.

David stared at him and Matteo saw tears gather in his eyes. 

“Then tell me what he said wasn’t true,” David pleated. “Tell me you had nothing to do with it”

Matteo felt something wet on his cheek and realised he was crying too.

“I can’t.” The words came out all broken and raw.

David shook his head. “I can’t be here right now,” he said and began walking away again.

“David please!” Matte said, desperate to make David stay. But it was no use.

“Leave me alone, Matteo.”

David opened the door to a cab and got in.

Matteo stood on the curb and watched the cab drive away.

He didn’t move for a long time. Not when other people started to make their way home, not when the church clock rang twelve bells, not when a lady came and asked him if he was okay, and not when the rain started to fall.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is he?” Matteo whispered. 
> 
> “Not that good,” Jonas said and Matteo shut his eyes again. 
> 
> “Did he tell you what happened?” 
> 
> Matteo figured he probably hadn’t since Jonas hadn’t said anything about it and if he did know about it, he probably would have been a lot angrier with Matteo right now after finding out what he had done to David.
> 
> “No? he didn’t wanna tell me,” Jonas said and Matteo nodded. “I was hoping maybe you would though, if you want to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: this chapter contains depiction and descriptions of depression. It also contains an implied suicide attempt, though not from the main character.

Matteo didn’t even bother to look up when Hans knocked on his door and opened it. He was laying on his side, blankets tightly wrapped around him, turned away from the door, but he could still hear Hans’s footstep as he walked further into the room. 

Matteo hadn’t left his room much the past few days and based on the way he felt right now, he probably wouldn’t be doing it any of the coming days either.

All he wanted to do was sleep, because when he slept, it eased his pain a little bit. It didn’t disappear completely though and it wasn’t a peaceful sleep. He would wake up in cold sweats several times an hour and the guilt he felt threatened to suffocate him.

He had ruined everything. David hated him, Mr. and Mrs. Keller had lost something they had been working on for years, and it was all Matteo’s fault. He had no one to blame but himself.

Matteo had chosen to do this even though he could have prevented it, if he just wasn’t such a coward. He was scared of losing his future in programming and before the Gala, that had seemed like the biggest loss he could ever have imagined. But now he knew that the biggest loss was losing David. 

Matteo felt like being a lier was the main trait of his character right now. All he had done for the past years of his life was to lie. He had lied to his mom about not leaving her. Then he had lied to get into the school. And then he had lied to David when he had said that he would never hurt him.

Matteo shut his eyes, hard. 

Why couldn’t he just had told David about everything from the beginning? Or at least had told him before David had to find out in the worst possible way.

He could still see David standing at the side of the curb, looking at Matteo with such hurt in his eyes. Hurt that Matteo had caused. 

“Are you hungry?” Hans asked in a soft voice. 

He hadn’t walked around the bed and Matteo appreciated him keeping his distance.

He hadn’t told Hans what had happened but Hans seemed to have gathered enough information to know that Matteo and David had broken up. 

He came to Matteo’s room once in a while and tried to get him to talk but Matteo always ignored him. This time was no different.

Matteo didn’t answer him. 

He really didn’t want to be mean to Hans but he also didn’t have it in him to care about anything right now.

And he hadn’t really had much of an appetite in the last day anyways, and had only managed a few crackers. 

“Well, let me know if you need anything,” Hans said and closed the door to Matteo’s room behind him. 

Matteo opened his eyes again. 

He looked at his nightstand where his phone was and, even though he knew it was pointless, he picked it up and checked for any new messages from David. 

There was nothing.

Matteo had known that but still he felt another wave of nausea come over him. 

He closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo could hear people in the kitchen of the flatshare. After a little more listening he came to the conclusion that it was Mia and Hanna and from what he could gather from their conversation, they were studying for one of their exams. 

The thought of studying felt so foreign to Matteo at the moment. He felt like he hadn’t been to school for several weeks, even though it was just five days. 

He listened to their conversation while he was still wrapped up in his blankets and after awhile he heard Hanna ask, “Is Matteo home?”

Matteo felt his heart rate pick up. He really didn’t want them to come looking for him.

It was one thing for Hans or Jonas to see him like this, it had happened many times before, but he really didn’t want any of his other friends to know. 

“I don’t know,” Mia said and Matteo could tell she was trying to talk quietly in case he was him, so that he wouldn’t hear. But that obviously wasn’t working. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen him around lately,” Hanna said.

Mia shrugged and said. “He and David is probably at David’s place.”

Matteo felt the words like a stab to the heart.  _ He and David. _

The girls stopped talking about him after that and started studying again, but their conversation played on a loop in Matteo’s head.

From the way they spoke it seemed like no one new about what had happened at the gala and everyone still seemed to think that him and David were together. Matteo didn’t know how to feel about that. He knew Jonas and the boys probably knew since they were friends with David too. He had gotten several texts from all of them but hadn’t bothered to open any of them.

He guessed he felt a little relieved that the rest of the school seemed to be unknowing about the incident. A part of Matteo had thought that David might have told everyone about what Matteo had done, but that part of him felt guilty now. David would never do anything like that. He wasn’t the Asshole here, Matteo was.

Matteo’s stomach growled and, to his surprise, he actually felt hungry. 

He knew he should probably get up to get something to eat, but there was no chance that he would go out there when Mia and Hanna were still there. 

He was nowhere near ready to see people and have an actual conversation. Except for with maybe one person. Even if he didn’t want it right now, he knew that it would probably make him feel better.

He grabbed his phone on the nightstand and texted Jonas.

  
  
  
  
  


Matteo made sure that no one was home when Jonas came over and the two of them were now sitting at the kitchen table opposite each other. It felt weird to finally leave his room for more than three minutes but it also felt good. It felt like an accomplishment even though it wasn’t anything big. He had even managed to take a shower which felt like an even bigger accomplishment.

Jonas talked about what he had been up to the past few days while Matteo stayed silent and played with the hem of his sleeve. 

Matteo had thought about how he was going to start this whole conversation about what had happened, but he also figured that he wouldn’t have to and that Jonas would do it for him. That is how it usually went with the two of them. 

And he seemed to have been right because after a few minutes Jonas said, “So...you haven’t been in school lately.” It wasn’t really a question but Matteo answered him anyway.

“Yeah, no,” he said, quietly. His voice wasn’t really used to speaking after spending so many days completely silent. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything else.

“You know that you can talk to me bro. About anything,” Jonas said. “I want to help.”

Matteo felt a lump form in his throat at Jonas’s words. He wanted to tell Jonas that he didn’t understand. Matteo didn’t deserve his help or anyone else’s. He had done this to himself and no one would be able to fix it. 

He didn’t say any of this though and instead asked, “Have you talked to David?”

“Yeah, a little,” Jonas said. He looked at Matteo with sad eyes and Matteo winced. If Jonas knew what he had done, he wouldn’t feel sorry for him. 

“How is he?” Matteo whispered. 

“Not that good,” Jonas said and Matteo shut his eyes again. 

“Did he tell you what happened?” 

Matteo figured he probably hadn’t since Jonas hadn’t said anything about it and if he did know about it, he probably would have been a lot angrier with Matteo right now after finding out what he had done to David.

“No? he didn’t wanna tell me,” Jonas said and Matteo nodded. “I was hoping maybe you would though, if you want to.”

He did want to. Even if he knew it might mean that Jonas would be angry with him, he wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to tell the person who knew him the best and who had been there for his lowest days. He wanted to tell Jonas everything that had happened with David, with Mr. Zimmerman and even what he had done with his entrance exam. He wanted to let it all out. 

And so he did. 

It went slow in the beginning and Matteo was struggling to find the words, but after a while it started to get easier. 

He told Jonas about the letter and about how he went to see Mr. Zimmerman. He told him about the blackmailing and how Mr. Zimmerman had proof that he had changed his entrance exam results. And then he told him about what had happened at the Gala and how he had ruined everything. 

After Matteo had finished, Jonas was quiet for a long time. 

“I can’t believe he did that to you,” Jonas finally said.

Matteo was surprised. That was not what he thought Jonas would say at all. He thought that Jonas would be upset and yell at him for doing something so wrong. 

“You’re not mad?” Matteo asked and he hated how weak his voice sounded. 

Jonas looked at him with wide eyes. “Of course not. Why would I be mad?”

“Because what I did was wrong. I hurt David and I messed everything up for Mr. and Mrs. Keller,” Matteo said.

Jonas went quiet again and seemed to be thinking hard about what to say next.

“You messed up Matteo, I’ll give you that. And there are probably a thousand better ways you could have handled this.” Matteo winced. “But I’m not mad. I can understand why you did what you did.”

Matteo felt the lump in his throat start to form again and he swallowed to make it go away.

“And i think David will to, if you tell him,” jonas said in a soft voice. Matteo wanted to believe him, but he really doubted it. What he had done couldn’t be forgiven that easily. 

Of course none of that mattered if David didn’t even want to see Matteo. 

“He doesn’t wanna talk to me,” Matteo said and looked down. “Not that I can blame him.”

Jonas took one of Matteo’s hands that were clasped on the table and squeezed it. “Give him time,” he said. “I’m sure he’ll be willing to listen when he’s ready.” Matteo looked at Jonas and, not for the first time, he felt incredibly grateful to have him as a friend.

“Thank you,” Matteo whispered.

He really hoped that Jonas was right and that he would get the chance to tell David everything he had told Jonas today. Even though David might not forgive him, he wanted him to know the whole story of what had happened. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Matteo could see light at the end of the tunnel.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Can you tell me how you feel right now Matteo?” Susanna asked him.

“Angry.”

He hadn’t been to see her in over three months so it had definitely been time that he went there. Especially after how he had been feeling the past few weeks. He had just told her about everything that had happened with Mr. Zimmerman and Matteo knew that it had to be a lot of information to take in. Last time he saw her, he and David hadn’t even gotten together yet, and now he was talking about their break up and everything that came with it. Susanna was doing a good job of staying calm and rational, though. 

“And who are you angry with?” She said in her typical therapist voice.

“Myself,” Matteo muttered. “For always being such a fuck up.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Like I knew that I should have just told the Kellers about Mr. Zimmerman. I shouldn’t have cared about getting exposed and getting kicked out of school. And now I’ve just ruined their lives.” 

“Why didn’t you tell them?” Susanna asked.

“Because…” Matteo said in a shaky voice. ”For three years now, graduating from that school has felt like the most important thing in the world. Everything else was so shit but at least I had that. And I felt like if I couldn’t do that, my whole life would collapse.” 

Susanna uncrossed her legs and leaned forward a bit in her chair. “Matteo, your reaction to what Mr. Zimmerman said he would do to you, is understandable. When someone threatens us we do whatever we can to feel safe.”

“Yeah, but then I continued lying to David and the Kellers,” Matteo said.

“And why did you do that?”

Matteo hesitated before finally saying, “I thought about telling them. Or telling David at least. I mean I really did.” He took a long breath before continuing. “But every time I was about to, I just couldn’t. I don’t know why, it was just as if my brain couldn’t find the words.” 

“Do you think that maybe this was also a form of self preservation?” Susanna said and wrote something down in her notebook. 

_ Hell if I know,  _ Matteo thought, but out loud he said: “Maybe.” He sighed. “I think I was just really scared of losing David. And now I’ve lost him anyway.” He buried his face in his hands.

“Why didn’t you tell them after the first time you met with Mr. Zimmerman. Before you had stolen the information”

Matteo looked up at her. Why was she asking such hard questions? He shrugged and looked down at the hands in his lap.

“I don’t know. I guess I was scared that they wouldn’t believe me, or that they would, but that they still wouldn’t be able to stop Mr. Zimmerman from releasing all that information about me.”

Susanna nodded like this made perfect sense but Matteo had started to get frustrated. He had gone to see her in the hope of feeling better but he still felt just as bad as he had before. 

“I don’t know what to do. I just…” He tried to calm himself down again. 

“I just want…” He trailed off unsure if he should say his next words.

“What do you want,” asked Susanna, softly. 

When Matteo spoke his words were no louder than a whisper. 

“I just want to feel like myself again. But I’m not sure I know who that is anymore.”

Susanna studied him for a few seconds before putting away her notebook on the table. She fixed Matteo with her gaze. “I think all this guilt you have inside you, is really harmful, Matteo,” she started. “And I think you won’t be completely rid of it until you have admitted to some of the wrongs you have done.”

He was confused by her words at first. The Kellers and David already knew what he had done and Susanna knew that. But then he realized what she meant.

“You think I should tell the school about what I did?” Matteo asked.

“Look Matteo, I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to but I think that if you keep this secret, the guilt you feel will only get worse and worse until it has the potential to break you completely. 

He thought about her words. Maybe she was right. Maybe it would take some of the pain and guilt away and make it more bearable. But the thought of telling the school…Matteo wasn’t sure he could do it. 

“Do you really think it would make things better,” Matteo asked in a small voice.

Susanna gave him a sympathetic smile and said, “I think it could be worth a shot. But I think you have to make a decision about what’s more important to you. Graduating from that school or feeling better.”

There was a time when Matteo would have thought those two things were connected. The whole reason he had changed his exam results was to finally be happy again. But now he knew it wasn’t all that simple. All of his problems hadn’t magically gone away just because he had started at Kellers. They had even gotten worse. And maybe it was time he faced that truth and tried to make things right. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It took Matteo a few more days to back to school after seeing his therapist. He really didn’t want to go there and see David but he couldn’t afford to miss anymore of his classes. 

When he walked through the doors of the school for the first time in weeks, he thought he could feel everybody’s eyes on him, but that was just him being paranoid. According to Jonas, no one at school still new about what had happened at the gala.

None of his friends asked where he had been or about what had happened between him and David, and Matteo was grateful. He wasn’t really ready to tell anyone of his friends other than Jonas. That conversation had been hard enough. 

When he walked in, ten minutes late to biology class, Amira looked up from her notebook and gave him a smile. 

He sat down beside her and took out his things. He could tell that Amira was looking at him and wanted to say something. She looked to their teacher to see if she was paying them any attention.

“Class has been really boring without you,” she finally whispered. 

Matteo’s eyebrows shot up I surprise at her words. Amira wasn’t really one to give compliments. Not that this was really a compliment but as good as. 

“Really?” He asked and opened up his notebook.

“Yeah, I missed your dumbass questions,” she said and shrugged.

Matteo smiled. There was the Amira he knew and loved. 

They continued working in silence for a few minutes and then Amire spoke up again.

“You can borrow my notes, if you want,” she said quietly so that their teacher didn’t hear her. “You know, from the classes you missed.”

It was a small gesture but it still made Matteo smile. 

“Thank you, that would be great.” He said.

Amira smiled and nodded before looking back to the blackboard.

  
  
  
  


His meeting with the principle was a short one. He told her what he had done and she told him that the school would get back to him when they had reached a decision about what his future at the school. He couldn’t help but worry about what that decision would be, but he also knew that worrying would do him no good, his fate was in the schools hands now.

Susanna had been right though. It did lessen a lot of the guilt he had been feeling. A weight had been taken of his chest and even if there were still many left, this at least felt like a start.

Matteo soon went back to his usual routine, before he had met David. He went to all his classes, he smoked joints with Jonas and he went to study in the library with Amira. 

He found out that Amira and Mohammed were together now and Matteo were genuinely happy for them. 

He saw David a couple of times in the hallways, surrounded by his friends. 

They never talked or made eye contact but everytime Matteo saw him, he couldn’t help but remember the soft touches they had shared and the sweet words they had whispered in each others ears. 

Matteo missed him like crazy. 

But he was still able to find himself again. He went back to see Susanna a few more times, he and his roommates had game nights, he hung out with the boys and even managed to go to a of couple parties again. 

After a month it started to seem like maybe the world wouldn’t end after all.

But then he got a call. 

He was in the living room with Hans watching something on TV, when his phone started ringing. It was an unknown number and Matteo answered it hesitantly. 

“Hello?”

“Hello is this Matteo Florenzi?” A woman’s voice came from the other end. 

“Yes, that’s me,” Matteo answered. He still had no idea what this was about. He couldn't recognize her voice.

“I’m calling from the  _ St. Joseph  _ Hospital about your mother Maura Florenzi. I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

Matteo felt himself shrink in on himself the more he listened to her speak. 

He hadn’t spoken to his mom since he last saw her. He had gotten a few texts from her but he hadn’t taken any time to answer them since he had been busy catching up with school and life in general. He regretted that now though. 

He listened on as the woman from the hospital went on speaking. She told him that his mother had been stabilized and that she was going to be fine. Matteo knew he should be happy to hear that but he only felt guilt about it happening in the first place. Maybe if Matteo hadn’t ignored her she wouln’t have done what she did. 

“You can come down to the hospital to visit her if you want to,” The woman was saying on the other side of the phone. “Just go to the reception and tell them her name.”

“Thank you,” Matteo said 

“No problem, Mr. Florenzi.” 

Matteo hung up. Hans looked at him questionably and opened his mouth to ask Matteo a question but Matteo shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. 

He stood up from the couch, made his way to his room and shut the door behind him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo stopped going to school again. He texted Jonas to let him know what had happened and Jonas asked if he wanted him to come over but Matteo said no. He didn’t want to see anyone right now. 

He felt completely exhausted but he still wasn’t able to sleep. No matter how hard he tried or how long he waited, it just wouldn’t happen. 

So he spent three sleepless days, thinking about his mom and blaming himself for what had happened. 

He didn’t think he was having another episode though. It felt very different from how he usually felt when he got bad. All he could feel then, was numbness. Nothing he or anyone else did seemed to matter. He could spend endless days in his bed not caring about anything at all.

But now he had the opposite problem. Now he was feeling everything. And it was way to much. The pain and guilt felt like it would swallow him whole.

He couldn’t help but think about what would have happened if no one had found her. If she would be gone forever. 

Matteo hadn’t been to visit his mom yet and to be honest he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Seeing her in a hospital bed would make all this to real.

Matteo couldn’t handle real at the moment. 

After four days there was a knock on the door to the apartment. Matteo was surprised since most people had to be buzzed into the building. 

He took a long time to get out of bed. His limbs felt heavy and sore. 

He finally made it to the door and opened it. 

Matteo’s heart stopped.

David was on the other side.

He was wearing one of his beanies and a black jacket that Matteo had always thought he looked really good in. 

David scratched his head.

“Hi,” he said, a little hesitantly.

“Hi,” Matteo said.

David cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Can I come in?” He asked.Matteo couldn’t believe that David had showed up at his door. 

Even though they weren’t on god terms at the moment, it still felt so good to see him.

He stepped away to let David in and closed the door behind him.

David took of his beanie and jacket and put them on a chair in the hall. He ran a hand through his hair and Matteo had to look away. Memories of his own hands running through David’s hair surfaced and threatened to pull him down in the sea of other things he and David had done.

He gestured toward the kitchen and they both went in and sat opposite each other at the kitchen table.

They were quiet for a while. Matteo didn’t know what to say and he guessed David didn’t either. 

Then David spoke up.

“I heard about what happened,” he said and gave Matteo a look of sympathy.

Matteo looked down at his hands that he had clasped on the table.

“Who told you?” he said and noticed how tired he sounded. Like all the energy he had ever had, had drained out of him.

“Jonas,” David said. Matteo should have figured. He couldn’t even be mad at Jonas for it. He knew Jonas only wanted to help.

“He also told me that you’ve kind of been isolating yourself,” David added.

Matteo remained quiet.

After a few seconds David asked, “is she gonna be okay?” His voice soft.

Matteo hadn’t talked about what had happened to his mom out loud before and he could feel a lump form in his throat.

“The doctors seem to think so,” he managed and fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve.

David nodded. Then said, “And you? How are you feeling?”

Matteo could feel tears prick at his eyes and knew he wouldn’t be able to answer that question without starting to cry. He settled for a shrug instead, but tears still threatened to spill over.

David didn’t hesitate to get up from his chair and to wrap his arms around Matteo. He held him close to his chest.

That was it for Matteo. Tears started to spill down his cheeks and sobs shook through his body.

It was as if the familiar feeling of David’s arms around him had opened up a dam in Matteo and now that it was open, it was impossible to close it again.

He cried over everything that had happened over the past days, the past weeks and the past month. Everything that he had felt during this time that he had been trying to push down deep inside him. He let it all out.

He buried his face in David’s neck and he thought about how he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any sort of comfort from David after what he had done. Matteo had been awful to David.

But still he let David hold him as tears continued to spill down his cheeks, unable to let go. He hung on desperately, afraid that David was suddenly gonna disappear. 

But David stayed where he was, holding Matteo tighter.

When Matteo had finally stopped crying he untangled himself from David and wiped at his eyes.

“It’s my fault.” He whispered. David was still kneeling before him, holding onto Matteo’s hand. “I stopped answering her texts. I started ignoring her again. If I had only talked to her then none of this-“

“Matteo stop,” David interrupted him. He squeezed Matteo’s hand and willed him to look at him. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened to her. She wouldn’t want that either. Right now you just have to focus on being there for her.” His words were soft.

Matteo felt a wave of crashing guilt come over him again. He winced.

“I haven’t even been to visit her yet.” He wiped away a few more tears that had fallen from his eyes.

David looked at him and seemed to make up his mind about something.

“I could go with you if you want?”

Matteo looked at him surprised. The thought of going there with David was much easier to handle, than the thought of going there alone. But he still couldn’t believe that David had offered to do this.

“You would do that?” He asked.

“Of course,” David said. He shifted on his knees. “Matteo, even if things have been… strained between us lately, I still care a lot about you.” Matteo felt like he could cry again. Hearing David say those words meant the world to him.”And if it would make you feel better about going there, the yes, I’ll come.”

Matteo looked at the boy in front of him. This wonderful by who had showed up to see if Matteo was okay even after all the things Matteo had done to him. 

Even if things weren’t what they used to be between them, Matteo was still so grateful for anything David was willing to give him.

  
  
  
  
  


Matteo changed into something a little more appropriate for going outside the apartment and then they made their way to the hospital.

They didn’t talk much during the way there, both of them wrapped up in their own thoughts. 

Matteo had no idea what he would say to his mother when he saw her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was about everything and for everything that had happened, but he didn’t know how.

They went to the reception and Matteo told them his mother's name. The woman behind the counter smiled and walked them to a room in a long corridor. 

David took Matteo’s hand and gave it a squeeze before they opened the door and walked inside.

Matteo thought he was ready to see his mom in the hospital bed, but the sight of all the wires hooked up to her still made him wince. 

He almost wanted to turn around and walk outside again, but then his mom turned her head and saw him.

Her face broke into a heart warming smile and Matteo felt the familiar lump in his throat again. How much could one person cry in a day?

“My sweet boy,” his mom said. She still sounded like how Matteo remembered her voice. Warm and smooth.

Matteo took a few steps forward and took his mom’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Matteo,” his mom said and Matteo felt his heart break.

“No I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not coming to see you earlier and for not responding to your messages.” Matteo said and sat down on the edge of her bed.

She shook her head and squeezed his hand.

“You’re here now,” she said with glassy eyes. “That’s what matters.”

Matteo nodded and then saw his mom focus on something behind him. 

“And you brought someone with you.”

Matteo turned around and saw that she was looking to where David was still standing by the door.

“Um, yes,” Matteo said and waved David forward. “This is David.”

David shook his mom’s hand and added, “I’m Matteo’s boyfriend. It’s really nice to meet you, Mrs. Florenzi”

His mom gave Matteo a knowing smile.

”Oh so you are David,” she said and smiled at him. “My son told me about you.”

David looked at Matteo and Matteo could tell he was confused. He hadn’t said anything to David about meeting his mom a few months ago. 

David looked back at his mom and gave her a sweet smile. 

”So you are the boy my Matteo has gone and fallen head over heels for?”

David looked at Matteo and smiled a little.

“He got me pretty good too,” he said as he turned back to Matteo’s mom.

David’s words tugged at Matteo’s heart but he knew David probably only said them as an act in front of his mom. 

He shook his head to clears his thoughts and looked on as his mom and David quietly talked to each other 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“So..” Matteo said as they walked out of the hospital. 

“So…” David repeated. 

“You told my mom that you were my boyfriend,” he said and looked at David.

David was wearing an unreadable expression and didn’t say anything for a while.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” He finally said.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


They sat down on a bench in a park near Matteo’s apartment. 

“I got your text,” David said. “Or  _ texts _ ,” he corrected himself.

Matteo gave out a little laugh.

“You said you wanted to explain,” David continued. “And I…” he hesitated,” I think I’m ready to listen.”

“Did Jonas tell you anything?” Matteo asked

“Not really,” David said. “But he did tell me that I should hear you out.”

Matteo nodded.

He took a deep breath and started, for the third time, to tell someone what had happened with Mr. Zimmerman. He didn’t go into a lot of details when talking about changing his exam results and only said that he had been having a rough time because of the divorce. Not mentioning that that he suffered from depression. There wasn’t really a point in bringing it up since the thing between him and David was over anyway.

David was very quiet while Matteo was speaking and even after he had finished.

When he finally spoke it wasn’t at all what Matteo was expecting.

“I’ve heard you speak about what happened with your parents before, but I didn’t know it was that bad,” David said.

_ You don’t know half of it, _ Matteo thought. He looked down at his hands. “Yeah, well,” he said quietly. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me what was going on?”

That was a question that Matteo had expected but he still didn’t have a good enough answer. He tried anyway.

“I was scared,” he said, honestly. “Scared that Mr. Zimmerman would release the information if he found out that I had told anyone. But I wanted to tell you, I really did. And I was going to, but…I just couldn’t find the words.”

David stayed quiet for a few seconds, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“What you did was stupid and awful,” he said. Matteo nodded. “But I think I can understand why you did it.”

Matteo blinked at him. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“I was so angry at you after I found out,” David continued. “But mostly I was just hurt. I thought that maybe the reason why you got together with me in the first place, was to get the information.”

Matteo winced at that. 

“But I think I knew deep down that wasn’t true.”

“I never wanted to hurt you David. And I’m so sorry for everything I did.”

David nodded. “Well,” He said and cleared his throat. “ Thank you for telling me all of this.” He looked at Matteo. “I don’t know if everything can go back to the way it used to be or if I’m  even ready for that. But I’m willing to give us another shot. If that’s what you want, that is.”

Matteo’s mouth fell open. Never in his whole life had he thought that David would be willing to get back together after what he had done. He had dreamed about it, of course. But he had never actually thought it would happen. What Matteo had done was unforgivable. He had wanted to explain himself to David so that he would understand that he hadn’t meant to hurt him, and for David to get the whole story. Not because he thought David would forgive him if he just knew why Matteo had done what he had done. He had thought that maybe they could be friends, at best. He had never expected to get this reaction.

“You want to get back together? After everything I just told you?” He couldn’t hide the surprise he felt.

“If you want to,” David said.

“But I was awful to you and I destroyed every-“ David interrupted him.

“You made a mistake Matteo,” he said and looked at him with a serious expression. “But you’re not a bad person.”

When Matteo still continued to look at David with wide eyes and didn’t respond, David sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look Matteo, I forgive you for what you did. And I really don’t think this is worth throwing away everything we had. Do you?”

Matteo shook his head hesitantly.

“So  _ do you  _ want to get back together?” David asked again.

Matteo felt the pressure of tears in his eyes for the third time that day. David was saying words that Matteo had never thought he would hear him say and he really wanted to throw himself in David’s arms and tell him that,  _ yes, that’s all I want, _ but he knew that there was something else he had to share before that. The conversation about what had happened before starting school, that he had just put off from having, was coming a lot sooner than he had thought. He knew that David deserved to know the whole story. Matteo had thought that his mental health wouldn’t be a problem anymore, and therefore hadn’t felt the need to tell David about it before, but the last few weeks had confirmed that it wasn’t something he could just ignore. 

He avoided David’s gaze and nodded his head. “I really want that. But there is something I think you should know,” Matteo said. “Something I haven’t told you.”

He swallowed.

“The thing my mom have,” He hesitated and looked at David who was looking at him with attentive eyes. “I have it to.” For some reason he couldn’t say the word “depression” out loud to David. 

But he didn’t have to say the word for David to understand what he was talking about, and Matteo could see his eyes widen at his words. David stared at him for a few seconds longer before looking down in his lap where his hands were clasped. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head a little as he looked back at Matteo.

“I…,” He started and scratched his head. “I had no idea.”

Matteo couldn’t read the tone of his voice. He couldn’t tell if David was upset for not telling him earlier or not.

“How long have you known?” David asked.

Matteo bit his lip. He wasn’t used to talking about this with anyone other than his therapist.

“For almost two years,” he answered. 

David nodded slowly but didn’t say anything else.

Matteo took a deep breath. Now that he had started, he might as well tell everything.

“It pretty much started when everything with my dad happened. I kinda lost all motivation to do anything. And I knew the entrance exam was coming up but I just… I couldn’t get myself to study, “ He shook his head at his own words. “I almost didn’t make it out of bed the morning of the exam.”

He remembered how heavy his limbs had felt and how impossible everything else had felt. In the moment he hadn’t really cared about getting into the school or not and hadn’t seen the point of even doing anything anymore. But somewhere in the back of his head, he had sensed that there used to be a part of him that actually wanted to get into this school. A part of him that had thought that this was important. And he had thought that if he listened to that part of his brain, maybe things would get better and he could stop feeling like this. Like if the world was just a whole bunch of nothingness. And it was only because of this little part of him, the little voice in the back of his head, that he had gotten out of bed and made it to the exam.

“All I wanted was to stop feeling like that.” He took a shaky breath. “That’s why I changed my exam results. Getting into the school seemed like the only solution.” He looked at David who had his lips pressed tightly together, as he listened to Matteo speak. “I thought it would get better when school started and it did, for a while. But then it got really bad again.“ Matteo wiped at a tear that was rolling down his cheek. “Hans eventually got me to see a therapist and it helped. It has gotten a lot better since then.”

They were silent for a minute and Matteo studied David’s face. He didn’t think he could see any anger there. what he did see was, to his surprise, sadness. David looked down at his hands again as he spoke. “And how are you doing now?”

Of course David would find it within him to be kind and caring in a situation like this, even if Matteo just had admitted to keeping something from him for months. 

“I’m doing okay. Things got kinda bad after we broke up but I hadn’t been doing that great before that either so I think it was just the last straw,” Matteo said and ran a hand through his hair. It was true what he said. He had started getting worse ever since his first meeting with Mr. Zimmerman and maybe even some time before that. He had tried to do his best to deny it and act like everything was fine, but that didn’t really work in the long run.

He tried to smile at David as he said his next words. “But I’m doing better now, all things considered.”

David didn’t smile back but he nodded. “Good.” He stared of into the distance.

Matteo looked at him and then said, “Look I wanted to tell you because... things can get really bad sometimes. And it can be a lot, so I understand if you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.”

David was quiet for a long time. Matteo was sure this was it. David had finally realised what a mess of a person Matteo was and it had gotten to much. But then David turned back to look at him and took his hand.

“Thanks for sharing this with me, I know it couldn’t have been easy,” David said, softly.

Matteo was a bit thrown of by what he had said, but nodded slowly. 

“And I want you to know that it doesn’t change anything for me,” David continued. “I want what I said before. I still want to get back together.”

Matteo shook his head. David didn’t understand. Matteo had been an awful person to David, lying on months on end, and now add his mental illness on top of that. Matteo couldn’t to that to him. David deserved better. 

“It’s not easy being with someone like me. That’s the whole reason why my parents got a divorce. My dad couldn’t handle it anymore.”

He needed to explain to David how it all would end up, and why being together with him would only hurt David.

“I can’t let you do this David, you deserve better than this,” Matteo whispered and looked down at their joined hands. 

David sighed. “I’m sorry for what happened between your parents, Matteo. But we are not them.” David said and there was a firmness in his voice when he said it. He let out a breath. “Look, Matteo. I’m not being naive. I know it’s not gonna be easy all the time. But why can’t we do this together? Help each other?”

Matteo was still too shocked to say anything. This was not how he had imagined this conversation at all. 

“Do you remember what you said to me after our first kiss?” David said and angled his body toward Matteo on the bench. “You asked me to let you decide what you do and don’t deserve. Now I’m asking you to do the same to me. I love you Matteo, and I want to be with you, always. Things will get hard sometimes but then we will deal with it. Together.”

Matteo blinked away tears and couldn’t help the small smile that made in onto his face.

“So you’re telling me that despite of all the things I’ve done and despite all the things I’ve just told you, you still want to be with me?” He asked.

“Yes, that is what I’m saying.” David said matter of factly and Matteo let out a shaky laugh. He squeezed Matteo’s hand. “Now tell me it’s what you want as well.”

Matteo looked and the boy in front of him, who loved him despite all of his flaws, despite all of his ugly truths and despite all of the thing he had just told him. He had been afraid of this conversation for so long. It had never ended happily in his imagination. It always ended in heartbreak and loneliness. But that wasn’t Matteo and David and Matteo realized he should have known that David would love him no matter what. David wasn’t a person to give up easily and Matteo knew that even when things got hard, they would get through them, together. 

He gave a squeeze back to David’s hand and said, “Yes, I want that.”

David leaned in and closed the space between them. His lips touched Matteo’s and Matteo melted against him. He had missed this so much. 

He brought his hands up to David’s hair and David’s hands cupped Matteo’s face.

When they broke apart Matteo had the first genuine smile on his lips in weeks.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Mr. and Mrs. Keller must be so angry with me,” Matteo said as he laid with his head resting on David’s chest. 

They were back in Matteo’s apartment and were laying on his bed. David was drawing patterns on his arm with his fingers.

“Yeah they were pretty upset about what happened,” Davis confirmed. “But I think they will understand if you tell them what you told me.”

Matteo nodded but didn’t say anything more.

It was hard to share so much of himself with someone and he didn’t like to relive the thing that had happened with Mr. Zimmerman over and over again.

But Mr. and Mrs. Keller still deserved an explanation.

“If they’re willing to hear me out, I’ll tell them,” he said finally. “But I’m fine with you telling them as well,” he added and looked up at David.

Mr. and Mrs. Keller might not want to see him at the moment so maybe it was better if David told them anyway. 

David brushed the hair away from Matteo’s forehead. “I can do that,” he said.

He took Matteo’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“So what are they going to do about the whole thing,” Matteo asked a few minutes later.

David sighed. “Well Peter wants to take it to court but their lawyers say it’s no use because we don't have any evidence that we came up with the program first.”

Matteo took a deep breath and then asked, hesitantly, “Do you…” He paused to swallowed. “Do you think it would help if I testified against Mr. Zimmerman?”

The thought made him break into sweats. Sharing what had happened with so many people wouldn’t be easy, but he felt like he owe it to Mr. and Mrs. Keller after what he had done. If he could help out in any way, he would.

David studied him for a long time and then said, “I honestly don’t know. Maybe.”

“Well if they want me to do it,” Matteo said and tried to sound more confident than he felt. “I will.”

David presser his lips together. “You don’t have to feel like you have to,” he said. “It would be a lot to go through and I know it can’t be easy to talk about-“ Matteo interrupted him.

“I want to,” He said, his voice more sure this time. “It’s my fault that they’re in this position in the first place, so it’s really the least I can do.”

David still didn’t seem convinced.

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” Matteo said and squeezed David’s hand.

David looked down at their interlaced hands and then back to Matteo. Matteo gave him a reassuring smile.

“Okay, I’ll ask them,” he said at last.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“So I told Naomi and Peter about what happened,” David said as they walked towards the building of biomedicine. 

A week had passed since Matteo had told David everything and they had gotten back together. Life was starting to resemble some form of normalcy again, but Matteo still felt a little out of it. He had been back in school for two days now and was overwhelmed with homework and assignments that he had to catch up on. He had been to visit his mother again, alone this time, and even though it felt good to see her, there was still a feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach. 

Everything with him and David were good though. It wasn’t exactly back to how things used to be, but Matteo hadn’t expected that to be the case either. Things had definitely changed but Matteo didn’t think that was a bad thing. They felt more stable now, less fragile. There were no secrets between them anymore and Matteo liked that.

But he was still nervous when David spoke his words.

“Oh,” he said but couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. He could feel his hand begin to sweat and knew that David could feel it too since he was holding one of them.

“They understand, you know. Why you did what you did,” David said and looked at Matteo. 

Matteo swallowed and could feel a lump start to form in his throat. He couldn’t understand how everyone could be so forgiving of him. He didn’t deserve it.

Matteo continued to look straight ahead but he could feel that David’s eyes were still on him.

“I told them that about the testifying thing,” David said. 

Matteo cleared his throat before asking, “And what did they say?” 

“They’d be really thankful if you did it but they only want you to do it if you feel comfortable.”

“Tell them, I’ll do it,” Matteo said quickly. He would take any chance he got to fix the mess he had made. 

David bit the inside of his cheek. After studying Matteo’s face for a few seconds, he seemed to realize that Matteo wasn’t about to change his mind about this, so he said, “okay,” and nodded his head. “I’ll tell them.” 

They fell into silence again and had almost made it to the building of biomedicine, when David said, “Oh, and another thing.” He looked at Matteo. “They want you to come over to dinner later this week.”

Matteo bit his lip. 

He had almost ruined everything Mr. and Mrs. Keller had worked on for years and here they were, inviting him to dinner. He didn’t know if he would be able to look the two of them in the eye after what he had done.

David stopped abruptly and tugged at Matteo’s hand to get him to face him. Matteo turned toward him but didn’t meet his gaze.

“They forgive you Matteo, okay?” He tugged at Matteo’s hand again. “And now it's time for you to forgive yourself.”

He said it softly which made everything even worse and Matteo looked up into the sky as he blinked back tears. 

“You made a mistake Matteo, but now you’re trying to fix it,” David said and took Matteo’s other hand as well. “You’ll testify and they’ll be able to prove what Mr. Zimmerman has done.”

He squeezed Matteo’s hands. “You can’t go around punishing yourself like this. It’s not gonna to anybody any good.”

Matteo finally meet his gaze and and let out a shaky breath. He nodded. 

He didn’t know if he was ever gonna be able to forgive himself for what he had done. Or if he was ever going to get rid of the self hatred he had always carried around with him. But he would listen to David and at least try. It would probably take a long time and  _ a lot  _ of therapy but Matteo still wanted to try. Knowing that David thought he was a good person made everything just a little bit better for him.

David seemed to be satisfied with the little head nod and released one of his hands so that they could start walking towards the lab again.

Matteo thought back to several months ago when they walked this path together for the first time. He hadn’t had any idea what David would come to mean to him, or what they would have together. Back then he had just been a starstruck boy who had been eager at the chance of getting to spend time with someone so successful. That Matteo felt like a totally different person from who he was today. Now he had a relationship with his mother again, even if it was a rocky one. Now he didn’t have any weighing secrets from the people close to him. Now he was a boy in love and a boy who had that love returned. 

And despite all the things he had done, despite all the lies he had told and the secrets he had kept, Matteo still liked this version of himself better. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two weeks later Matteo was called into the principal's office at the school. He was surprised that it had taken them so long to come to a decision. 

Dinner with David’s godparents had been awkward at first since Matteo couldn’t do anything other than apologize to them repeatedly. He hadn’t stopped until Mrs. Keller had, kindly but firmly, told him that they had forgiven him and that he should stop. They thanked him for being willing to testify and told him that their lawyer thought they had good chances to be able to bring the case to court. Dinner had been smooth from then on and Matteo had been able to relax a little bit.

Matteo wasn’t feeling that relaxed now though as he sat down opposite Mrs. Huber, the school’s principal.

“I suspect you know why you are here Mr. Florenzi?” Mrs. Huber said and looked up from her papers.

“Yes, ma’am,” Matteo answered.

“Good, then let’s make this quick,” she said and looked down at the papers on her desk.

“You will be suspended for two weeks but will be allowed back for your final exams.”

Matteo looked at her with wide eyes.

“You mean I can still graduate?”

“Yes”

“And I’m not getting expelled?”

Mrs. Huber sighed and put away the papers. She looked up at Matteo.

“During any other circumstance you would have been Mr. Florenzi,” Matteo looked at her confused. “But considering you only have a few weeks left of your time here and the fact that you have a note from your therapist confirming your struggle with your mental health at the time of the exam, we are willing to make an exception.” Matteo couldn’t believe what she was saying.

He had been so dead set on being expelled that he hadn’t even considered the possibility that he would be allowed to stay.

“And you have been a good student here and the school is very pleased with your results in the programming field.”

Matteo didn’t know what to say. He wondered why the school had come to this decision since they must know that they would get a lot of backlash from the public for allowing him to stay. He suspected Mr. and Mrs. Keller might have something to do with it.

He got an explanation for the backlash part when Mrs. Huber spoke again.

“And we here at Kellers would appreciate it if you didn’t mention what you did to your exam to anyone else. It wouldn’t look good for the school if it got out.” 

Matteo nodded. “Of, course.” 

“You should be grateful, Mr. Florenzi,” Mrs. Huber said. 

Matteo nodded quickly and said, “I know. And I am. I know I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

“No you really shouldn’t have,” she agreed. “What you should have done, Mr. Florenzi, is to have asked us to reschedule your exam. We take health issues very seriously here at Kellers and we would have given you a new opportunity to take the exam.”

Matteo hadn’t even thought about that being an option. He had been to wrapped up in his own head to even consider that idea. But he hadn’t really realized he was depressed at the time either so it probably wouldn’t have made a difference if he had known that you could do that when having problems with you mental health. 

“Of course, Thank you,” He finally stammered. 

“Your welcome, Mr. Florenzi.”

Matteo got up from his chair and just as he was about to close the door to Mrs. Huber’s office, she said, “And do try not to cheat on you upcoming exams.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“We will go through all the questions that I’ll ask you during the trail and make sure that you know how to answer them,” Mr. Stahl, one of Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s lawyers, said.

They were having a meeting at the law firm’s office and Mr. Stahl and a woman called Ms. Korp where sitting opposite Matteo at a long table. They both wore friendly faces and had so far been nothing but nice, but Matteo couldn’t help the nervousness he felt. 

On his left sat both Mr. and Mrs. Keller and to his right was David. Matteo cast a glance towards David to make himself calmer but it didn’t really help since David looked even more nervous than Matteo felt. 

They had been there for half an hour and the lawyers had been giving them a quick run down of how the trial would work and play out. 

“Of course, Mr. Zimmerman’s lawyers will be allowed to ask you questions as well, but we will try to prepare you for them as best we can,” Mr. Stahl continued. 

Both he and Ms. Korp were in their late forties and according to Mr. Keller they were some of the best lawyers in the city.

Matteo swallowed and nodded. David, who had been quiet for the whole meeting, spoke up.

“And what if Mr. Zimmerman releases all that fake information about Matteo?” He asked and Matteo could see his eyes flicker to him for a moment.

That was the thing Matteo was the most nervous about and he had been trying to not think about it too much. He hadn’t brought it up with David or the Kellers because he didn’t want to seem like he was having seconds thoughts about the whole thing or like he was trying to get out of it. But the truth was that he was completely terrified of what would happen if Mr. Zimmerman followed through on his promise to make Matteo’s life miserable.

“We don’t believe it will be a problem. It wouldn’t be smart of the Zimmerman company to release that kind of information when they are already on trial. It would only look suspicious,” Mr. Stahl said and clasped his hand in front of him on the table. “If we had made these kind of accusations before Mr. Zimmerman had released anything about the Zim. 1000, he probably would have denied everything, since we wouldn’t have had any evidence, and then he wouldn’t have released it in the first place. But then he could have faked the documents about Mr. Florenzi and it would have looked suspicious on our part instead and like we were trying to cover up the thing Mr. Florenzi had done and blame everything on Mr. Zimmerman.”

Matteo regretted maybe for the millionth time, not going to Mr. and Mrs. Keller beforehand. They probably would have found a way out of it easily and these lawyers obviously knew what they where doing. 

Ms. Korp looked at Matteo. 

“Mr. Zimmerman probably doesn’t expect you to be willing to testify and he was probably just saying these things to scare you without ever planning to go through with them.”

And now Matteo felt even more dumb. He should have thought about how it would look if documents suddenly appeared right when Matteo was testifying against Mr. Zimmerman. 

Mrs. Keller seemed to know exactly what Matteo was thinking because she laid a hand on his shoulder and said, “Don’t feel bad about this Matteo. Simon can be very convincing and there is now way to ever know what’s truly going on inside that big head of his.” 

Matteo gave her a thankful smile just as David leaned forward in his chair. 

“But what if Mr. Zimmerman was planning for it?” He said with a worried look on his face. “I don’t think Matteo should do this if we aren’t a hundred percent sure that something isn’t gonna happen to him.”

Matteo put a hand on David’s arm. “David it’s fine. I’ll-“ He started in a quiet voice but David shook his head and interrupted him.

“No, I’m not gonna let you do something that will end up ruining your life,” he said firmly.

“Don’t worry Mr. Schreibner,” Mr. Stahl said. “We have prepared for that as well.” The man looked at Ms. Korp and the rest of the people in the room followed his gaze.

Ms. Korp adjusted the glasses she wore and cleared her throat before she said, “We might have another useful witness.”

Matteo’s thought started to spiral immediately. Another witness? He had know idea who that could be and from the look on Mr. and Mrs. Keller’s faces, this was the first time they were hearing about this as well.

“One of the employees at the Zimmerman company has come forward and is willing to testify against the company.” Ms. Korp continued.

Matteo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Against the company that they work at? Why would anyone be willing to do that?” Mr. Keller asked incredulously.

“Some people have a good moral compass,” Mr. Stahl said and shrugged.

“And you’re sure this is not just some hoax on Simon’s part?” Mrs. Keller asked. 

Ms. Korp shook her head. “They’ve already provided evidence that support Mr. Florenzi story that we can use in the trial.” 

“We are sure that with both the employee and Mr. Florenzi witnessing, we can win this case easily,” Mr. Stahl said.

Mr. Keller looked like this was the best news he had ever received and Mrs. Keller didn’t look that much different. Even David seemed to have relaxed a little and he didn’t seem as worried anymore. Matteo could feel some of his own tension disappear and he let out a long breath. Maybe there was a chance that everything could work out after all. Even the thought of that, filled Matteo with immense relief. 

He knew that going through the trial wouldn’t be easy, he had gathered as much from the first half hour of the meeting, but at least there was hope. Hope that he would actually be able to make up for doing something so terrible. Hope that he could actually get to continue with the life that he had dreamt about for so long. 

As Mr. Stahl and Ms. Korp continued talking about the long trial process, David reached over and took his hand. Matteo squeezed and looked over at him. David gave him a smile that filled Matteo with even more comfort.

_ Yeah,  _ Matteo thought as he returned David’s smile,  _ there is hope. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It was the night of the launch of the Keller and Co.’s new software system and Matteo had never been so dressed up in his life. He had borrowed one of David’s suits and was wearing a floral button down underneath it.

Matteo had gone straight from his mom’s place, to David’s. They had spent the day together and Matteo had actually had an really good time. She had been doing a lot better lately and it showed. She had even cooked for Matteo when he came over.

The last few months had been a whirlwind for Matteo. The trial had take up a lot more time than he had thought when he first agreed to do it. He had several weeks of preparation with Keller and Co.’s lawyers where they grilled him with questions that he might get on the stand. 

They told him to keep the part about changing his exam results to himself since it wouldn’t look good if the school still let him graduate after admitting to that. But everything else was fair game and they were sure it would be enough to have Mr. Zimmerman convicted.

The trial itself had also taken several weeks and Matteo had been asked to take the stand several times during it.

It had been one of the most nerve racking things he had ever done. Being asked personal questions about him and David’s relationship and about the things he had done, in front of a large group of people was not something he ever wanted to go through again. But at least they had won the case and Mr. Zimmerman had been declared guilt for both blackmailing and theft. 

The trial got a lot attention in the media, especially when Mr. Zimmerman’s employee came forward and witnessed against him. They could confirm that they had been asked to send Matteo a letter calling for an interview and to book a room in the office building Matteo had been to several times to meet with Mr. Zimmerman. They decided to remain anonymous to the public through the whole trial and Matteo kind of wished he had known that was an option. It was strange to see your face plastered on magazines with big exaggerated headlines.

The launch was taking place in the high office building that was a part of the Keller and Co. complex. It was on the top floor and Matteo stood by a window and admired the few of night time Berlin.

David had left to go and talk to some family friends and had left Matteo alone at the moment.

He picked up how phone and saw that he had gotten an text from Hans. He opened it and saw that it was a picture of Hans in a suit.  _ Trying on outfits for my new job, _ he wrote. 

Hans had finally got himself a job at a successful company in the city.  _ I have to stop living in the past,  _ he had said when Matteo asked him about it. Matteo was really happy for him and Hans seemed genuinely excited about the whole thing.

Matteo replied to the text and then put his phone in his pocket.

He looked at the people on the room.

Even though David had told him it was ridiculous and that he had to forgive himself, Matteo still felt like he shouldn’t be attending the launch. It was because of him that it nearly hadn’t happened at all.

He took a sip from his champagne glass and tried to get those thoughts out of his head. 

“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself Matteo,” came a voice from behind him. He turned around to see Mr. Keller standing behind him.

He hadn’t talked to Mr. Keller much after what had happened even though he had been over to their house several times after he and David had gotten back together. The only real conversation they’d had was when Matteo’s apologized to the Keller’s and agreed to testify in court. 

To be honest Matteo had kind of been of scared of talking to the man. And he still felt scared.

“I’m just…,” He drifted of not really knowing what to say. Mr. Keller went to stand next to him and looked out over Berlin.

“I’ve been getting the feeling you’ve been avoiding me,” he said.

Matteo didn’t deny it. 

“But I’ve also gotten the feeling there is something you want to say to me,” the man continued.

Mr. Keller was more observant than Matteo thought. There was something that had been nagging Matteo ever since David told him that his godparents had forgiven him. 

“I don’t understand how your not angrier with me,” Matteo finally confessed.

Mr. Keller nodded as if those were the exact words that he had been expecting Matteo to say. “Anger doesn’t get us very far in life Matteo.”

The words made sense but he still couldn’t completely understand it.

“But if it wasn’t for me. None of this would have happened. I almost made you lose something you had been working on for several years.”

Mr. Keller sighed and raised his champagne glass to his mouth and took a sip.

“I’ve known Simon Zimmerman for a long time and he is as greedy now as he was when we were younger,” he said and shook his head. Then continued, “He will do anything to get want he wants. Use anything to get what he wants.” Mr. Keller turned to look at Matteo. “And this time the thing he used was you.” He paused for a few seconds before continuing. “But believe me Matteo. If he couldn’t have used you, he would have found another way to get want he wanted.”

Matteo didn’t know if his words were true or if he was just saying it to make Matteo feel better, but he still appreciated it.

Mr. Keller put a hand on his shoulder.

“So stop blaming yourself and stop dwelling on what happened and just appreciate the fact that, in the end, it worked out.”

Matteo didn’t really know what to say to that so he just nodded.

“You’re a good boy Matteo,” Mr. Keller said and Matteo thought he heard a hint of affection in his voice.”You’ve made some mistakes, I’ll give you that. But we all make mistakes. It’s a part of life. And then we spend the rest of our life’s making up to those mistakes. “

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Matteo found David half an hour later on the roof of the building. The wind was ruffling his hair and Matteo thought it was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. Of course he thought that everytime he looked at David.

“You’re a changed man Mr. Schreibner,” Matteo said as he walked toward David whom looked up at his words. “look at you,” he said and gestured to David. “Attending three parties in one year.”

David smiled at him. “I thought these kinds of parties didn’t count.”

Matteo went up to him and leaned against the railing that went around the roof. 

“No your right, they don’t. You're still the boring nerd you used to be.”

David elbowed him. They stood next to each other in comfortable silence for a few minutes and then David gave him a much more gentle nudge.

“Hey, I published my research today. “

Matteo turned to him.

“What? That is amazing. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.”

He wrapped his arms around David and hugged him tight. David had worked so hard on the project for so long and it was nice to see that it had finally paid off.

“Thank you.” David said and let out a little laugh.

Matteo leaned away from him but still kept his arms around David’s neck while David brought his hands up to rest on Matteo’s waist.

“How does it feel?” Matteo asked.

David thought about it for a minute before answering him.

“It feels weird, but good.”

Matteo could understand that. It must be strange to put your whole heart in something and then suddenly have to release it into the world.

“You know, I never would have been able to do it without you,” Davis said. He pulled Matteo a little closer and Matteo felt his heart flutter.

“Nah that’s not true. You could have found some other programming prodigy to help you,” Matteo said.

David smiled and rolled his eyes 

“Yeah I could have,” He said. “But I wouldn’t have wanted to.”

He rested his forehead against Matteo’s.

“Only you.”

Matteo leaned forward and touched his lips to David’s. 

It was a long kiss, full of hope and promises. 

After awhile, they turned back to look at the view of the city below them.

Matteo thought about Mr. Keller’s words. He had made a lot of mistakes lately and some had been unfortunate enough to have caused severe damage. If this all had happened three years ago. When he had felt so alone. He didn’t think he would have been able to get back up again. Now everything was different. He had David and many other people on his side that loved him and believed in him. And now he was ready to make up for the mistakes. And Matteo definitely had a lot of mistakes to make up for. 

But as he looked at David, outlined against the dark sky that surrounded them, that thought didn’t seem so scary anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it! 
> 
> I can’t believe it’s already finished and that it ended up being this long. I got this idea one afternoon and couldn’t stop thinking about it and here we are over 50 000 words later.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been cheering me on while I was writing this and thank you to everyone who has been reading, commented and left kudos on this fic!
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope you enjoyed reading it as well!
> 
> If you wanna talk about the fic or just druck in general you can go to my tumblr Mysticalgiggles.
> 
> Ps. I have no idea how the German justice system works so everything in this chapter is completely made up.


End file.
